Two Modest Uncles Bouncing to the Beat
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Matt Connor was thinking about Morwenna Slaughterhouse again. Morwenna was a hopeful wally with dirty legs and fat spots.
Matt walked over to the window and reflected on his noisy surroundings. He had always loved dull Los Angeles with its powerless, pretty parks. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel sparkly.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the hopeful figure of Morwenna Slaughterhouse.
Matt gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a lovable, down-to-earth, squash drinker with chubby legs and ugly spots. His friends saw him as a knobbly, keen knight. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a solid baby bird.
But not even a lovable person who had once jumped into a river and saved a solid baby bird was prepared for what Morwenna had in-store today.
The hail pounded like skipping elephants, making Matt afraid. Matt grabbed a peculiar hat that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.
As Matt stepped outside and Morwenna came closer, he could see the blushing smile on her face. Morwenna then bent down slightly so she could hear his words better, which made both their hats fall off. They stared at them embarrassed for an uncomfortable amount of time before they threw their hats back on.
‘Hey there!’ shouted Matt enthusiastically, ‘what are you up to?’
Morwenna stopped walking. She thought for a moment.
She stuttered, ‘Nothing really.’
‘Wow! How can you be nothing? I mean that’s such a pointless word. What kind of thing is “nothing” anyway?’
Morwenna smiled. Her skin looked brighter than the sun and her pink hair shone brighter still. Morwenna didn’t need a hat to catch people’s attention. But she liked wearing one, mainly because everyone else did. And besides, her pink hair had never felt more radiant than when covered by a peculiar cap.
Matt walked nearer until his legs bumped into hers. This only lasted for a split second before Morwenna jumped away. But Matt wasn’t paying enough attention. He went straight through the wall. His mouth fell open; his eyes were wide.
He stumbled backward, bumping into another building. A black lady peered out from behind the door and glared angrily at the crazy man.
‘Oh dear,’ thought Matt, ‘I may have just done some serious damage.
He shuffled away quickly, stopping once again next to Morwenna. The two stood together silently, staring across at each other’s faces. Inhaling deeply, Matt searched for something interesting about Morwenna’s appearance. There had always been too much.
It seemed unfair though. Morwenna tried to make herself look perfectly ordinary, but no matter how hard she tried, her body was not.
Matt wished he knew exactly what she used to do, otherwise, he would probably run away screaming. Matt was happy doing all sorts of things, he couldn’t imagine doing anything. Even the most boring job in the world sounded like fun if you had a goal in mind or something to chase. So long as there was something worth living for, he liked living.
Suddenly Matt spotted an unkind stare aimed in his direction. Morwenna must have sensed it too. She picked up her bag and started walking.
Matt reached out his hand to stop her. The thought that this was the last time they’d ever meet popped into his head. However, Morwenna hadn’t heard. She continued on her way, leaving Matt behind with only one thing left to say: ‘Bye!’
There were many strange, remarkable places on Earth. The great deserts of Africa, the cold snow peaks of Canada, and the majestic rain forests of Brazil. Yet none compared to the quiet, mysterious forest that lay beyond the ocean between North America and Europe.
Once, this wooded land had been home to thousands upon thousands of trees, yet now it belonged to just one. Here lived a solitary giant who kept himself hidden away in the heart of his maze-like forest home.
His name was Percival Smith, and his forest was called Charnel Wood.
When Mr. Smith first discovered his woodland domain, he immediately saw a problem. Like millions of other people around the globe, he wanted to build a house there. As his eyes scanned the tree roots beneath the ground, he noticed a very peculiar pattern emerging. All around the circumference of the whole area, he found branches arranged in a perfect circle. He wondered who or what might have created this spiral, and why they had bothered.
Mr. Smith took out his pipe and began to blow smoke rings. One after the other they swirled high above his head and disappeared. Then suddenly, a disturbing shape appeared within the cloud – it was a woman wearing what looked like a cloak made of white feathers. A massive sword hung from her back. She twirled the weapon around and cut several birds. Their blood dripped onto the leaves below. The lady seemed pleased. She then placed one hand over her chest, and with the other hand stretched her arm to the sky. When she lowered her arms, three beautiful golden stars fluttered down and landed in front of her feet.
Percival laughed and puffed his cigarette. No human being or spirit creature had ever seen the woods surrounding him, so where had this mysterious lady come from?
As the woman finished sprinkling the starlight across her grassy patch, Mr. Smith decided to show her his own little secret place deep within the dark depths. He followed the spiral pattern and entered the hollow inside. There, among the branches that swayed gently in the breeze, he hid his black metal box. Only he knew what this device contained, so it was safe enough to hide here.
This particular location housed a number of surprises. Strange creatures also dwelled in Charnel Wood. Some inhabited the deepest parts of Percival’s home while others roamed free outside. Creatures such as winged dragons, gnarly trolls, and even a large wolf with red eyes. It could be said these were quite normal, apart from their extraordinary abilities.
Though the creatures of Percival’s wood were fascinating to watch, it was his only friend who really captured his imagination – a little grey squirrel, who showed him a lot more of life’s mysteries. Each day, the two enjoyed endless discussions on Percival’s favorite subject: magic. They talked about everything magical, including alchemy, physics, and mystical laws. After all, everything in nature has a physical explanation and a natural law governing its behavior. If those laws were broken, then the phenomenon became impossible to understand. And when something came from nowhere, it wasn’t magic; it was just coincidence.
‘Let me tell you my theory on magic,’ Mr. Smith said one sunny morning. ‘The universe is ruled by some kind of cosmic force called ‘magic’, which operates in everything we see or feel.’
Mister Fox gazed at his wise companion, ears perked forward eagerly for any further revelations.
‘But that isn’t magic because science can explain it and you’re telling me that every single thing I’ve read in history books is due to magic?’
‘That’s right. Magic may not seem real, but it simply means “something inexplicable”. There’s no such thing as true magic, which means that all phenomena are natural. The weirdest part is that all living things have some kind of special ability related to magic.’
Mr. Smith had decided to answer Mister Fox’s question rather than let him think. Percival didn’t believe in hiding facts from anyone. In fact, he often wondered if most people would behave better if they realized the truth.
He explained to his faithful friend how humans constantly look for proof of magic, such as flying carpets, genies granting wishes, ghosts, witches, vampires etcetera. Most people probably don’t realize it but the only supernatural elements in life actually exist within themselves. For instance, many people are capable of telepathy. Their thoughts travel long distances through space instantaneously, leaving an invisible trail. This has happened to them countless times without noticing it.
They walk into a room to talk to someone, yet they hear the person thinking loudly before they say anything. Or maybe the sound of birds chirping outside the window reminds you of someone from your past. At that moment, both memories hit you simultaneously. What does this mean? Well, sometimes, it means the mind can transmit information faster than the speed of light. Many people use this superpower unconsciously to make important decisions. However, more often than not, people react violently whenever they encounter a stranger. That’s why scientists refer to this as ‘social blindness’.
It simply means that we never notice those around us, and prefer to remain ignorant of each other until something terrible happens. But what good would it do to know the truth? Nothing at all, except perhaps knowing exactly who and what we are. So why bother learning about these subjects if knowledge brings so much trouble? Because we’re stronger when we can control ourselves. When we discover our unique power or paranormal ability, there are huge benefits.
These powers are often connected with magic, although they aren’t exactly supernatural. They help us transcend life’s boundaries and improve the world. We become more than human. Though magic is everywhere, we usually choose to ignore the truth. A magician should never reveal his secrets. Why? Simply because it’s easier to pretend you don’t exist instead of accepting the way you really are, and that the rest of humanity doesn’t want to accept either.
Humans are naturally suspicious, and afraid to leave their comfort zone. Yet, eventually, those fears will catch up with everyone. Maybe magic exists or maybe it doesn’t. One thing’s for sure, however: most of us are no longer able to distinguish between fantasy and reality anymore.
‘Now, let’s go find your mum,’ Mr. Smith said, putting out his cigarette. ‘She’ll be worried sick.’
‘Do you know where she is?’ Mister Fox asked in curiosity.
‘No, but we still have time to look.’
Percival nodded enthusiastically, jumping up on his hind legs. He felt great! The fresh air was blowing over his fur. His paws padded softly on the mossy ground as if they knew where they had to take him next.
They hadn’t walked far when Mister Fox stopped suddenly, trying to make sense of what lay before him. Mister Fox sniffed the air, twitching his whiskers anxiously in confusion. Percival noticed his friend was being very quiet, but that’s because he was listening carefully.
As his nose found the source of his uneasiness, the fox could hardly keep calm. Something smelled delicious. His mouth watered uncontrollably, making his stomach rumble loudly. Was it another rabbit? No, he couldn’t taste meat anywhere. Not even bacon! Then, he sensed something else too. Warmth…and darkness? With trembling paws, Percival ventured towards the feeling of warm earth. As he walked deeper and deeper into the forest, he saw strange trees covered in brambles.
Felled by the rain, perhaps, and left to rot. The branches hung low like dead arms reaching for the sky. But nothing was rotting here. In fact, everything looked alive. And Mister Fox must’ve known what a miracle this place was already when the first human settlers arrived in New Zealand. It had taken decades to clear these woods away and plant new ones, but nobody suspected that one day they’d grow back together. Nature knows its own course.
Percival watched Mister Fox’s face while the squirrel tried to follow his steps into this mysterious world.
‘Are you okay?’ the hedgehog whispered, hoping not to disturb the trees.
His companion shook his head and pawed the leaves. ‘I’m lost! I don’t belong here!’ the small animal said with a tremulous voice. ‘This isn’t right.’
The fox rubbed his furry chin thoughtfully. ‘That is the beauty of nature, Mister Fox. You can never know what lies beyond the next tree. There might just be a cave full of bats and lizards or an island brimming with penguins. That’s why humans took so long to settle down after our arrival. We were forever discovering something new: from tuatara parrots to birds with blue eggs.’
‘Where are we then?’ Percival asked nervously, wondering how close he dared get. He remembered the sound of the bell.
Mr. Smith laughed quietly, looking around at the foliage and roots sticking through the ground. ‘We’re underground. Just trust me.’
With each step, the fox grew more curious about this magical woodland. A wellspring bubbling with life, inviting them inside. If there really was anything dangerous in these woods, he didn’t feel it yet. But he kept his eye on the hedgerow anyway, always expecting the bell to chime again any moment now. They were walking in circles and Mr. Smith seemed to be getting nowhere. Why did he not answer her questions? Or was she not meant to ask him? What would happen if they ran into her kidnapper?
Would Mister Fox have enough courage to come forward and tell the police what he knew? Percival hoped he wouldn’t hesitate to do the brave thing, even knowing their lives might depend on it. He couldn’t help but worry. And while he was busy thinking about the future, Miss Rat grabbed his paw and tugged at it urgently.
‘Come on,’ she cried, pulling him towards the entrance of the tunnel. ‘Let’s see what’s happening.’ The two friends scampered around the corner and found themselves in a large cavernous space surrounded by stalagmites and stalactites. At the center sat the strange blue-green liquid, rolling gently across the floor in hypnotic rhythms. Wherever it touched something, it absorbed it. The walls appeared to be made of millions upon millions of tiny green crystals.
White light filtered down through the roof, creating a magical atmosphere and illuminating the sparkling water below. In all their years of exploration, the hedgehogs had never seen such an amazing sight. It almost looked like a lake inside the Earth itself. But whatever it was, the animals knew instinctively that it came from a different world.