Work Hard In Silence And Let Success Make The Noise
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“I’m not sure I know how to do this…”
The words came from the mouth of a young man with a shock of brown hair, and he sounded as if they were coming from far away. He was sitting on an office chair in his living room, looking around at the walls.
There had been no need for a couch or bed—he hadn’t wanted them. His home wasn’t much bigger than what you might have expected to see in a college dorm room. It wasn’t much larger than what one would expect in any small apartment building. Only it wasn’t just any apartment; he lived here alone, and that’s why it was so small.
He wore his dark-red shirt loosely over a blue vest, both held together by a simple black belt. His pants matched his outfit in color and fabric, though the style was entirely different.
They hung low enough that his thighs could be seen when he sat down but weren’t loose anywhere else, and their design was more reminiscent of something you’d wear riding a horse than walking down the street. He carried himself differently, too—as if he knew every part of him mattered, and that he should take care of it all.
It was only a few days since he left his parents’ home, where he grew up in a modest suburban neighborhood, and there were times when it felt like he was already an adult in a place that didn’t quite feel real yet. A place that didn’t feel like it was supposed to exist.
His name was Thomas Balthasar, and he was an apprentice wizard—or rather, a mage. He’d come from a magical family; his mother worked at the Ministry of Magic, while his father was employed by the Department of Mysteries, and he had grown up in a house where magic permeated everything from their meals to their conversation.
Yet now he was here, sitting in a place that seemed very different… He had always thought of wizards as people who used spells on occasion, and magicians as those who did it professionally, but he was about to find out which kind he was.
This is going to work, Thomas told himself firmly. You’re going to do your best, and the rest will follow. If nothing else, maybe Professor Sato will let me try one of those spells she likes so much. Maybe then someone will notice I’ve got potential. That would make things easier.
As if I’d be willing to use my magic on her. She doesn’t even look like she belongs in this world…
Thomas shook his head slightly and looked back at the books piled on the desk before him. This is all wrong. It feels strange and uncomfortable here. Not that he couldn’t live with it—his parents would have insisted on sending him somewhere better than Hogwarts anyway if they thought it necessary—but it was a constant reminder of something that should never have happened.
He tried to tell himself that it was all right, that it wasn’t so bad being here after all, but he wasn’t convinced. He’d spent most of his life learning that he belonged here, and he still found it hard to believe he really could leave. But here we go, he thought. I’ll prove myself, and then maybe they’ll change their minds.
“What are you thinking?” came a voice from behind him. Thomas froze. He hadn’t heard anyone get into the house—it must be magic. “It’s good to see you, Tom.”
The voice again. Thomas turned slowly toward the door to his office. The face that stared back at him belonged to an old woman wearing glasses, her white hair pulled up into a tight bun. Thomas didn’t know anything about her except that she taught magic at the university, but she was clearly important to his situation.
“Professor Sato,” he said tentatively, wondering whether there was some way he could pretend he hadn’t been listening.
“Don’t worry about it. Just call me Kiki.” Her smile widened, but her gaze remained steady and serious. “I know what you must be feeling right now, so let me assure you: you belong here. And so do I.” She paused, her eyes narrowing thoughtfully.
“Although I am not actually Professor Sato. She’s a friend, that’s all. We’re friends, but we aren’t each other. So when you speak to me, don’t think about her. Don’t talk about her.”
The last word made Thomas feel like she had slapped him in the face. I didn’t hear anything! Why does it matter?
Kiki raised an eyebrow and shrugged ever so slightly. “You can call me Kiki, though. Or you can call me whatever you want to. My name has no meaning here. I suppose you may need to remember to do that until you learn how to block out my voice completely.”
Thomas nodded dumbly. He didn’t like the idea of speaking to anyone without knowing exactly who it was, especially someone as important as Professor Sato, but if Professor Kiki was telling him to ignore her, then he would obey. At least for now, while he learned how to control his new powers properly.
“That’s settled then,” Professor Kiki went on, turning away from Thomas and toward his bookshelf. “But we haven’t got time to waste. You’ve been working on a spell that uses your blood and sweat and tears and all sorts of to create a shield. Do you know where the research is?”
“Yes,” Thomas said. “I’m sorry… I’m just surprised you know about it. No one else does.”
“I’ve lived around wizards all my life,” Professor Kiki said easily. “And I’ve been studying the wards since I was twelve years old. There were some things in there that I found curious.” She smiled briefly, and Thomas remembered she was a wizard, too.
“Anyway, I thought perhaps they might interest you, as well.” She walked over to the shelf and picked up a few books before coming back to his desk. “Here you are.”
She passed him a slim book and he opened it to the marked page. “What is this?” he asked quietly, staring at the words as if he could force them to say more if he looked closely enough. He knew the title was “Shield of Blood and Sweat,” but there wasn’t any explanation or indication of what it was supposed to be like.
In fact, there didn’t appear to be anything about it at all beyond its name. As far as he could tell, it could have been about making ice cream.
“Blood,” the professor replied. “Sweat, tears, and saliva—the latter two only in trace amounts, by the way.” She leaned forward, squinting intently at Thomas. “Have you read anything about those three ingredients yet?”
Thomas shook his head. He was starting to wish the professors would stop talking to him like they knew everything already.
“Well, they’re all part of spells that protect the caster from harm. They’re not always used together, because the concentration needed for the spit to work will make the whole thing too heavy and unstable.”
Professor Kiki took off her glasses and wiped them with a handkerchief before placing them carefully on her wrinkled forehead. “In short: if you use all three ingredients, you’ll probably end up destroying yourself trying to build such a powerful shield.”
“Is that true?” Thomas blurted suddenly. It seemed like something he should have known.
The professor nodded. “It’s absolutely true. But there is one exception to this rule.” She tapped a finger against her glasses. “There is one shield that requires only two ingredients: a person’s blood and sweat. This one works even if the caster is exhausted.
The reason is simple, really. Blood and sweat react together chemically to form an energy-absorbing material which absorbs all magic in its vicinity, including that of any nearby wizards.”
“All magic,” Thomas repeated numbly. It sounded like the stuff of nightmares. “That’s horrible!”
“Oh, no,” the professor said gently. “Not really. Think of it this way—all magic in its most basic sense comes directly from the universe itself. All wizards draw upon the very fabric of reality for our power.
So when someone makes use of sweat and blood to make a shield, the two components absorb not only the other’s magical energy but also that of the world. That’s why they can protect people even when they are tired or weak.” She smiled kindly again. “I told you, it isn’t horrible at all; it’s simply a natural phenomenon we can use intelligently. And you’ll see the advantage soon enough.”
Thomas stared down at the book. What did all that mean anyway? He felt overwhelmed by the amount of information she was throwing at him, but at last, he managed to nod. “Yes… thank you…”
Professor Kiki gave him another warm smile and then turned abruptly back to his bookshelf. Thomas glanced over at the door, wondering how long he had left before the others came calling. Professor Kiki was right about needing time to study.
Even if he didn’t understand the full implications of all the terms and ideas being thrown at him, there was still plenty to go through. At least he would be able to take a closer look at his father’s notes after lunch if he managed to survive until then!
***
Lunch was a quiet affair at the university cafeteria. Everyone was busy eating in silence except for a few whispered conversations between the students. Only Professor Nari made a point of smiling at him as he approached the table and took his seat.
His eyes were tired and his brow was creased with worry, but he nodded quickly as Thomas sat beside him. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “You must be tired already.”
“No, I’m fine,” Thomas answered softly, although he didn’t quite believe it. He was so drained mentally that it was hard to feel hungry; he couldn’t imagine ever being hungry again in his life. But he forced himself to eat quickly, not wanting to let the professors down. If they expected him to live off his own wits, he had better damn well prove it somehow.
As if sensing his mood, Professor Kiki spoke first. “We are doing all we can, you know.” She paused and looked around at the other professors. “I hope you’ll forgive us for not giving you a proper welcome, Thomas, but it just wasn’t possible. Your entrance into the university has been delayed so much that your fellow students have gone ahead without you. Don’t feel bad about that—”
“They won’t even notice me,” Thomas muttered, pushing his food around with his fork. He had barely spoken more than five words since leaving the house. “What do you expect me to do here anyway? Sit alone while everyone else gets to know each other?”
“Of course not,” Nari cut in before anyone could answer. “But we thought you might prefer to spend the time working out some of the things you need to learn rather than sitting around waiting for the others.”
“I’m sure they’d agree.” Professor Kiki reached across and patted his hand reassuringly. “Don’t get downhearted, Thomas. We haven’t forgotten about you.”
After lunch, he went straight to the library for the first time. The librarians there were helpful and pointed him toward books on the subject of wards, spells, and magical theory. There were too many shelves to explore, however, and it was getting dark outside before he managed to find anything useful.
After dinner, he returned to the library. With nothing better to do, he found a chair in the corner and set to work. It was the first real opportunity he had to concentrate on the task ahead of him, and he needed it.
Thomas read late into the night, making a careful note of all he encountered. By morning he was exhausted. As usual, he hadn’t slept well during the previous night. He felt drained and depressed, but as he pushed away the books and began walking up the hill toward his home, he felt an unexpected wave of relief.
Maybe now he would actually get somewhere with this whole wizarding thing, maybe now he would finally make his father proud of him.
Thomas walked slowly up the street and paused before his house. There was no sign of his parents and there was no sound of them moving about inside. In fact, he was surprised to see someone sitting at their kitchen table.
A familiar-looking woman sat there, eating breakfast quietly. She looked up when he approached and gave him a quick nod of greeting. “Good morning, Thomas. Can I help you?”
The woman wore a simple cotton dress and a wide-brimmed hat pulled low over her face. She was tall, slim, and very elegant. Her hair was dark brown, tied back with a blue ribbon. Thomas knew she was older than most of his parents’ friends—at least thirty, perhaps even forty years old—but it was hard to judge the exact age because of the way she held herself: rigid and controlled.
This was a woman who knew what people expected of her and didn’t give them any reason not to meet those expectations. She was a lady.
He tried to hide his confusion as best he could. “Are you—” He swallowed nervously, searching his mind for a polite phrase but finding none. “Did my mother mention something about you?”
The lady frowned slightly. “She didn’t mention your name specifically. Perhaps she mentioned someone who sounded like you. Or maybe she’s simply been busy lately…”
“Oh,” Thomas said awkwardly, feeling stupid suddenly.
“Perhaps I should go,” the woman added quickly, rising from the table. She smiled briefly as she passed him. “It is good to have you home, Thomas.”
When he turned back toward his own house, the front door swung open, admitting the bright sunlight. As he stepped through the door, his mother rushed forward and hugged him tightly. She kissed the top of his head, then released him, stepping back, blinking rapidly as though trying to focus her eyes.
“You look tired,” she observed casually.
“A little.” Thomas glanced away from his mother and toward the kitchen door. “Is she still there?”
“Yes,” his mother replied calmly. “But let us speak to her later. For now, tell me how your classes went last night.”
***
For the rest of that morning, Thomas did everything he could to avoid his mother. When they sat down for lunch, he pretended to be engrossed in his meal; when his father arrived home early, he kept his back turned until he left again.
Even his evening reading sessions in the library were conducted with all possible haste and without a single pause. His mother watched him with concern. “Why are you avoiding me?” she asked, looking concerned.
“Because,” he replied vaguely, pushing the book aside. “I don’t really want to talk about anything with anyone until I’ve got some answers to these questions.” He took one last sip of his tea before setting it down carefully on its saucer.
“All right,” she conceded. “If that’s what you think is best…”
That night he went straight to bed after dinner, but sleep came quickly. The following day he rose early and hurried over to the library before it opened, so as to spend more time there than usual.
He spent hours wandering the bookshelves, studying spellbooks and grimoires as well as histories of magic and magicians. Most of what he read was beyond him, but he made notes anyway: every reference, every odd phrase, and word, any connection between two seemingly unrelated subjects.
He felt like a fool at times, staring into space while his hands worked automatically over his paper, scribbling down notes or sketches. Yet somehow the exercise was helping clear his thoughts. He wasn’t sure why. It was as though by putting the pieces together in his mind, he could understand them.
And if that was the case, maybe it wouldn’t be long before he found what he was looking for.
His stomach began rumbling loudly enough that the librarian finally sent him out of the main room and into the small kitchen where she handed him a plate of toast and cheese. “Have a seat,” she instructed, “and I’ll fetch you your tea.”
As he ate, he continued writing down whatever he thought might be important, until the librarian returned with his mug and set it down beside his hand-scrawled notes. “Thank you.” He nodded to her absently and carried on working as he sipped his drink.
A couple of minutes later, he heard voices behind him: a man and a woman conversing quietly. He turned to look. “Hello,” he said politely, nodding to each of them in turn. Then he focused on the woman who’d spoken first, the one who’d introduced herself as Lady Tessa.
She stood at the other end of the table, watching him with interest. “Are you Thomas? Your father mentioned you might be visiting today.”
Thomas smiled slightly. “My father told you about me?”
“He mentioned that you were studying with Master Erevis, and asked me to come along to help you learn more magic,” she explained. Her gaze drifted across the notes he’d taken. “So far I haven’t seen much evidence of your skills.”
“Master Erevis hasn’t been very forthcoming with me yet,” Thomas admitted. “But we’re getting to it. You know… what happened yesterday was just so unexpected, so confusing. There’s so much I need to understand, and he’s not going to teach me that kind of thing if he doesn’t know what I already know.
Or what I think I know.” He hesitated, glancing around as though expecting someone to hear this conversation. “But even then,” he went on more seriously, “there are things that will take months to figure out – years even, assuming I can find the answer. So it shouldn’t be too long before we’ve got something.”
The woman nodded, apparently satisfied that his explanation had covered everything. After a few seconds of silence, she turned back to the librarian and asked about the next lecture being given by Professor Mathers. They talked for a short while, and after that Thomas finished his breakfast.
“Excuse me,” he said when he noticed both of them had their backs to him. “I have my own business to attend to.”
They didn’t say anything else; they simply watched as he walked back up the aisle and into the main part of the library. He found himself wishing desperately for a way of telling them how he really felt without hurting anyone’s feelings.
The idea of lying about his situation seemed almost ridiculous now, so he decided to be blunt. “I’m leaving,” he announced as soon as he caught sight of them.
Both of them turned to look at him. “What did you say?” Lady Tessa asked sharply, turning back to the librarian. “Did you overhear something?”
She nodded curtly and the woman left. “I didn’t hear anything,” he assured them. “It was just— I’ve been here for three days, and you don’t know me. So let me explain: I’ve got some unfinished business elsewhere. I should be gone within the hour.”
He paused, waiting for their response, but neither of them replied immediately. In fact, Lady Tessa looked away and pretended to study her book again. After a minute or two, he added, “There may still be another chance for us. But I won’t be around for it.”
The End