Viking Bongs
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The Vikings liked to drink. They were famous for it and their drinking binges could last days. The most common beverage was beer, but some of the warriors would mix wine with mead (mikvah) or ale (goth). Wine and mead were usually served in a wooden bowl known as a “drengr” or mug called a galdr; ale was served in large clay bowls called mugs or hákarls.
The warriors also enjoyed strong spirits, like vodka and gin, which they mixed with fruit juices or flavored liqueurs such as rhubarb, honey, and lemon juice. Some Viking ships carried barrels of rum or other hard liquor to be used sparingly when celebrating victories or after a long voyage.
In addition to being an alcoholic drink, mead was used medicinally. The Vikings believed that it had the power to cure everything from colds and fevers to snakebites and poison ivy. It was especially valuable because it did not spoil during long sea voyages.
It was considered unlucky to spill mead so if a warrior dropped his bowl he was expected to pick up the contents without spilling a drop. To this day the phrase “to break a Viking’s drengr” means to do something extremely careless.
When a Norseman wanted to get rid of an unwanted guest, he might order him to eat bread dipped in mead. If he refused, he was said to have been offered the “bread and mead curse.”
If you drank too much, your tongue would begin to swell and feel heavy as if it weighed twenty pounds. Your eyes would grow dimmer and the color of your urine yellow and then brown. You’d become dizzy and unable to stand or walk straight; eventually, you’d fall down into unconsciousness.
A man who died from drinking too much was said to die with his eyes wide open. This was called “drink death,” though sometimes the dying person was simply given the name Gjallar. Both men and women suffered from this illness, as evidenced by the Icelandic sagas: “Gjallar the Unsighted” (a female), “Ragnarr the Drunken” (a male), and “Norse Blood Runs Thick” (both male).
Some Norsemen believed that when drinking, you should always drink at the same time each night—for instance, before supper. Otherwise, if your belly began to fill up with food, you could end up getting drunk and having to vomit.
If you spilled your drink, you were said to be “drunk on the table”—that is, on whatever was sitting on top of the table.
A man who drank too much and passed out could suffer a condition known as “the wrath of Odin.” If someone killed you in your sleep, you were said to die in “the wrath of the gods.” And if you died while lying beside your wife, she was said to suffer “the wrath of Freyja the Goddess of Love.”
Women who indulged in too much drinking could be accused of “losing their heads” —that is, becoming intoxicated and foolish. In one famous tale, a woman named Hildigunn was said to lose her head because she drank so much and went crazy over a handsome young warrior.
As we learn from the tales and sagas, many Viking warriors were not above taking a little something extra in the form of “mead and milk” or “wine and cheese.” When a Norseman was about to go off on a voyage, his friends gave him the name of a beast.
He was thus dubbed “Frey-beast,” “Hafling,” “Loki-beast,” and so forth. Some men were even given names of animals they resembled: a man with a thick beard was named “hairy-necked,” and a fat man was “fatty-pudding.”
Drinking, fighting, and women: it sounds like a good time to me!
***
“What Do We Want?”
“Dead Vikings!”
“When Do We Want Them?”
“Now!”
–From a popular rhyme among Norsemen
Alfred the Great had made the Saxon people more peaceful and prosperous than ever before in Saxon history, yet the country remained unsettled. Alfred had conquered the Danish kingdom and united the tribes under Saxon leadership, but there was still unrest throughout the lands between the Thames and the Baltic Sea.
The Danes continued their raids, killing, looting, burning, raping, and enslaving Saxons whenever they chose. They attacked England, which made the Saxons nervous and suspicious. Even Alfred’s son, Edward, seemed uncertain of his own power and was often seen as an extension of Alfred’s will.
Many Saxons believed the English king had no right to rule them because they were of different blood. As the years passed, they became more convinced that only one group of Saxon-English would truly prosper: those with Dane blood. Thus, the Danish-Saxon Wars began.
In 794, King Ethelred died and was succeeded by his sister, Aethelflaed. Like her father and brother, she was descended from Alfred, though she was also related to the Danes through marriage. She tried to maintain peace with the Danish kingdoms, which were ruled by her cousin Penda of Mercia. But her attempts did not prevent the Danes from continuing their attacks upon Saxon settlements along the coast.
During Aethelred’s reign, the Danes raided and burned the small city of Bebbanburg. The next year, the Danish prince Cwicca arrived at Bebbanburg to claim the city for himself. He brought with him five ships filled with plunder and weapons to help defend the town against future attacks.
He also sent a letter to Aethelflaed explaining that he hoped she would recognize him as lord of Bebbanburg and grant him permission to establish a settlement nearby. He asked if there were any place in her kingdom where he might build a church dedicated to Saint Peter.
This message reached Aethelflaed at a very bad time. There was already trouble brewing within the royal family as her husband, Earned, plotted to seize power from his mother and assume the throne himself. Aethelflaed realized that she needed allies in order to protect Bebbanburg.
She knew that if her father-in-law seized the city, it would be lost forever. So she decided to send messengers to Cwicca asking for help.
Cwicca replied by demanding that if Aethelflaed wanted him to support her as she had promised, she must first surrender to him all the land surrounding Bebbanburg. This included the land between the rivers Waveney and Yare, as well as the island of Lindisfarne. If this was done, Cwicca said he would allow the new queen to rule over her people. In other words, he was making Aethelflaed a vassal of Denmark.
Aethelflaed agreed and sent back word to Cwicca that he could set up camp outside Bebbanburg. Her message also reminded him that if his army invaded the land of Bebbanburg without permission, her soldiers would cut down every Dane in their path.
Within a few weeks, Aethelflaed heard nothing from Cwicca again. The Dane armies returned to their homeland in the summer of 795. Then, when it looked as if the war was coming to an end, Aethelflaed received a reply from him. It told her she must send all the hostages she had taken from the Bebbanburg raiders. And if she refused, Cwicca said he would send troops to burn Bebbanburg down around her ears.
That night, Aethelflaed gathered her warriors together and explained what she planned to do. “For we are not just fighting to win,” she declared. “We are fighting so our children can live on this land.”
Her words struck deep into the hearts of everyone present. Many were moved by her courage; others were inspired to join her in battle because they believed they would have a chance at winning glory in such an assault.
One man even suggested that they use a trick known as harakiri, or suicide by disembowelment, to ensure victory. Others said Aethelflaed should kill her husband instead of letting him continue his plan to usurp her authority.
But Aethelflaed knew this course would lead to disaster. She was not going to let herself be killed. So she gathered her friends and advisers and discussed the best way to defeat the invaders from Denmark.
She decided that the Danes would enter through Bebbanburg’s western gate. That meant that the defenders would be able to surround them in a narrow corridor and cut off all escape routes. They would then attack the enemy from all sides, driving them toward the gates while their archers fired arrows into their backs. When the Danish king saw his men fleeing in fear, he would know he had been defeated and give up his attempt to capture the fort.
As soon as Aethelflaed’s warriors left for the gate, however, Eanred sent a force to meet them there. These new enemies were led by Eadbehrt, a former friend who now fought with the Danes. He had deserted the Mercian side during the Battle of the Winwaed in 794 to take advantage of Aethelflaed’s weakness. Now he came with an army of twenty-five thousand men.
Aethelflaed’s warriors formed their ranks and stood ready to fight. But the Danes simply drove through the defenders and made straight for the gate. They pushed aside the two doors in its front wall and charged inside. Aethelflaed was horrified at the sight of Eadbehrt leading them on horseback directly at her. She called out to the men around her, “You see the enemy? Don’t run. Fight!”
The battle began in earnest. Men rushed into the main hall where the enemy had just entered, killing and wounding many before being driven back by the shield wall. But some did manage to reach the hall and cut down dozens more.
As the attackers retreated back into the corridors, Aethelflaed’s men followed, driving them along those same tunnels. Finally, they surrounded the enemy in the center of the fortress. Here, the Danes fell back and formed a line, waiting for reinforcements to arrive.
At last, one of Aethelstan’s generals arrived with four hundred men. With them was King Ecgfrith, who had been away dealing with matters in Northumbria. They advanced and managed to hold off Eadbehrt and his warriors until the next day.
Then, when the sun rose over the sea, the Danes attacked again, driving the Mercian forces out of the hall and slaughtering the remaining defenders.
Aethelflaed’s soldiers had lost almost a third of their number in this first round of fighting. Many had been injured, too; some were even killed outright. Aethelflaed herself had a gash across her shoulder that still seeped blood. Some thought it might mean death if she bled to death.
Yet none of the women who accompanied her showed any sign of being affected by the loss. Most were covered head to foot in blood and gore. Their faces were pale, but they were smiling and shouting orders to those around them. They were determined to drive the Danes from Bebbanburg forever.
And so they did. In fact, by the following morning, they were celebrating their victory. They threw a feast for themselves and their allies and raised a toast to Aethelflaed’s leadership, which had brought them victory. They sang songs about Aethelflaed, praising her strength and bravery as a warrior and queen.
After a month of hard fighting, the Danes finally surrendered. The survivors of their army fled the fort and were driven out into the open countryside. No one dared pursue them for fear of becoming trapped between enemy armies. They could only watch as those enemies marched past and disappeared into the distance, heading north for Northumbria.
“Good work today,” said Aethelflaed to Aethelstan as she walked among the wounded. “It is my pleasure to reward you with some wine.”
“Thank you, your majesty. I’ve never tasted such good ale in all my life,” replied the English king.
They passed among the groups of men, passing a jug of beer or a cup of mead to each. They laughed together and joked with one another. And they talked freely, telling jokes and stories without fear of the ears of Aethelstan’s spies listening nearby.
Aethelflaed looked up and saw Eanred, standing with three of his sons. He smiled at her and bowed politely. “I wish we could stay longer but duty calls us home. We have to return to Northumbria, where there are problems brewing.”
Aethelflaed nodded. “Yes. There has always been trouble there. Your mother knows what she’s doing and will deal with things wisely. But Northumbria will not be safe for you if the Norsemen come again.”
King Eanred looked troubled, his face pensive and troubled. But he gave no further reply to this threat, nor did any other of the leaders who stood near him. Instead, they spoke lightly with one another. But their conversation seemed strained, forced somehow.
As the day grew older and Aethelflaed returned to the palace with her army and the survivors of her garrison, she reflected on these events. She had seen how the gods had blessed her in the defeat of the Danes.
They had sent help to Aethelstan through the efforts of Aethelflaed’s men and her own actions as well. She hoped they would do so again soon enough, for she believed the gods must favor her if they had allowed her to defeat the invaders from the North.
So Aethelflaed prayed for their support, for she knew that only their guidance could save her people.
The End