Two Noble Uncles Drinking to the Beat
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Steve Snozcumber had always loved cozy West Boggins with its unpleasant, unkempt umbrellas. It was a place where he felt sleepy.
He was an articulate, stupid, port drinker with fragile hands and tall toenails. His friends saw him as a mushy, massive muppet. Once, he had even made a cup of tea for a powerless injured bird. That’s the sort of man he was.
Steve walked over to the window and reflected on his damp surroundings. The snow flurried like skipping goldfish.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Jeff Barker. Jeff was a creepy deity with handsome hands and moist toenails.
Steve gulped. He was not prepared for Jeff.
As Steve stepped outside and Jeff came closer, he could see the splendid glint in his eye.
Jeff gazed with the affection of 6742 smart bewildered bears. He said, in hushed tones, “I love you and I want affection.”
Steve looked back, even happier and still fingering the ribbed newspaper. “Jeff, beam me up Scotty,” he replied.
They looked at each other with jumpy feelings, like two flipping, faint foxes singing at a very violent carol service, which had trance music playing in the background and two noble uncles drinking to the beat.
Steve regarded Jeff’s handsome hands and moist toenails. “I feel the same way!” revealed Steve with a delighted grin.
Jeff looked active, his emotions blushing like a good, gloopy gun.
Then Jeff came inside for a nice glass of port.
THE END
Two Noble Uncles Drinking to the Beat #2
The story is about two uncles who are drinking to the beat of the music. One uncle is a retired professor and the other is a retired engineer. They are both in their seventies and have been friends for over fifty years. The professor has been drinking for a while and starts to get drunk. He starts to talk about his life, his family, and his career.
The engineer listens intently as he drinks his beer. The professor talks about how he was never able to find love in his life and how he regrets not having children. The engineer listens with empathy as the professor talks about how he feels like he wasted his life away.
The engineer then tells the professor that he has found love in his life and that he has three children who are all successful adults with families of their own. The professor is surprised by this revelation but also happy for him.
They continue to drink together until they both pass out from intoxication on the couch. The story is about a man who decides he wants to go out for a drink. He walks into the bar and orders a drink. As he does this, the bartender starts to talk about himself and his life story.
The bartender tells the man that he has been working in this bar for six years and has not found love yet. He also talks about how his parents are divorced and that his mom remarried a man who does not treat her well. The bartender also says he has six children, all of whom are successful adults with families of their own.
The more the bartender talks about his life, the more excited the man gets to hear about it.
At some point, they both pass out on the couch from intoxication and sleep in the back room. The following day, the man wakes up, sees that he is penniless, and realizes he has just been robbed by the bartender.
The bartender then tells him that because of his drunkenness and profuse apologies for being a thief, he will give him a second chance to repay him by working at the bar for a month without pay.
The man agrees and starts work at the bar. In one month, the man goes out of his way to impress his boss by finding a doctor for a sick child, donating time and money to charity, helping out at church, etc. His boss begins to trust him more and more with bigger responsibilities.
At the end of the month, he gives the guy a raise. At the end of the month, he tells him that he will give him a second chance to repay him for his generosity, by performing one last task.
The man agrees and starts to work as a bouncer at the club. After working there for several months, he gets stabbed in the back and killed while trying to break up a fight. The boss, not knowing the man’s backstory, writes off the kill as self-defense and fires him for reporting late to work.
The guy starts working at another club in town that night and finds out about his boss’ weakness for new talent.
He tells the new boss that he has a history of fighting and gets hired on. The new boss, realizing that this is a slippery slope, tries to get him in trouble for an existing rule as a way to fire him. For reasons unknown, the guy decides not to follow through with it and continues working.
In another time period, maybe he would have been fired for breaking a rule. The new boss, realizing that this is a slippery slope, tries to get him in trouble for an existing rule as a way to fire him.
For reasons unknown, the guy decides not to follow through with it and continues working. In another time period, maybe he would have been fired for breaking a rule. An employer is entitled to fire an employee who is hostile towards coworkers without violating the employee’s rights to due process.
THE END