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As I was walking lonely down the empty street in the middle of the city I saw a man coming toward me. He was a tall man, with a long face and a long nose, and he was dressed in black.
“Good evening,” he said, as he came up to me. “I am a stranger in this city, and I have lost my way. Can you tell me the way to the nearest inn?”
“I can,” I said. “But I should like to know why you are dressed in black.”
“I am a vampire,” he said. “I must always dress in black, or I will be seen by the sun. But I am not a bad man. I have never hurt anyone. I am a philosopher, and I am on my way to a meeting of philosophers. I have been walking for three days, and I am very tired.”
“Then you had better come with me,” I said. “I am going to the same meeting. I am a philosopher myself, and I am on my way to the same meeting.”
So we went together to the meeting, and we were both admitted. The meeting was held in a large hall, and there were many people there. There were philosophers from all over the world, and they were all discussing the same subject.
“What is the subject?” I asked.
“The nature of the universe,” said the man in black. “That is the subject of the meeting.”
“And what do you think about it?” I asked.
“I think it is very simple,” he said. “The universe is made up of two things: matter and mind. The mind is the thing that thinks, and the matter is the thing that thinks about the mind. The mind is the thing that thinks about the universe, and the universe is the thing that thinks about the mind. That is all there is to it.”
“That is very simple,” I said. “But I don’t understand it.”
“Neither do I,” he said. “But I am a philosopher, and I have been thinking about it for a long time. I have thought about it so much that I have forgotten what it means.”
“I think you are wrong,” I said. “I think that the universe is made up of three things: matter, mind, and God. The mind is the thing that thinks, and the matter is the thing that thinks about the mind. The mind is the thing that thinks about God, and God is the thing that thinks about the mind. That is all there is to it.”
“That is very simple,” he said. “But I don’t understand it.”
“Neither do I,” I said. “But I am a philosopher, and I have been thinking about it for a long time. I have thought about it so much that I have forgotten what it means.”
“I think you are wrong,” he said. “I think that the universe is made up of four things: matter, mind, God, and the Devil. The mind is the thing that thinks, and the matter is the thing that thinks about the mind. The mind is the thing that thinks about God, and God is the thing that thinks about the mind. That is all there is to it.”
“That is very simple,” I said. “But I don’t understand it.”
“Neither do I,” he said. “But I am a philosopher, and I have been thinking about it for a long time. I have thought about it so much that I have forgotten what it means.”
“I think you are wrong,” I said. “I think that the universe is made up of five things: matter, mind, God, the Devil, and the Law. The mind is the thing that thinks, and the matter is the thing that thinks about the mind. The mind is the thing that thinks about God, and God is the thing that thinks about the mind. That is all there is to it.”
“That is very simple,” he said. “But I don’t understand it.”
“Neither do I,” I said. “But I am a philosopher, and I have been thinking about it for a long time. I have thought about it so much that I have forgotten what it means.”
“I think you are wrong,” he said. “I think that the universe is made up of six things: matter, mind, God, the Devil, the Law, and the World. The mind is the thing that thinks, and the matter is the thing that thinks about the mind. The mind is the thing that thinks about God, and God is the thing that thinks about the mind. That is all there is to it.”
“That is very simple,” I said. “But I don’t understand it.”
“Neither do I,” he said. “But I am a philosopher, and I have been thinking about it for a long time. I have thought about it so much that I have forgotten what it means.”
“I think you are wrong,” I said. “I think that the universe is made up of seven things: matter, mind, God, the Devil, the Law, the World, and the Seven Deadly Sins. The mind is the thing that thinks, and the matter is the thing that thinks about the mind. The mind is the thing that thinks about God, and God is the thing that thinks about the mind. That is all there is to it.”
“That is very simple,” he said. “But I don’t understand it.”
“Neither do I,” I said. “But I am a philosopher, and I have been thinking about it for a long time. I have thought about it so much that I have forgotten what it means.”
“I think you are wrong,” he said. “I think that the universe is made up of eight things: matter, mind, God, the Devil, the Law, the World, the Seven Deadly Sins, and the Eight Deadly Sins. The mind is the thing that thinks, and the matter is the thing that thinks about the mind. The mind is the thing that thinks about God, and God is the thing that thinks about the mind. That is all there is to it.”
And so the story went on!
The End