The Mangled Toes
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Mangled toes have been turning up all over Ireland and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a knife, and still, nobody has a clue who the stingy killer is. Mr. Gary Snozcumber is a slim and hilarious navigator with a fondness for playing the piano.
He doesn’t know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the selfish killer. When his husband, Jeff Blackman, is kidnapped, Mr. Snozcumber finds himself thrown into the center of the investigation. His only clue is a peculiar hat. He enlists the help of a remarkable nurse called Tom Thomas.
Can Thomas help Snozcumber overcome his coffee addiction and find the answers before the tight-fisted killer and his deadly knife strike again? Can they rescue their husbands, and uncover the clues to these baffling murders while fighting off an old flame as well as an evil gangster known only by his initials – Big Roddy Dudders?
Well…it’s never that simple, so we’ll see how far the two lads get first…
It was supposed to be her day at last – a big promotion that would secure her future and also give her greater freedom than she’d ever had outside of work hours. It should have been a cause for celebration – if not entirely joyous.
But there were those dark shadows lurking beneath the surface once more; there always were during stressful times, particularly when others around you seemed unaware. Some people got on fine despite life being hard. Not this girl! She wanted nothing other than smooth sailing.
Why couldn’t she simply ignore them like everyone else did?! That would mean no pain, after all. And certainly less stress. So why was everything getting harder now? Why were the voices growing louder inside her head? Wasn’t that what depression meant? What could it matter? Her professional destiny depended upon keeping a calm face even though things went wrong. Right?
She managed through lunch with some difficulty although her colleague Mary Jane kept nodding sympathetically whenever the subject veered towards the usual subjects: weddings (hers), births (‘no grandchildren yet!’) or ill health/retirements (“I hear your mum is doing okay then?”).
And whenever those inevitable little question marks appeared around her eyes it didn’t escape this poor soul’s notice either. In truth, however she tried, thoughts of imminent death crept in to compete with everything else and make matters worse.
Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much otherwise – because even this was causing immense pain today? Or maybe it was just her imagination? After all, everybody dies sooner or later anyway, didn’t they…? Oh, God… Please don’t let me die alone… Not yet!!!
Once back home the rest of the afternoon passed uneventfully enough but, afterward, as she sat with the dog watching the telly, images from earlier sprang to mind – including the bizarre twistiness of its fur on her pillowcase every morning before dawn.
When darkness fell, however, she knew her life had changed forever – for the worst possible reason. The relief was palpable. Here I go! At least somebody cares! A voice echoed inside her brain. Everything will be alright from now onwards…she thought hopefully. My love has come home to stay. Thank goodness!
With each step her footsteps made against the polished floorboards downstairs and up to the bedroom door upstairs she heard something strange but wonderful…The sound of an angel’s singing rose and swelled outside! Despite feeling immensely tired after her day she bounded down the stairs – calling out ‘Hey baby!’ when the lovely tones reached her ears.
Who? There?! Hello baby, you here? Where do you live? Tell us where you’ve been! And thank heavens there wasn’t anyone else living in the house – especially since she lived next door…although she was grateful to discover such heavenly beauty amongst the trees below hers – along with the glorious river flowing beside it.
Life really couldn’t get any better from now on! Would you please put a smile on my face? I’m sorry I messed things up before!
The woman came closer, stepping onto the balcony and the stunning figure of a young man followed her example. The street lights illuminated him magnificently, throwing his long brown hair almost magically behind his shoulders. Without warning, he suddenly hugged her tight and held her aloft until she felt her feet leave the ground. As he kissed her he said:
‘This time you’ll stay!’
Oh! How marvelously beautiful he looked too – with dazzling silver wings as large and sparkling as stained glass. Is he real? That must be what she wondered. Because she knew only angels wore white robes and halos…so why had the word appeared as though scrawled across his skin?!
What happens next? She asked herself excitedly. Will I finally have a good life from now onwards, dear Angel Gabriel?
***
Later she realized exactly when and how things started going awry. Yet still, her thoughts returned time and again to the captivating mystery surrounding a certain aspect of her neighbor’s demeanor…until finally, she found herself unable to ignore whatever was occurring.
Some weeks after that first meeting on the patio she left for work early one Saturday morning without any sort of explanation at all. Halfway through the morning, she discovered a note from her husband informing her that he, the children, and most of all their Labrador had gone camping.
He promised to phone in plenty of detail once they returned home, apparently having spent the previous night trying to locate every kind of creature on the planet!
But he clearly hadn’t managed very well; not after setting off in the wrong direction completely by mistake, forcing them to turn back towards town and the nearest campsite near Stowmarket, instead of the woods several miles further southwest.
Perhaps he should try taking more care before driving any old car wherever he chose to go. If anything went wrong while traveling at speeds above ten mph, however…that might actually save him from losing his life altogether. Could he afford another new insurance policy right now anyway?
Who knows! He certainly won’t find out when he eventually phones, if ever he does return! So be sure you can forgive him, please! Remember that he loves you…just like any normal man would, yes?
Her initial reaction upon reading that message had been furious; and nothing the police could have possibly said or done that afternoon had convinced her otherwise. It had taken over three hours for the officers involved in the search for the missing vehicle to persuade her to join them in locating the whereabouts of her absent husband; after which they began searching for blood-spattered bodies or any evidence whatsoever.
Sadly everything she saw suggested some terrible accident that happened close to home, yet no corpses were found anywhere nearby. In fact, the worst thing she recalled witnessing as dusk arrived that day was her own pet dog being shot dead whilst crossing the road.
Poor old Maggie! She’d loved the animal since they bought her from an advert in the paper years ago…which told me a lot about my ex’s character! Not surprisingly her memory of that fateful summer evening wasn’t entirely pleasant either; so much blood, grime, and misery everywhere.
When it became obvious that none of the remaining residents along the road wanted any part of this investigation, the senior officer finally admitted defeat. None of them offered any useful information for that matter. Instead, the local constable thanked everybody concerned and then took them aside one by one in separate rooms to question them separately.
Despite promising that any who spoke the truth would be protected from reprisals; somehow nobody managed to explain anything related to the events preceding that killing spree.
After returning home alone in tears and waiting impatiently for someone to telephone to tell her something important, their entire household of hers turned itself upside down just like that. Why did my husband always feel entitled to walk away from family commitments whenever he felt bored?
Who the hell does he think he is?! However many times we argued it never stopped him from wanting to run around until he fell flat on his face…all because our lives revolved around those damned children! Still, he deserves a reward for ruining himself and everyone else he cares about – apart from poor Maggie who didn’t deserve any of it at all! What’s going to happen now?
One way or another somebody will get punished for this mess…because there has to be justice, isn’t that so? Otherwise, how could anything be resolved correctly in the future? Don’t bother answering that last question, by the way…
I know better than anyone it already happened…but why do things have to remain unresolved between us forever? Just leave a message if you’re going to ring back later, okay darling? Or am I supposed to play your silly games until you’ve calmed down enough to want to talk properly? Ahhhhhh! Where the bloody hell is he, huh? Dammit! Where could he have gone this time?!
When Sunday night came and nothing more happened than the arrival of the postman ringing the doorbell twenty minutes after sunset, she simply assumed her ex-husband hadn’t gotten lost again as usual but instead finally decided to fulfill his promise to drive off somewhere.
And soon afterward she went to sleep. The whole incident had scared the shit out of her, especially on account of witnessing some terrible accidents involving vehicles; yet she slept like a baby knowing in her heart that his days behind the wheel of an old jalopy were numbered, come what may!
After all, no sooner had she bought her spouse a brand new motorbike with all kinds of shiny equipment on offer even before paying for his latest holiday in France; than it transpired that he only used the bloody thing occasionally if at all.
As expected he blamed his bad luck on other people almost immediately thereafter; claiming the bike needed repairing and fixing firstly, before making it safe for long journeys ahead.
Consequently, she wondered where that expensive ride would vanish next when neither of their kids knew the difference anyway.
Her annoyance towards him soon reached fever pitch having learned through reliable sources that although he’d paid nearly fifty thousand pounds in order to rent the French villa at a cost of ten times that amount, he actually spent most of his leisure time loafing in bed at least until midday while they shared a meal together twice every weekend; even though such behavior went totally against both of their parenting plans. Honestly! Wasn’t he ashamed to make her look good all the time!?
Yet the only one responsible for causing pain and anguish seemed contentedly unaware of the misery caused elsewhere. There must be something wrong with that guy…not that my parents cared enough to do anything about it!
So they let him abuse me endlessly without ever lifting a finger themselves; whereas that kind of nonsense takes place in every home across Britain today. Can’t believe there are still people dumb enough not to see or appreciate reality.
Go figure…oh well. Still…it should teach my partner here something worth learning as regards his own past behavior if he happens to survive intact…? Just wait and hope for the best I guess…Oh dear God please take care of them! Oh, Jesus Christ Almighty save their souls! Please Lord don’t forget little Maggie, too – she’s the innocent victim of my alcoholic father…
After being called at seven o’clock sharp by the police officer, Peter rang Nicola shortly afterward at her mother-in-law’s house. With plenty of trepidation, he was relieved to find she wasn’t hysterical about the matter which seemed strange considering how upset she usually appeared when getting calls about her husband…
Peter reasoned he should stop worrying and concentrate instead on solving the mystery regarding the disappearance.
He also made sure to mention the fact that unless there had been an accident during the previous two nights he couldn’t possibly explain how a vehicle might suddenly disappear into thin air overnight – given he’d taken every necessary precaution, not leaving it parked anywhere until the sun rose the following morning.