Smile For A Lifetime
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“I don’t know if I can do this,” I whispered to myself as I tried to get my breath back.
The two of us had been dancing for almost an hour, and I was pretty sure I’d died five times over by now. I knew I looked like a fool, but I didn’t care. He made me feel alive again. It wasn’t the first time I’d felt that way, but it was the first time I could remember feeling it since my father had left us.
The music slowed, and he pulled me close to him. The sound of his voice calmed me down and helped me focus on him instead of the dance floor. “It’s okay. Just try not to trip over your own feet.”
I laughed at that, but then I suddenly found myself in his arms. He held me against him and swayed to the music. His body pressed into mine, and we moved together as one. I was no expert on dancing, but I did know when I was being kissed.
His lips were soft and gentle as they touched mine. The heat between us grew hotter, and I could feel his desire for me. My hands ran up his back, and I felt the muscles flex under my fingers. The kiss deepened, and I could feel his tongue exploring my mouth. We were both breathing heavily, and the sound of our ragged breaths filled the silence.
I pulled back from him, and we were suddenly standing alone in the middle of the dance floor. He wrapped his arms around me again, and I could feel his heart beating fast. I knew we were both still breathing hard, and I felt his hand brush across my cheek.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered into my ear.
I looked into his eyes, and I could see the sincerity there. He leaned in toward me and kissed me again. I put my hands on his shoulders and pulled him closer to me. The kiss was deeper, and we both moaned into each other’s mouths. His tongue was hot against mine, and I wanted more.
We broke apart after a few minutes, and he was staring into my eyes. He took my hand and led me to the dance floor. There wasn’t much room, so we stood close together and just moved to the music. We were still holding hands, and I felt his fingers run through my hair.
He stopped moving, and I turned to face him. His hand was still in my hair, and he leaned forward to kiss me. The sound of our lips meeting filled the room, and I felt his tongue pressing against mine. Our bodies were pressed tightly together, and I could feel his erection against my stomach.
I pulled back from him and looked into his eyes. “We should stop.”
“Why?”
“Because this is wrong. You’re married, and I’m engaged. It’s not fair to either of us.”
He frowned. “You’re not going to change your mind, are you?”
“No. I can’t do it. Not even for you.”
I took his hand and pulled him away from me. He started to follow, but I put my hand out to stop him. “Wait. Just wait.”
I heard him sigh as he stopped, and I looked at him. “I don’t want to be unfair to you. I know that, and I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I understand. It’s not your fault. I just need to get home before my wife comes looking for me.”
I nodded, and we both watched as he walked away. I watched him until he disappeared through the door, and then I turned around to see who was behind me.
My mother stood there, and she smiled when she saw me. She wore a black dress, and her hair was up in curls. Her eyes were dark, and they were looking at me with amusement. “I thought I’d find you here. It looks like I’ve won my bet.”
I looked down at myself and laughed. I was wearing a simple red dress, and it had been one of my mother’s old ones. It was far too short, and it showed off too much of my legs. My feet were bare, and I could feel the heat of the dance floor on my skin.
“I can’t believe you won. You look like a whore.”
She smiled. “You’re just jealous because you couldn’t have your way with him.”
“Don’t you dare talk about him like that! He’s not some toy for you to play with.”
Her eyes narrowed, and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Who do you think you are? I don’t care what you think of me. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“No, it does matter. I’m your daughter. If you hurt him, I’ll never forgive you.”
“You can’t keep him from me forever. I know you’re trying to make sure that we don’t have any more children. I won’t let you do that.”
I looked away from her and felt my eyes start to burn. “I don’t want to fight with you, Mom. Please just leave me alone.”
She moved closer to me, and I could see the tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know. I forgive you.”
She stepped back, and I took a deep breath. I could feel the tension leaving my body, and I started to smile.
“I know we don’t get along, but I love you, Mom. You’re still my mom.”
She smiled at me, and her eyes softened. She reached out and touched my cheek. “I know you do. I love you too.”
We both looked down at our shoes as we walked back toward the table, and then I pulled out my chair for her. She sat down, and I put my hand on hers.
“Do you want to dance?”
She nodded and smiled. “Yes. I’ve always wanted to learn.”
“Come on. We can dance together.”
I stood up, and she took my hand. I led her out onto the dance floor, and we started to move to the music. I could feel her body pressed against mine, and I was breathing hard. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I put my hands on her waist.
The song ended, and I looked into her eyes. “I had fun tonight.”
“Me too.”
“Thank you for coming.”
She smiled. “It’s not every day that I get to spend time with you. I had to take advantage of it.”
I looked at her, and I could see the worry in her eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. I just wish that I could be the mother you deserve. I wish that I could give you what you need.”
“I know. But I also know that you can’t help how you feel. Just try to be happy, Mom. You deserve to be happy.”
She smiled, and I saw her eyes fill with tears. She leaned forward and kissed me gently on the lips. “You’re right. I’m going to try.”
I smiled and turned around, and we danced again. This time, I could hear the words to the song.
“I know that you don’t need me,
But I hope you’ll stay awhile,
And if you do, then I’ll be yours.”
***
I walked down the stairs, and I saw a note on the kitchen table. I picked it up, and I read the short message.
“Meet me at the gazebo in the garden. I love you.”
I smiled as I walked outside, and I looked up into the sky. The stars were bright, and I could see the moon hanging low over the horizon. I looked around, and I didn’t see anyone. Then I heard a faint voice call out to me.
“Hello?”
I looked down, and I could see the outline of someone standing on the edge of the gazebo. I was afraid to look down, but I could feel the warmth of the person behind me. I stepped toward the edge and saw a girl who was only about ten years old. She had long, dark hair, and she wore a simple white dress. Her eyes were blue, and they were shining brightly.
“Who are you?”
She smiled at me. “I’m your guardian angel.”
I looked down, and I saw that my hands were holding her small hands tightly. I pulled away from her and smiled at her. “What did you say?”
“I’m your guardian angel. I’ve been watching over you since the day you were born.”
I looked up at the sky and shook my head. “This isn’t real. You’re not really here.”
“No, I’m not. But I want to be. I need you to believe me.”
“Believe you? How can I believe anything when I don’t even know what you look like?”
She looked at me and smiled. “I don’t have a body. I never will. My job is to watch over you, and that’s all.”
“Then how do I know you’re really here?”
“You know I’m here because you can feel me. You can hear me, and you can see me. That’s all that matters.”
I took a deep breath, and I turned back to face the gazebo. She was right. I could feel her presence, and I could hear her words. I looked up into the sky again, and I saw that the moon was no longer there.
“It’s time for me to go.”
I reached out and touched her hand. “Don’t leave. Please stay with me.”
“But I have to. I can’t be here any longer.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not supposed to be here. I’m just passing through. I don’t belong here.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not meant to be here. I’m supposed to be in Heaven, looking after you. But I’m not allowed to be here.”
“Then why are you here?”
“To tell you that I love you. And to ask you to follow me.”
I nodded. “Okay. I’ll follow you wherever you want to go.”
“Good. Then come with me.”
I closed my eyes, and I felt a sudden cold wind blowing through my mind. I opened my eyes, and I could see that I was standing on a rocky path. It was night, and the sky was filled with stars. The ground was covered in sand, and it stretched out endlessly before me. There was nothing else around.
I looked up, and I saw a faint light far above me. I stepped forward, and I could hear the sound of the ocean. I could smell the salty air, and I could feel the breeze coming from the sea. I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks, and I could feel the cool sand beneath my feet.
The light was getting brighter, and I knew that I had to follow it. I looked down, and I could see a small path leading away from the beach. I turned around, and I saw that I was standing on the edge of the cliff. The path led to the base of the rocks, and then it disappeared over the edge. I didn’t know if I should go up or down.
“It’s okay,” she said. “Follow me.”
She took my hand, and we walked slowly up the path. I could see that it was leading upward, but there were no trees or bushes growing anywhere near it. It was a barren, rocky place, and I wondered how I would ever get past it.
We kept walking, and I could feel that I was getting closer to the top. The path seemed to stretch on forever, and I could hear the ocean roaring as it crashed against the rocks below. I looked back at the cliff, and I could see that I was climbing higher and higher. I could see a faint glow coming from the top of the mountain, and I knew that I had to keep going.
Suddenly, the path ended, and I was standing at the edge of a flat stone platform. The entire platform was covered in bright green moss, and the entire thing was glowing softly. I could feel the soft breeze blowing through the air, and I could see that the sky was turning a pale shade of blue.
I looked up, and I saw that I was standing on a giant rock formation. I couldn’t see anything else around me, but I could hear the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks far below.
“Welcome to Heaven,” she said. “I hope you like it here.”
“You’re really here?”
“Yes, I’m really here. I want to show you around.”
“Then let’s go.”
She took my hand again, and we started walking down the path. We climbed slowly, and I could feel the sand beneath my feet. She was right. There was nothing else around me except for the ocean, the rocks, and the sandy ground. I could smell the sea, and I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks.
As we walked, I looked up, and I could see that the sun was starting to rise over the horizon. I could see the sky turning orange, and I could hear the birds singing their morning songs. I could feel the gentle breeze blowing through the air, and I could see that the sun was rising behind us.
“What’s happening?” I asked. “Why are you showing me this?”
“Because I wanted to show you that everything is going to be okay. That the darkness will pass, and the light will return.”
“How do you know that?”
“I have a feeling that I can trust you. And I also know that you’ll help me find my way back home.”
“The one who sent you here? The dark angel?”
“Yes. He’s been calling me, trying to find me. But I don’t think he can anymore.”
“Will you come with me when I leave here?”
“No. I’m not meant to be here any longer.”
“But you won’t go anywhere without me?”
“That’s right.”
She looked at me, and I could see that she was smiling. “Do you remember what I told you about how I got here?”
“Yes. You said that you were trying to escape from something, and you fell into the ocean. You hit your head, and then you floated away. You drifted around for a while, and then you saw the light coming from above.”
“Exactly. It was Heaven.”
I nodded. “And you’re sure that I’ll find my way back if I follow the light?”
“Yes, I’m sure. But only if you try hard enough. You have to believe in yourself, and you have to stay strong.”
“What happens when you die?”
“That depends on whether or not you believe in God.”
“Oh. Will you come with me when I die?”
“Yes, I’ll be there waiting for you.”
We walked a little further, and I could see that we were climbing upward. We had already climbed over a hundred feet, and I could feel that I was getting closer to the top.
“So what will happen when I get to the top?” I asked.
“I’ll show you.”
I looked up, and I could see that we were getting close to the top of the rock formation. I could see that we were almost to the very top, and I could see that I was climbing higher and higher. I could see the sky turning a bright shade of blue, and I could hear the birds singing their morning songs.
Suddenly, the platform came to an end, and I was standing at the edge of a flat stone platform. The entire platform was covered in bright green moss, and the entire thing was glowing softly. I could feel the soft breeze blowing through the air, and I could see that the sky was starting to turn a pale shade of blue.
“Welcome to Heaven,” she said. “I hope you like it here.”
“You’re really here?”
“Yes, I’m really here. I want to show you around.”
“Then let’s go.”
She took my hand again, and we started walking down the path. We climbed slowly, and I could feel the sand beneath my feet. She was right. There was nothing else around me except for the ocean, the rocks, and the sandy ground. I could smell the sea, and I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks far below.
As we walked, I looked up, and I could see that the sun was starting to rise over the horizon. I could see the sky turning orange, and I could hear the birds singing their morning songs. I could feel the gentle breeze blowing through the air, and I could see that the sun was rising behind us.
The End