Sandie McCallister and the Three Kind Pigeons
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Once upon a time, there was a selfish boy called Sandie McCallister. He was on the way to see his Katy Thornhill when he decided to take a shortcut through Stinkville Forest.
It wasn’t long before Sandie got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he fell into his bag for his favorite toy, Piglet, but Piglet was nowhere to be found! Sandie began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Piglet. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a kind pigeon dressed in a pink t-shirt disappearing into the trees.
“How odd!” thought Sandie.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed pigeon. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Sandie reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from carrots, a house made from lollipops, a house made from toffees, and a house made from toffees.
Sandie could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
“Hello!” he called. “Is anybody there?”
Nobody replied.
Sandie looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else’s chimney. Obviously, it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Sandie a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Piglet!
“Piglet!” shouted Sandie. He turned to the witch. “That’s my toy!”
The witch just shrugged.
“Give Piglet back!” cried Sandie.
“Not on your nelly!” said the witch.
“At least let Piglet out of that cage!”
Before she could reply, three kind pigeons rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Sandie recognized the one in the pink t-shirt that he’d seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognize him too.
“Hello Big Pigeon,” said the witch.
“Good morning.” The pigeon noticed Piglet. “Who is this?”
“That’s Piglet,” explained the witch.
“Ooh! Piglet would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!” demanded the pigeon.
The witch shook her head. “Piglet is staying with me.”
“Um… Excuse me…” Sandie interrupted. “Piglet lives with me! And not in a cage!”
Big Pigeon ignored him. “Is there nothing you’ll trade?” he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, “I do like to be entertained. I’ll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door.”
Big Pigeon looked at the house made from toffees and said, “No problem, I could eat an entire house made from toffees if I wanted to.”
“That’s nothing,” said the next pigeon. “I could eat two houses.”
“There’s no need to show off,” said the witch. Just eat one front door and I’ll let you have Piglet.”
Sandie watched, feeling very worried. He didn’t want the witch to give Piglet to Big Pigeon. He didn’t think Piglet would like living with a kind pigeon, away from his house and all his other toys.
The other two pigeons watched while Big Pigeon put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
“I’ll eat this whole house,” said Big Pigeon. “Just you watch!”
Big Pigeon pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from lollipops. He gulped it down smiling and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Pigeon started to get bigger – just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more forkfuls of lollipops, he grew to the size of a large snowball – and he was every bit as round.
“Erm… I don’t feel too good,” said Big Pigeon.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He’d grown so round that he could no longer balance!
“Help!” he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Pigeon never finished eating the front door made from lollipops and Piglet remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
Average Pigeon stepped up and approached the house made from toffees.
“I’ll eat this whole house,” said Average Pigeon. “Just you watch!”
Average Pigeon pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from toffees. She gulped it down smiling and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Pigeon started to look a little queasy. She grew greener…
…and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. “What’s this bush doing here?” he asked.
“I’m not a bush, I’m a pigeon!” said Average Pigeon.
“It talks!” exclaimed the woodcutter. “Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I’d better take it away before somebody gets hurt.”
“No! Wait!” cried Average Pigeon, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the pigeon away under his arm.
Average Pigeon never finished eating the front door made from toffees and Piglet remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
Little Pigeon stepped up and approached the house made from toffees.
“I’ll eat this whole house,” said Little Pigeon. “Just you watch!”
Little Pigeon pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from toffees. He gulped it down smiling and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Pigeon started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating toffees for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off propelled Little Pigeon into the sky.
“Aggghhhhhh!” cried Little Pigeon. “I’m scared of high…”
Little Pigeon was never seen again.
Little Pigeon never finished eating the front door made from toffees and Piglet remained trapped in the witch’s cage.
“That’s it,” said the witch. “I win. I get to keep Piglet.”
“Not so fast,” said Sandie. “There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house is made from carrots. And I haven’t had a turn yet.
“I don’t have to give you a turn!” laughed the witch. “My game. My rules.”
The woodcutter’s voice carried through the forest. “I think you should give him a chance. It’s only fair.”
“Fine,” said the witch. “But you saw what happened to the pigeons. He won’t last long.”
“I’ll be right back,” said Sandie.
“What?” said the witch. “Where’s your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Piglet back.”
Sandie ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small campfire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from carrots and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Sandie sat down on a nearby log.
“You fail!” cackled the witch. “You were supposed to eat the whole door.”
“I haven’t finished,” explained Sandie. “I am just waiting for my food to go down.”
When Sandie’s food had been digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from carrots. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace and then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Sandie was down to the final piece of the door made from carrots. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Sandie had eaten the entire front door of the house made from carrots.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. “You must have tricked me!” she said. “I don’t reward cheating!”
“I don’t think so!” said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his ax. “This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Piglet or I will chop your broomstick in half.”
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Sandie hurried over and grabbed Piglet, checking that his favorite toy was all right. Fortunately, Piglet was unharmed.
Sandie thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Katy. It was starting to get dark.
When Sandie got to Katy’s house, he threw her arms around him.
“I was so worried!” cried Katy. “You are very late.”
As Sandie described his day, he could tell that Katy didn’t believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
“What’s that?” asked Katy.
Sandie unwrapped a doorknob made from lollipops. “Pudding!” he said.
Katy almost fell off her chair.
The End