Ocean Woman
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“What are you thinking, child?” asked Lady Dennys. “You’re not going to say anything about that man? You won’t tell us?”
The old lady was sitting on the settee and looking at me anxiously. I shook my head as I smiled at her. “I didn’t even know you had any sisters,” she said with a little sigh of relief, patting her hand over the back of her neck. “But now that it’s all out in the open—oh, we’ll have such fun!”
“It’s very kind of you to come down and see me,” I remarked. She nodded at my reflection in the mirror as if to ask when I’d be ready, which surprised me for a moment until I saw she was smiling.
She was always so quick and bright-eyed! It wasn’t easy to keep up with her…but I think that was why I enjoyed being with her so much. There was always something new in our talks together. I could never tell what would amuse her. Her eyes sparkled and danced with amusement, and then there were times when I felt almost ashamed of how dulled our conversation must have been without her.
“Now you’ve got some ideas in your head,” she declared, leaning back against the chaise lounge. “Go on, do you remember your dreams last night?”
“Oh dear, no,” I laughed. “And you can’t imagine what an awful shock it is to hear you talking about the weather.” I turned around to look at her with surprise.
“Well, yes—that’s why I’m so happy to see you again,” I said as I pulled away from the mirror. “I thought you weren’t going to visit me this summer?”
The older lady patted my hand fondly on the back of my hand. “Don’t fret, child, I’m sure there’s nothing wrong,” she insisted. She stood up quickly. The sunlight was shining through the window and making her face appear rosy and young.
I knew it wasn’t possible that she was only seventy years old—she looked at least fifty more. “You’ve got a wonderful imagination,” she said to me, but I couldn’t make out whether she was teasing or serious. She gave me her usual sly little smile before she left, waving goodbye with her thin fingers.
We were having such pleasant times together; I was so glad to see her and hear the sound of her voice! When I returned to our room I found it just as I’d left it. Everything still looked clean and neat, and the fire was burning merrily in the grate.
My dressmaker arrived shortly after to take up her sewing, but I was too restless to stay long enough to have my hair done. I took off my gloves and sat by the window with the curtains thrown wide.
I’d forgotten how lovely the room was, with its deep blue wallpaper, and my gaze was caught by the glass of water on the dressing table, reflecting the image of the garden. A strange feeling came over me, and as I watched Lady Dennys looking out at it from the other side of the parlor I felt suddenly sadder than I’d ever felt before.
We were two different people—her and I—and yet, I knew, we shared so much more than just one day together each year.
“How lovely!” exclaimed Miss Winton as she entered the room with a trayful of tea things. “I hope I shall see you again soon. And when are you leaving?”
I glanced up and smiled at her. Her dark eyes seemed to hold a lightness that hadn’t been there before, and her lips were turned into a small smile. I wondered how she could possibly enjoy being there when she was surrounded by servants. Then again, there was probably nothing unusual about that, for most girls spent their days among maids and footmen.
My thoughts wandered back to my friend’s sister, who was also staying with them. The old lady’s daughter, she was the same age as me, and I’d met her many times during her visits. It was strange to be sitting next to my own reflection in the mirror and yet see someone else besides it.
I thought of Mrs. Winton’s daughter, who was so unlike me, and her face looked so familiar to me that I began wondering if perhaps she really did look like me…
I tried to smile back at her. “You’ll be here next week, right?” I said, and then I felt my cheeks warming. “Is it true that your brother wrote a letter to Father saying that he wanted his inheritance put directly in trust for you?”
She frowned slightly, and I knew she was trying to figure out how best to answer this question. Her brows twitched upward, and I saw the corner of her mouth lift ever so slightly. “Yes,” she said finally. “But please, don’t tease me about it,” she added quietly. “He’s been very sick these past few months.”
“Of course, I won’t,” I murmured.
She nodded, but her eyes betrayed how uncomfortable she was with this conversation. I looked away, suddenly feeling shy again because she was looking so lovely today with her brown hair curled loosely around her neck. I wondered if she was the girl she’d described, with a round, rosy face, large blue eyes, and a dimpled chin.
But why didn’t she seem frightened of my presence? Did she think the same way as her mother had thought? Or was it something else? What was the secret that she was hiding? She’d never let me get close enough to ask.
Her voice interrupted my thoughts: “I am sure you will be delighted when you come home tomorrow evening—there’s a new girl who has just joined the staff.”
My eyes went wide, and I looked up to find her watching me intently. She was smiling—and I was sure she had guessed my real purpose in coming there.
I nodded. “That would be nice!” I said, and my face must have shown my genuine delight because she laughed.
After I had finished my meal and was washing up, the door opened to reveal my maids and Mrs. Dennys herself returning. They brought in a large bouquet of flowers from the garden.
“It is a shame that the weather has not been good lately, for it seems to have made everything grow so slowly,” she said. “The flowers are all a little withered. Oh, dear—”
And then she gasped as her eye fell on the window. There was a figure sitting outside the window, and she drew back in surprise. “What a pity it must have happened!” she cried as she saw us.
Mrs. Winton and I both stared in amazement at the young lady seated there, her hands folded neatly on her lap.
***
A short time later, I was standing in my chambers, listening to them talk while I dried my hair. My maids helped me dress, and I pulled off my dressing gown and stood naked before the mirror.
The sun had set long ago, but a warm glow still hung in the air. When I took a moment to glance down, I saw the faint outline of my body, outlined by moonlight through the glass. For some reason it made me feel quite exposed. In a daze, I heard my maids’ voices fade behind me, and then Mrs. Winton entered, closing the door.
My maids and Mrs. Winton stood silently beside the wardrobe, where they had laid out my clothes.
“Your sister is coming to visit tomorrow. She’s going to meet your mother before lunchtime,” said Mrs. Winton.
“I see.” I couldn’t help but smile faintly. It was so strange that I’d seen her sitting in that window seat.
“I know that I should tell you this earlier, but…” Mrs. Winton hesitated and seemed almost reluctant to speak. “I’ve decided that we shall stay with our family for dinner tonight.”
“Oh?” I said blankly. It wasn’t what I expected her to say. And yet I knew why she’d done it.
“Yes, dear,” she went on after a pause. “We have no excuse now for leaving you alone with Mr. Darcy.”
“Yes,” I whispered, and I could hear that my tone sounded somewhat surprised. Was my face as blank as hers was?
I felt myself blushing as I turned away from the mirror. I heard a rustle of fabric behind me and looked over my shoulder to see Mrs. Winton watching me with an expression I couldn’t read.
There was a brief silence, and then she sighed softly. “Do you mind?” she asked abruptly, and I shook my head. I couldn’t help smiling as I watched her walk into my bedchamber. She sat down at my dressing table and began to brush out her hair. As she did so, the scent of lavender drifted toward me.
“No,” I said.
When my maids had gone, I slipped my dressing gown over my shoulders, and I stood up from the chair, letting it fall off my arms. Standing there, I felt a sudden surge of excitement.
I walked across to my bedside table. I picked up a piece of paper and wrote three words. Then I folded the letter and placed it inside my pocket. I glanced at the clock. It was only ten past six. I had more than two hours till I was due back in the library.
“Well, here’s a message for you, Mr. Darcy.” A few seconds later, a knock sounded at the door, and a maid came in bearing a bouquet. Her smile widened as I smiled at her.
I left early in the afternoon, having packed the night before. By the time I reached the house, it was dark. The sky was filled with stars, and the light of torches shone upon the grounds. My eyes went wide when I stepped out of the carriage: Elizabeth’s bedroom was lit with candles that were burning brightly.
There was no sign of anyone around. But as I stood there, looking at her room, I felt a sense of foreboding; something about her appearance told me that I shouldn’t linger in there, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to leave.
The next morning, my arrival at Pemberley House was met with curiosity from several people who recognized me—which was surprising considering how rarely I ever saw visitors there. As I entered, I saw Mrs. Darcy waiting for me near the entrance, wearing a white dress that matched mine. She smiled broadly as she caught sight of me and held up a bunch of red roses for me to take.
The End