I Dream Without Fear
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It was not quite two weeks before he would take up his abode at the home of Mr. and Mrs. John Farrow in Kansas that Thomas left Rockford, Illinois, where he had spent most of his time since leaving Boston, for New York City.
It was not an easy thing to leave Rockford, with its associations of a pleasant youth and happy school days; but there were many reasons for going into the city, and he knew he was making no mistake when he went westward instead of south or northward.
He did not look back as he rode away from Rockford on one of the early trains. When he reached the great metropolis he walked down Broadway until he found his hotel—The Hotel Metropole.
The streets seemed to him crowded, the houses large and splendid; they looked like palaces, each one competing with the next in magnificence. His heart beat faster as he entered the lobby of his new home, which he had chosen out of all others.
Then he went upstairs by elevator to the top floor where he had booked a room overlooking Central Park. He could see it clearly through his window. As soon as he arrived he put his luggage inside the door and took the small valise with him to the window where he opened it.
In another minute he was standing on the balcony looking down at the park. There was something about this view that made him feel more at home than in any other place. He stood and gazed at the trees, shrubs, flowers, grasses, ponds, streams, ducks, geese, deer, squirrels, pigeons, rabbits, cats, dogs, and children playing on the lawns.
All around him were people walking, jogging, sitting in groups talking, reading books, or watching their own pets play. The air was filled with sweet smells of nature and the hum of birds and insects. To Thomas, it was like being home again after an absence of years.
“What a wonderful country!” he muttered aloud. “There’s nothing like this in Rockford.”
After staring at the park awhile longer, he returned to his room. A short while later he dressed in a suit of clothes he had bought before leaving Rockford. He then called for the key of his room. After unlocking it, he sat down in front of the desk on which lay the note addressed to him by a woman named Kate Larkin.
It was not long after noon. He had no plans yet for what he intended to do; so he waited patiently until he got hungry enough to get lunch at one of the restaurants nearby. By the time he finished eating, he felt ready to go forth in search of his new life.
He found Mrs. Farrow in her office in the house on Lexington Street, and she told him he could spend his last night with them before starting for Kansas. “Then tomorrow I’ll send you off by freight train,” she said with a laugh.
She had not seen Tom since he was a boy, and she could not understand why he had changed so much since then. But it didn’t matter. She would be very pleased to have him stay with her family until she sent him on ahead of them.
Tom went with her to the station to watch her son John board the big express train bound for San Francisco. Then he came back to his rooms and began unpacking his valise. The next morning he awoke refreshed and eager.
He went downstairs with his trunk, took the elevator down to the first floor, and stepped out onto Lexington Street. He stopped abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk as if he had suddenly remembered some duty or forgotten something.
Then he turned back quickly toward his hotel. When he arrived there, he asked to see a telegraph operator. With the receiver between his lips, he wrote out a message for his aunt in Massachusetts: “Come to Kansas as fast as possible! Tell my mother I love her—and I’ll be back.” Then he gave the receiver to the clerk who brought it upstairs to his room.
A few minutes later the telegram arrived at his uncle’s house in New York. Thomas read it over twice before writing an answer. His handwriting was not easy to decipher, but his meaning was clear enough. It said simply, “Be here by tomorrow morning at the latest!”
When Tom heard the bell ring he jumped from his bed. His uncle and Mrs. Farrow were coming downstairs, bringing with them his aunt, Alice Bannister. They all came up to his room together to greet him with warm smiles.
For nearly five years they had been wondering if they would ever see him again. They had wondered whether he was alive, dead, married, or single. Now that they saw him with their own eyes they could not help but rejoice that he was well. It was only a short while later that his uncle sent them to the dining room.
Mrs. Farrow had prepared a special meal for Tom, and he ate it without hesitation or comment. While the three of them were seated at the table, his uncle told Tom the sad news about his parents’ death. He also mentioned that he now owned most of the stock in the newspaper company.
Tom was not surprised; he knew his father would not allow a competitor to come between them. “I’m going to build another factory,” he explained. “I’ve already hired a lot of men for this work.”
They talked until late that night, and it did not take long for Tom to tell them everything that had happened since he left home. The next day when Alice came down with her son, David, to say goodbye, Tom kissed them both goodbye.
Then his uncle took him to the railroad station to see him off. At that moment Tom felt like a stranger and a vagabond; but by the time they reached the platform where the train was waiting to depart, he felt as if he were returning home.
The train was filled with passengers. They had to wait nearly ten minutes before they got aboard; and once on board the train, the conductor directed them toward their seats. He gave them their tickets and made sure each one was properly seated.
There were many empty seats available. Tom had a window seat near the front of the train; so his view wasn’t obstructed by anyone sitting in front of him. And since there were no other travelers traveling together, he got a seat all to himself.
This was one of the advantages of having money; even though others might feel uncomfortable sharing a compartment with him, he didn’t mind being alone.
In the morning after breakfast, the train left Chicago and continued westward. It soon picked up speed and traveled rapidly. It left the plains behind and began to climb into the foothills of the Rockies. That afternoon Tom stood outside the smoking car and watched the green prairie roll out below the windows, spreading out like a wide expanse of rich brown grass.
It was early evening when they reached Laramie. The train stopped in a small town along the banks of the Platte River. From there Tom caught a freight train to Cheyenne. The next morning he boarded another train bound for Denver. By lunchtime, he had arrived in Denver and taken a taxi cab to his uncle’s business office.
“I’m back!” Tom declared as he entered the room with his valise. “I brought a wife along, too!”
His uncle looked at his wife with concern. She smiled and nodded at him, saying, “That’s wonderful news! We’re both glad to have you home.”
He then took Tom aside and spoke quietly as if trying to warn him not to speak hastily. But Tom had nothing but praise for Mrs. Farrow and she returned it. They sat together at the table talking over old times when Tom suddenly remembered something. “By the way, what’s become of my brother? Did he go back home?”
His uncle shook his head. “No, he stayed here with me.”
Tom turned red. “Oh, I forgot.”
After dinner, Tom went straight to the hotel. He asked his uncle to send for Edward Bannister so that they could talk for a few minutes before the two brothers met.
Edward was surprised to see Tom return so soon, especially since his own return was still uncertain. When the two finally did meet they embraced each other warmly.
“Did you find her?” Tom demanded as he broke away from his hug.
“Yes,” Edward replied. “We’re both pleased. You couldn’t be happier than we are.”
For a moment neither brother could say anything else; then Tom said, “You don’t know how hard it is to leave her behind.”
“Don’t worry; she’ll soon join us here,” Edward promised. “She’s already packed a trunk for herself.”
As Tom stared at his younger brother, it was clear to see how much he resembled their father. Their faces were so similar that only close inspection would reveal that Edward was older by nearly five years.
Both were well built with broad shoulders and muscular legs; but while Tom had a dark complexion, Edward possessed a fair complexion which reminded Tom of his mother. They walked arm in arm and stopped briefly so that they could look back at the city lights.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Edward muttered as if in awe. Then he added, “When I first heard you were coming home, I thought you’d never get back. It seemed impossible you’d ever make it back.”
Tom laughed, “Well, we did.”
“I wish I’d known sooner.” He paused, thinking about his brother’s life in California. “Are you sure she didn’t try to stop you?”
“Nope. Not a chance in the world.”
They talked a while longer before going inside. They ate supper together and afterward the brothers went to the saloon and sat around drinking whiskey. At last they retired to their rooms.
A week later, Tom was married to Mary Jane. His new bride was the daughter of a prominent businessman in Denver who lived in a handsome home overlooking the river. He and Mary Jane moved into the home with her parents and sister.
Mary Jane had grown accustomed to the idea of living in a different place. Her husband’s family treated her with kindness. She felt comfortable being part of a large household where everyone was friendly and helpful. There was no doubt that her life was greatly improved simply because Tom came home.
The marriage ceremony was simple and elegant. Afterward, they rode to an inn near downtown for dinner. They then drove to Laramie, Wyoming, on horseback and spent their wedding night there in a small boarding house.
Two days later Tom took his wife back to Laramie so she could join him. For now, he wanted to take care of some things in Chicago. The couple would be able to live in their own home shortly, but for now, they made do with a spare room in Tom’s uncle’s home.
One day when Tom visited his uncle’s shop and saw a young woman working there, he recognized her as his brother’s wife. “What are you doing here?” he asked, shocked by the unexpected sight of her.
She looked at him with surprise as if wondering why she should be working alongside men. Tom explained that he was looking for work.
Her eyes grew wide. “Why didn’t you tell me you were home? We could’ve been friends before my brother came along.”
“Sorry about that,” Tom said, smiling sheepishly as he tried to explain. “But you know how it was. No one knew I was coming back or that I had a wife, either.”
She smiled. “Well, if I hadn’t come here, you’d surely be married again!”
Tom laughed. “You’re right; I probably would.” He hesitated then asked, “Is your brother home too?”
“No, he stayed behind.”
“Then you haven’t told him yet?”
“Not a word,” she admitted with a guilty expression.
“That must be tough. He has no idea what happened to his brother, does he? Or is he just as dumb as the rest of them?”
She shrugged. “Probably even more so.”
“Well, let me tell you. Don’t worry; I’m not angry that he didn’t send for me.” As Tom spoke he realized that he felt nothing against his brother. He wondered whether Tom had any lingering regrets about leaving him in the mountains. Tom couldn’t help but wonder what he might have missed out on if Edward hadn’t disappeared.
He shook off such thoughts, reminding himself that it was all over now—a long chapter in his life.
After talking with his uncle for a short time, Tom left for Chicago, stopping only at a telegraph office to send a message ahead to warn his brother that he was returning and would soon be visiting his home. He also wrote a note to Mary Jane to assure her that he loved her, then sealed it up. Then he sent it off by wire.
His uncle was happy to see his nephew return, and he gave Tom plenty of work so he wouldn’t need to seek employment elsewhere. It didn’t pay well, but it was enough to get by on. The hours were long and hard, but Tom liked the work as well as the freedom to go about his business as he pleased.
He often worked until late in the evening when he returned to his uncle’s house. Mary Jane’s new husband was seldom there, which was fine with Tom since she was busy most of the time caring for her parents and sister.
Edward had gone on with his life without Tom and Mary Jane knowing anything about it. Now they were reunited. That thought warmed Tom’s heart. They were finally back together, and that was what mattered. Nothing else seemed important anymore.
***
Mary Jane continued to work in Laramie for a few weeks until the arrival of her mother caused her to quit. Mary Jane and her parents had moved to Chicago where her mother was getting ready to open a new store.
Mary Jane’s father had been a successful businessman in Laramie and had always planned to return to Denver and start a grocery store once Mary Jane got settled in Chicago. He decided that she should move in with her parents so she’d have company while running her new enterprise. Tom agreed to accompany his wife so that he could help his mother settle into the house.
In time, Mary Jane’s parents joined Tom and his mother in their spacious home near the railroad station. Tom was able to find plenty of odd jobs for himself in town, so Mary Jane was free to spend time with her family. Her mother, Helen, was a very capable businesswoman, so the store was doing well. Mary Jane was excited about starting the business for herself.
They still kept up with Edward through weekly letters, although their correspondence stopped altogether after the third letter arrived from Laramie. Neither Tom nor Mary Jane mentioned it to anyone except each other, but their feelings of concern for Edward and what he was doing in Wyoming grew stronger every day.
“I can’t believe that he would do this to us,” Mary Jane remarked in exasperation one night, sitting beside Tom at the dining table. “We did everything we could to make things right between us. We forgave him, but he hasn’t forgiven us.”
“Maybe he thinks he’s protecting you by staying away,” Tom suggested quietly.
“That makes no sense. If I needed protection from him, I’d never be afraid of telling him about my whereabouts! And how could he think he can hide forever? How would he ever find someone who knows where he is? It doesn’t matter; he can’t keep living like this. He needs help.”
“If he wants help, then let him ask for it. You’ve done your part.”
“Yes, I have.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “But I still don’t understand why he left without saying goodbye.”
“Why are you so upset?” Tom asked. “What difference does it make whether he said goodbye or not? What matters is that we’re together again. Why worry about the past?”
She looked at him, her eyes searching his for an answer to his question. Finally, she sighed in resignation. “You’re right. Of course, he could have written a letter apologizing for leaving us behind. Then maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad.”
“I guess you’re right, ma’am. But it still feels strange. Just imagine how different our lives would have been if he hadn’t run away!”
Mary Jane’s lips twisted with distaste. “It certainly would have made things easier. Maybe it would have taken some of the guilt out of me.”
Tom reached for her hand, then brought it to his lips. Then he kissed her palm, caressing the sensitive skin with his thumb. “Now we know better what’s best for us. We can live without him.”
The End