I Dream Of Ocean Waves
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’There is no such thing as an ugly woman. There are only women who have yet to meet me.’ —Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
It was a hot night on the water and the sky had clouded over; the moon was not bright enough for me to see much of anything beyond my own hands and feet. The boat was rocking back and forth in the waves that rolled up from the sea like boulders.
I felt seasick but refused to acknowledge it, determined to prove that I could do this by myself, that I didn’t need anyone’s help—not even mine. It would be easy if you just kept your eyes open, I told myself, if you just keep looking around at everything going on around you.
I was standing up straight in the bow of the boat, holding onto a long oar with one hand, while using the other hand to paddle us forward. My head swam as I tried to look ahead, then behind, trying to spot any signs of land or any sign ship.
We were out in the middle of the ocean somewhere far north of Cape Verdes. If I couldn’t find some way of getting off of this tiny boat soon, I knew there was no way I’d make it through the rest of my voyage without dying. I looked down at the oar in my hand.
This little piece of wood was all that stood between me and death. I gripped it tightly as we moved along under the starry night sky, pushing away from the shore, away from civilization, away from anything I recognized.
The wind blew hard across the water, causing the sailboat to rock violently every time a wave crashed into us. I turned to see how the others were doing, but they were all asleep. They were too tired to even move.
I glanced over at the boy sitting next to me. He had his eyes closed and seemed so peaceful. Maybe he really was dead, and he was dreaming about something nice, maybe being home with his family. I wondered what that must feel like, having someone to come home to when you’re done with your travels.
“You shouldn’t sleep,” I said quietly. “We should try to stay alert.”
He opened his eyes slowly. His dark brown irises reflected the light of the stars.
“What?” he asked groggily. “Where are we? How did we get here?”
I stared blankly at him. Where were we? How did we get here? What the hell did he mean by that?
“How long have we been traveling?” I asked. “Do you know where we are?”
His voice sounded so distant. I felt dizzy. I put my arm around him. He wrapped his arms around me.
“No, I don’t know where we are,” he said softly. “But I think we might be close to our destination. Why don’t we go back to bed until morning? We can ask the captain more questions after sunrise.”
“Are you sure that’s wise?” I asked, pulling away from him. “Shouldn’t we try to figure this out now instead of sleeping on it? Do you want to end up lost at sea forever?”
“Maybe,” he replied. “That sounds better than waking up in a coffin in the ground.”
“So you agree we should keep searching?”
“Yes,” he nodded, still staring at me. “Why else would you wake up in the middle of the night?”
I let out a sigh. “Because I’m afraid I’m going crazy!” I yelled, jumping out of the boat. “And I’m scared! And I’ve never been alone before. I thought you understood that.”
My heart pounded loudly in my chest. The fear was overwhelming. I grabbed hold of the railing and leaned against it, trying to catch my breath. Then I realized that I wasn’t wearing any clothes. I looked down at my bare torso.
It was covered in goosebumps. I quickly pulled my shirt back over my head. Now that I was standing on solid ground again, the world was spinning around me. I stumbled backward toward the boat. I tripped over a rope tied to a post, landing flat on my face.
A wave came crashing over me, soaking my clothes and hair. The cold salt water stung my skin. I shook my head to clear my mind, hoping that somehow, someway, I could pull myself together and find a way out of this nightmare.
Suddenly, I heard the sound of footsteps running across the deck above me. I jumped up to see a man walking past me, heading down the stairs toward the cabin.
“Hey! Wait!” I called out. “Wait! You have to listen to me! There’s an island just beyond those rocks! Please stop! Don’t go back inside!”
He didn’t hear me. I watched helplessly as he disappeared into the darkness. I picked myself up off of the wet sand and ran to the edge of the dock. The waves crashed against the pilings beneath me, sending splashes of water spraying up over the side of the dock. I saw the small shape of another man moving away from the ship. He stopped suddenly, and I froze.
Then he turned and looked directly at me. My stomach dropped to the floor.
***
I took a deep breath. Then I stood straight and walked out onto the pier.
“Who’s there?!” he yelled. “Show yourself!”
“It’s me, Peter,” I shouted back. “Please don’t leave!”
There was no response. I continued walking forward. Suddenly, he started laughing. He pointed toward the sky, and then he started running toward me. He threw his hands up in front of his face and laughed harder.
“What is wrong with you?!” I screamed. “Don’t run! Stay still! Listen to me!”
As he approached, I could tell that he was naked as well. His skin glistened in the moonlight, and I could see a trail of blood dripping down his leg. I reached out for him, but he pushed me away.
“Stop!” he cried. “Get away from me!”
“Let me help you!” I pleaded. “You need medical attention!”
He brushed past me and rushed toward the ship. I followed behind, struggling to keep up with his fast-moving body. When we got closer, I could smell the foul odor coming from his wound. Blood soaked his pants legs, leaving a trail along the wooden planks. As he passed through the door, I tried to grab hold of him, but he pulled away.
“What happened to you?” I gasped, reaching out for him again. “Did someone attack you? Is that what you’re bleeding from? Was it the monster?”
“The monster?” he repeated, turning around and looking at me. “What do you mean?”
“Where did you get hurt? What happened?”
He glanced around nervously, almost like he was expecting to see something. Then he sat down on the deck next to the captain’s chair. I noticed that he was trembling.
“Tell me what happened!” I demanded.
“I went ashore earlier tonight,” he began. “I found this cave on the other side of the island, and I decided to explore it. I climbed down these steep steps, and when I got to the bottom, I realized that I was in some sort of cavern. Everything was black and white—like a painting or something. I felt around, and I bumped into something. I couldn’t figure out what it was until it moved.”
“A statue?” I asked. “Like a guardian angel? Maybe one of the sailors left it here as a memorial?”
Peter shook his head. “No. That doesn’t make sense. They wouldn’t leave anything important down there.”
“How were you able to climb all the way down there without being attacked by the monster?” I questioned.
“That’s where things started to go crazy,” he replied. “When I touched it, the statue started talking to me. It said that it had been waiting for me for a long time. And then it told me that I needed to come with it to its lair. But I’m not sure if I should believe it.”
“Believe what?” I asked. “Why would you want to come with it anyway? Why are you so afraid? You must know that the monster will kill you if it catches you.”
He sighed. “Yes,” he answered. “But the statue seemed sincere. Like it really wanted my help.”
“So you listened to it?” I asked.
He nodded. “Well, I didn’t exactly listen to it, per se. I didn’t understand what it was saying very well. I just knew that I was supposed to follow it. So I started following it.”
I stared at him incredulously. “And then what happened?” I pressed. “Did the monster find you?”
He hesitated. “Yeah, it caught up to us pretty quickly after I started climbing up the hill. It knocked me off of the path and started chasing me. I lost it somewhere near the top of the cliff. I guess I fell into a ravine or something because when I woke up, I was lying underneath this tree, right outside the ship.”
I stepped closer to him and put my hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay now? Did you get any rest? How bad is your leg?”
“My leg hurts like hell,” he muttered, rubbing the area above his knee. “But I think I can walk. At least I hope so. I don’t have much choice, do I?”
“Of course you do,” I assured him. “We’ll get you fixed up soon enough.”
“Okay,” he responded. He looked around and then added, “Actually, let me ask you something. Are you alone?”
I laughed. “Alone? Of course, I am.”
“Really?” he asked, cocking his head. “Because I thought that I saw two people running back and forth across the beach before I came aboard the ship. Were they trying to escape too?”
“It looks like it,” I admitted. “They ran into the forest, and I haven’t seen them since. We’ve been searching everywhere for them, but we haven’t turned anything up yet.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be so hard on them,” Peter suggested. “I bet they weren’t trying to run away. Maybe they were only trying to hide. After all, what else could they possibly do?”
“You might be right about that,” I conceded. “After all, we’re all going to die out here sooner or later, aren’t we? Even the monsters. The only difference is, maybe the monsters will be kinder than we expect them to be.”
“Maybe,” Peter agreed. “Now that I think about it, I feel like I know this place better than anyone. It’s familiar to me somehow. I wonder why that is.”
***
As we made our way back to the ship, the crew continued to search for the missing sailors. We spent the next few hours scouring the shoreline for any sign of them. We combed through the trees and rocks along the coastline, but nothing turned up.
Eventually, everyone gave up on the search and returned to the ship. By nightfall, the ship was secured, and the men took turns sleeping in shifts to keep watch over the ship. We’d searched the entire island several times over, but we still hadn’t turned anything up. There wasn’t even a trace of the sailors anywhere.
The next morning, the captain called an early meeting to discuss the situation. As usual, I was forced to stand behind the mast during the meeting, but this time, I was also stuck standing outside the circle of men. When I stood there, looking up at the deck from below, I could see every single man sitting there in their chairs—all except one.
I looked up at him as he walked past me. His eyes met mine, and he stopped right beside me, looking down at me. Then he spoke softly to me: “If you’re still alive, I’m glad.”
I couldn’t tell if he meant it figuratively or literally. Either way, I didn’t respond. Instead, I turned and gazed toward the captain, who was speaking with the first mate. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I knew that he was discussing the fate of the sailors who had disappeared overnight.
When the conversation ended, the captain stood and addressed the crew. “Alright, listen up!” he yelled. “For the last few days, we’ve been searching the island for these men. And while we may have found no sign of them, we did stumble upon some other interesting things. Things that I want you all to pay close attention to.”
He paused and then looked up at the mast, where I stood. “I would like to introduce you to a new member of the crew.” He pointed toward me and then said, “This is Lieutenant John Jacob Astor IV. Lieutenant, please come forward.”
I shuffled awkwardly out of the corner of the ship and climbed up the rope ladder until I reached the deck. Once I was out of the shadows, I walked slowly toward the circle of men, keeping my eye on the first mate. As soon as I was within earshot of the captain, I heard him say, “Lieutenant, would you mind telling us exactly how many survivors we have left?”
“Yes sir,” I answered, thinking fast. “There are approximately forty-six survivors remaining on board the ship, including myself. That number includes both officers and enlisted personnel.”
“What do you mean by ‘included?'” the captain demanded.
I hesitated before answering. “Including the three men who went missing last night.”
A murmur went through the crowd as the captain listened intently. He seemed to chew on each word that I spoke as though it tasted awful. Finally, when I finished talking, he nodded his head once. “Good,” he finally said. “And where is this man you speak of, Lieutenant? How did you find him?”
“Well,” I began. “Last night, I noticed a small group of men hiding between some rocks near the edge of the island. They appeared to be preparing for something.”
“Preparation for what?” the captain interrupted.
“For the monster attack,” I replied. “Or at least that’s what I assume they were doing.”
“And just how did you determine that?” the first mate asked.
“Well, sir, I saw them moving around the rocks very carefully and quietly. At one point, one of them fell off the rock face and rolled onto the beach. Luckily, he managed to land without being seen. But after that, I realized that he was dead.”
At this, the crew collectively gasped. For a moment, the silence was so loud that it hurt my ears. Everyone stared at me, waiting for me to continue. The first mate glared at me as though I’d done something wrong. After a long pause, he eventually spoke again. “How did you manage to sneak up on those men?” he demanded.
“They weren’t sneaking, sir,” I answered. “It was obvious that they were trying to hide. They must have known that I was coming. Or else why would they go to such great lengths to avoid discovery?”
The crew continued to stare at me, and I felt a wave of anxiety wash over me. I wondered whether they were angry at me because I hadn’t killed the man. I tried to imagine what they might be feeling inside; I tried to guess how they thought about me now, considering what I had done. Was I still considered a hero or a murderer? A traitor?
“That’s enough questions, Lieutenant,” the first mate said. “Let’s move on. What else can you tell us about these men you encountered?”
My heart thumped against my chest as I took another step closer to the circle of men. This time, I made sure to stay well away from the first mate. “They had weapons,” I said. “Knives and swords, mostly. But there also appeared to be an assortment of different items in their possession.”
“Such as?” the first mate pressed.
I hesitated briefly before responding. “Some sort of leather pouch,” I explained. “It was filled with metal objects. Some of which looked like coins. Others resembled knives and swords.”
The captain turned his attention back to the first mate. “Anything else, Lieutenant?”
“No sir,” I answered. “But I think I know who they were. I believe that they’re pirates. Pirates who attacked the ship.”
I could see that I was correct in my assumption. Even though the crew was silent, I could sense that everyone was thinking hard about the situation. All eyes turned toward the first mate, who stood silently in the center of the circle.
Then, after several seconds of quiet contemplation, the first mate responded. “You may be right, Lieutenant,” he admitted. “But let’s not jump to conclusions yet. We need more evidence than simply your word alone. Let’s hold off on any judgment until we’ve gathered all the facts together.”
Everyone murmured in agreement, and then the first mate called for the men to return to work. With that, the men started climbing down the ropes, leaving me alone with the first mate.
“Now, Lieutenant, what happened next?” the first mate asked.
I told him everything that I remembered about the incident. From the way that the men moved to the way that they talked, I described everything I knew about them. When I finished, the first mate leaned forward in his chair, looking me in the eye.
“Do you remember anything else about those men?” he asked.
“Not really,” I answered. “Except for one thing. One of them wore a necklace.”
“A necklace?” the first mate repeated. “Of what?”
“A wooden carving of a bird,” I explained. “It was carved out of a single piece of wood and painted blue. It had feathers along its neck and wings, but no other details. And it didn’t appear to be wearing a shirt, so I don’t know if it had any markings on the front of its body or not.”
The first mate nodded slowly as I spoke, and he seemed to take my description in. Then he turned to look at me, and he spoke softly. “That sounds very similar to what we found on board the ship. You say that you saw two of them?”
“Yes, sir,” I confirmed. “Two of them came aboard the ship, and they both wore the same kind of necklace. One of them wore it on his left side, while the other wore it on his right. So it appears that they were likely brothers.”
The first mate paused for a moment. He appeared to be deep in thought as he studied my face, and he shook his head slightly as though he couldn’t quite grasp what I was telling him. Finally, he looked up again.
“This is strange, Lieutenant,” he finally remarked. “Why would they be wearing the exact same necklace? Why would they come aboard our ship dressed in identical clothing?”
He glanced around the room, and when his eyes landed on me, they narrowed. “Were they acting strangely at all? Did either of them seem… different than normal?”
“Different?” I echoed. “Likely, yes. Both of them acted rather strange. I don’t think either one of them realized that I was even there since they both kept moving behind the bulkhead, trying to hide from me.”
The first mate frowned as he listened, and I could almost see the gears turning inside his brain as he thought through what I’d told him. Eventually, he reached a decision.
“Very well,” he declared. “We’ll have to keep this information to ourselves for now. But you did good, Lieutenant. Very good. Now go get some rest.”
As I stepped away from the group, the first mate stopped me. “Lieutenant,” he said, “one final question: Do you remember what day of the week this occurred?”
“What day of the week, sir?” I replied.
“Exactly,” the first mate answered. “And do you know the time?”
I hesitated. The truth was that I didn’t know the answer.
“Sir?” I asked. “Is there something wrong with the date?”
“Nothing wrong with it, Lieutenant,” he assured me. “It just seems odd that you should forget such an important detail. That’s all I meant by asking.”
With that, he dismissed me, and I walked quietly over to where the sailors were gathering their gear. As soon as I approached them, one of them took notice of me, and he quickly began to whisper to another man nearby.
“Hey!” one of them exclaimed loudly. “Did you hear the lieutenant’s story?”
The other sailor nodded eagerly. “Yeah, I heard it! What are they gonna do about it?”
“Well…” the first sailor started hesitantly, “the captain wants us to stay here for another day. To make sure nothing happens.”
Both of the sailors looked worried, but neither one of them showed any signs of being particularly scared. They simply stared at me and waited for me to explain myself further.
“So,” the second sailor added, “that means we’re stuck here until tomorrow. At least.”
The first sailor sighed deeply as he considered what I’d told him. “Damn,” he muttered. “You think they’re gonna catch ’em?”
“Probably,” the other sailor replied. “They’ve got every sailor out searching for ’em. They wouldn’t waste that many men if they weren’t looking for somebody.”
“Well,” the first sailor stated, “they better find them before tonight. If they don’t, then I’m going back home.”
“Are you serious?” the other sailor asked.
“Hell yeah,” the first sailor affirmed. “My family needs me, and I ain’t gonna let them down. I’m gonna go help the captain track down these thieves. Maybe I can find them and bring them in myself.”
“Good luck,” the second sailor told him.
The End