Heart Shaped Bong
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It was noon when the last of the men returned from the mine. It had been a short day with only about two hours underground, and they were all tired from the effort it took just to get there—the long walk on the trail leading out of town, the horse ride back down the hill, then climbing the steep incline to get over the ridge.
The sun beat down mercilessly that afternoon as Ben and the other men sat in their chairs enjoying some shade under one of the few trees.
Ben looked up at the sky and frowned. “Looks like rain.” He stood up slowly so he wouldn’t disturb his wife sleeping on the blanket next to him. A quick glance at her sleeping form confirmed what he already knew—he could wake his wife and leave her here with the horses while he went to check the mine.
But he didn’t want to risk it. Not this time. So he left her where she lay, covered by his coat, and headed for the mine’s entrance. The rain would be a welcome relief after working outdoors for most of the day, but he’d prefer the sunshine before heading home.
“Hey!” It was Jim who called out first; he ran past Ben as soon as he saw him coming. “You’re too slow getting up here today.”
Ben nodded absently. His mind was focused on other matters and not much else registered with him right now.
Jim grinned. “We made some good money down there,” he said. “Almost as much as we got last month. We’ll have enough to put in a little money toward the new mine once we get permission from the bank to do so.”
Ben stopped walking as soon as he stepped onto the trail leading into the mine and walked forward slowly. “Where is everyone?”
“I told you,” Jim answered. “There weren’t any more gold nuggets today.”
That was certainly true. No one had found anything worth taking out of the rock wall that morning, but Jim seemed pleased, and Ben hoped to see something worth collecting later. Maybe by the end of the week, or maybe the end of the month. If not, the next trip might be their last, since the bank would surely close their account once they’d gone through all the money they’d saved in the old mine.
Ben’s frown deepened as he continued to walk up the trail. It wasn’t often a man who came along with such a good eye for finding precious stones inside rocks. And no one had better eyes than Ben himself. But Ben was beginning to doubt there was any gold in this particular mountain. At least, he hoped there still wasn’t when they finally gave up searching.
He climbed the steep incline and entered the mine’s dark interior, stepping carefully over the uneven floor. It felt so much cooler when he reached the center of the cave. The tunnel walls curved away overhead as far as he could see in either direction. Ben had never gotten used to the narrow tunnels that twisted around corners, leaving him feeling claustrophobic and vulnerable at times.
They’d worked there a year already; how many months until spring? Would they even need a winter job again once the weather warmed up? Or did he plan to stay in this mining business forever? He’d been thinking lately of giving up his profession.
There are other ways I can help my family besides working in that hole every day. He’d thought about opening a mercantile store, but he couldn’t find a partner to help him finance his venture. Then there were other possibilities.
But what if he didn’t find any more gold nuggets before the bank closed their account? What would he do then?
A faint light caught his attention ahead of him. The others had lit lanterns and hung them from the ceiling. The yellow glow illuminated a large chunk of stone, and he stared at it with narrowed eyes, hoping to see an ounce or two of gold shining underneath.
“There!” Jim pointed toward the wall. “Look—a real gold nugget.”
Ben moved closer. The piece of rock was big enough to hold easily in his hand, and it glistened with a dull sheen. But there wasn’t anything unusual about the rock itself. It was nothing special, just another worthless piece of rock that probably had no value at all.
“It’s not—” Ben started to say.
“Yes, it is.” Jim picked up the rock with his hand, which caused the rest of them to gather around. “This is the first time we’ve ever found anything worth keeping.” Jim turned it over, showing the other men.
“How much will it bring?” Joe asked hopefully. “Maybe we could use it to start buying equipment for our new mine.”
Ben shook his head and handed Jim back the rock. “Let me see it.”
He knelt down and peered at the object, turning it over, looking for any sign of a seam. After several minutes, he frowned and stood up, shaking his head. “Nothing.”
The others groaned with disappointment. Ben shrugged. “Just let it be,” he said. “We’ll have a better chance at finding something the next time.”
When they returned to town, Ben rode up on a buckboard with his three sons. Joe sat up front with Jim. They both smiled when Ben climbed aboard. “That was a mighty fine trip,” Jim said. “You should have come along with us.”
Ben grinned and took off the miner’s hat and placed it over his heart. He’d only been joking, though Jim had taken him seriously. For once, Jim seemed content with his work, and Ben wanted to see that last. “We’re glad you found something,” he answered.
Joe looked down at the rock in his lap and held it in both hands. “It’s so pretty,” he said. “I wish we had a jeweler here to look at it.”
Jim’s smile faded as he watched his brother. He hadn’t liked seeing Joe holding the rock because it made him think about what was going on behind their father’s back. “What?” he demanded.
Joe lifted the rock to show him. “Do you really think it’s gold?”
His father sighed. “No one has ever found gold inside this mountain,” he explained. “So I don’t know if it’s real.”
“Well, we’ve never seen any gold anywhere else around here either.” Joe shrugged his shoulders, still staring at the stone in his hands. “If I ever find anything like this, then I’m taking it straight to a jeweler in Boston.”
“And if that turns out to be gold, where are you going to spend it?” Jim asked. “Here in this small mining town? You’d probably have to buy your own store, just like Father.”
Joe glanced up at his father, his mouth open as if he were going to say something. But Ben raised his hand, signaling for silence.
Then there was no stopping their mother. She rushed up the steps, her eyes lighting up when she saw Joe holding the rock in his hands. He handed it to her, smiling shyly as she inspected it.
“Why it looks exactly like a diamond,” Mrs. Simpson exclaimed, holding it up to admire.
“I told you it was gold,” Joe said smugly. “You believed me, didn’t you?”
She nodded with an approving nod. “Gold, indeed,” she said. “Now if you’d just found this gemstone in your backyard, you might actually believe in your dreams.”
“Mom!” Joe protested.
“Come away now,” she urged, taking the rock from him and handing it to Jim. “Let me get it cleaned up and have a jeweler take a look at it.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Jim replied. “Thanks, Ma.”
They left their mother to work and went back down the stairs to help unload the buckboard. As soon as the door opened, Ben noticed the change in Jim. His normally friendly demeanor vanished as he stared at the rock in his hand. It almost seemed as if someone had put a curse on him, but Ben couldn’t figure out who or what it could be.
Jim set down the rock and hurried over to where his father had just finished helping a man off the wagon. Ben walked up to him. “Is there a problem?” he asked.
Jim didn’t respond; he just continued watching his mother with a strange expression on his face. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to his father. “Take a look at this.”
Ben took the sheet and unfolded it, wondering why Jim had passed it to him. He scanned the words, and his blood turned to ice when he read them. “Did you write this?” he asked.
Jim nodded slowly before answering. “It’s my journal.”
For a moment, nothing happened. Then Ben felt numb, unable to move until his legs gave out beneath him and he hit the ground hard.
***
When they arrived at the Simpson house late that night, Ben was still reeling over Jim’s admission. Joe and Sam helped him inside, then disappeared into the kitchen while he rested on his bed in the bedroom. The other men had gone home, leaving him alone with his thoughts and his pain. It wouldn’t go away, and the longer he tried to ignore it, the worse it would become.
He picked up the letter and read it again, trying to find some meaning that he wasn’t sure even existed. Maybe it was best to stop fighting, just surrender to God’s will for his life, whatever that might be. If it meant losing a few friends, then so be it. At least there was peace now, even if it was temporary.
His heart ached when he thought of how Jim must be feeling, especially after hearing those two words: “Your secret is safe with us.” Was that supposed to comfort him? No! What good would it do for Jim to know their secret wasn’t being kept from anyone but their parents?
There was a knock on his door and then Joe stuck his head in. “Dad?”
“Yeah.” Ben rubbed a hand over his eyes, not wanting to talk about what Jim had written in his journal. It was clear the other boy hated the way things were between them and he knew it was hurting his brother. But he also understood Jim wasn’t ready to give up on him. And he didn’t want to let his friend down.
“Can we pray together?” Joe asked.
“Sure,” he answered, sitting up, surprised by the question. They hadn’t done any praying since they were boys.
Joe stepped into the room carrying a book of Bible verses, but before he could place it on his father’s bedside table, his mother appeared at the door.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Mrs. Simpson said. “I’m sure I can hear you.”
Joe smiled at her and bowed his head.
“Lord,” he prayed quietly. “Please forgive me for letting anger rule my tongue today. I should have treated you and my brother better than this, Lord.”
A gentle smile touched his lips as he closed his eyes, asking God to guide him through the day ahead. “And please help me forgive the Simpson family. Help me show them the love you’ve always shown us.”
“Thank you, Lord,” Joe whispered softly.
After a while, his mother returned and stood quietly beside his bed. She waited for several minutes, but neither one of them spoke. Then she cleared her throat and moved over to sit next to her son. “How are you doing, son?”
He shrugged. “Not too bad,” he said with a slight smile. “Just need some sleep.”
Mrs. Simpson sat silently for another minute. She glanced down at the book in Joe’s hands and realized it was a Bible verse book. “What’s that?” she asked, pointing at the open pages.
“This is one of my favorite books,” Joe told her. “It has a lot of beautiful verses about God and his creation.”
She looked down at her own Bible. “Mine is the same thing,” she admitted. “We’re reading these every morning before breakfast.”
Joe grinned at his mother, and he saw the pride in her eyes. “You’re learning about God,” he commented softly.
“That’s right.” Mrs. Simpson smiled and reached out to take his hand. “Now, why don’t we read our Bibles together tonight?”
Joe smiled brightly. “I’d like that.”
“Good.” She squeezed his hand and turned to leave. “I’ll come to check on you later,” she called over her shoulder before disappearing behind the door.
Ben watched her until she was gone and then laid down again, closing his eyes with the intention of sleeping. It was useless anyway; he was exhausted enough to fall asleep standing up.
“Are you all right?”
His eyes opened and he saw Joe standing by his side. He hadn’t heard his youngest brother enter the room.
“Yes, thanks.”
Joe studied him for a long moment before speaking. “You seem different tonight.”
“Different how?”
“Like your spirits have been lifted.”
He chuckled wryly. “That’s an understatement.”
“Well, maybe it’s a little of both,” Joe responded, looking down at the book in his hands. “But I think it’s mostly because you finally made your decision and are going to follow God.”
“I am following God.”
Joe nodded his head as he lowered himself onto the edge of his father’s bed. “Do you believe God sent the angel to help you?”
“The angel who appeared before me, yes.”
“Why?” Joe asked. “If he was an angel—”
“Because it happened exactly the way I wrote it in my journal.”
Joe’s eyes widened as his brow furrowed. “So it really happened?”
“Of course it did!” He paused briefly and shook his head. “No wonder we haven’t been getting anywhere. Jim hasn’t believed a word of it.”
Joe laughed lightly and looked back down at his father’s Bible. “I’ll go get Dad and ask if he wants to read with us.”
“Sounds good,” Ben said with a nod. “Thanks, Joe.”
When Joe left the room, Ben tried again to close his eyes and sleep. But the words from Joe’s last comment stuck to his mind. Why hadn’t Jim believed his story? And what else had Joe’s brother not believed about their father and their past?
***
“How do you feel now?” Joe asked his father after returning with them to his parent’s house.
Jim sighed and lay back on the bed, closing his eyes.
“It seems like a distant memory,” he answered. “I know you don’t believe me.”
“I want to believe you,” Joe protested. “But I just can’t see why you would make up a story like that.”
“There were other stories I made up, too.” His father stared at the ceiling and rubbed the stubble on his chin. “About a man named Jonah and a whale.”
“Whoa,” Joe blurted, startled by his sudden revelation. He hadn’t even known about Jonah until now, and the thought of a man surviving inside a huge fish didn’t seem like fiction to Joe.
Jim gave him a half grin. “Maybe there are more miracles like Jonah.”
Joe considered this. “But where do they come from?” he asked. “God must be real, otherwise, we wouldn’t be alive.”
“Right.” Jim smiled at his son and closed his eyes again. “And God must love us, or he couldn’t let us die so young.”
Joe’s mouth dropped open. “Dad!”
Jim opened his eyes and looked at his youngest son. “You weren’t supposed to find out that way.”
“But you never wanted to tell me.”
“It’s true. The doctor warned me against it.”
“Did he say why?”
Jim shook his head, still gazing at the ceiling. “Nothing important.”
“I’m sorry,” Joe repeated. “It’s just that… well, you should have told me when you were younger.”
His father shrugged as he continued to look up at the ceiling. “That may be true but I never knew how. You were always so shy. It seemed cruel to bring it up now.”
“I think you were scared yourself,” Joe replied, feeling embarrassed at having accused his father. “You didn’t know how to tell me.”
A smile played across Jim’s lips. “You got some of your mother’s intuition sometimes,” he teased. “Don’t worry, I won’t hold it against you.”
“I guess…” Joe felt awkward suddenly and changed the subject. “What did the doctor say?” he asked, trying to sound casual. “Is it safe for you to travel?”
“I’m fine,” Jim said, turning toward his youngest son. “It looks like I’ll be traveling in the spring.”
Joe frowned. “In the spring?”
Jim nodded his head and smiled. “Yes, in the spring, Joseph.”
With a start, Joe sat up straight. “You’re going to Texas?”
“That’s right,” Jim replied. “We’ve had enough trouble here and it’s time we went home.”
“Where will you go?”
“To Texas.”
“Are you sure this is something you want to do?”
Jim looked down at his hands. “I’d rather not talk about it anymore. Let’s leave it at that.”
Joe stood up and leaned over his father’s bed. “Then it’s settled,” he said and left the room.
***
Ben was surprised to see his two oldest sons at church the next Sunday, though neither one said anything. He also found that he liked having them attend services with him every week. It was hard to believe how much their lives resembled his own childhood.
They attended church regularly each Sabbath, and Ben wondered if they were doing that only because he insisted upon it. Would it mean so much to him if they weren’t forced?
The preacher preached the morning sermon and talked about the death of John the Baptist. The congregation bowed their heads to pray after communion.
“Let us pray,” the preacher began, “that we might follow his example and serve our Lord without fear. Amen.”
Ben raised his head, glanced around the church, and saw the brothers kneeling in prayer before joining the others. He felt a sense of satisfaction at seeing them show respect for God.
He noticed that they both looked pale and drawn and wondered briefly about his eldest son’s health. Maybe Jim had finally gotten sick with all the stress of his job? Or maybe it was something else, and Ben didn’t want to imagine the worst. Was it possible that Jim had fallen ill due to an accident while he was working on the ranch?
As the service ended, he walked up the aisle and met his boys at the front door. Both men wore dark suits and hats, and the women looked polished, too. Ben was happy to see that his children dressed like gentlemen.
“I’m glad you could come today.” He patted his youngest son’s shoulder and smiled down at his middle son.
After they left the church, Joe spoke first. “You know, Dad, I never knew you were ever afraid of anything.”
“Fraid? Of course, I was. But I learned to deal with it.”
Joe nodded his head. “You don’t get many opportunities to feel that way, I suppose. What I meant was, I never thought you were scared of anything until you became a marshal.”
Ben chuckled. “Well, I was a pretty brave kid. We used to fight off Indians together, remember?”
Joe stared at him blankly. “What Indians?”
“Oh, nothing important,” Ben said and shook his head. “You must be tired.” He put his hand on his youngest son’s shoulder and guided him toward the house. “We’ll talk more tomorrow.”
They walked into the kitchen and Ben took a moment to enjoy the warmth and smell of the place. He loved to cook for his family, and he often wondered what it would be like if the three of them lived under the same roof.
With Jim gone, he could have his own place upstairs or move back in with the other two. There was plenty of space for them to share, and the idea gave him a strange feeling.
The End