Hannah Bogtrotter and the Three Fierce Cats
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Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl called Hannah Bogtrotter. She was on the way to see her Dolly Thunder when she decided to take a shortcut through Dallington Forest.
It wasn’t long before Hannah got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she fell into her bag for her favorite toy, Hugo, but Hugo was nowhere to be found! Hannah began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Hugo. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, she saw a fierce cat dressed in a red jacket disappearing into the trees.
“How odd!” thought Hannah.
For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed cat. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Hannah reached a clearing. She found herself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from pods of peas, a house made from humbugs, a house made from toffees, and a house made from sweets.
On top stood an enormous house – made entirely out of cakes – decorated with icing sugar hankies, chocolate curtains, and jelly beans window frames…
A tiny voice inside Hannah’s head kept telling her that this strange sight couldn’t possibly exist… “I’m not really here at all,” said Hannah suddenly. And just like magic, Hannah stepped backward one step right into another dream-world where people walked and talked but none appeared quite real: everything was so confusing and surreal!
Everything happened slightly off schedule. No matter how hard anyone tried they always seemed to arrive somewhere seconds too late or miss their trains as if being driven along bumpy train tracks… When two groups met by chance who should appear? Everyone went up to them and introduced themselves: Mr. Wobbler, Mrs. Flopsy Beads, Dr. Inkwell Spatterliss.
Even Hannah spotted them first… What?! Who are you supposed to say is overreacting most of all…? Why don’t I even know your names yet?” As soon as someone new arrived the whole situation turned very serious; everyone assumed he (or she) must have something interesting going wrong.
They put pressure on each other while no one knew whether what came next would finally land perfectly or turn completely disastrous…” Where shall we go tonight? Let me think!” says David Radley.
Suddenly he spots George Bloor flirting with his neighbor Hazel Digby. So he immediately introduces himself to everyone nearby including The Granny. Still clueless about exactly what to call such mysterious characters in front of them, people started asking each other questions all to hide behind words so awkward no one dared ask straight away. Then out of nowhere came: “Why isn’t there a place called ‘Holland Park?’
We’re wasting daylight trying to come across someplace like that…” George asked his question cautiously since many people seem to believe things will work themselves out simply because nothing else can… “Perhaps there actually is a Holland Park near Hyde Park,” offers Andy Jackson.
But then all kinds of conversations were conducted simultaneously without any hope whatsoever to complete thoughts quickly enough: no sooner than the suggestion pops up, and there goes everybody again.
While The Granny commented nonchalantly in disbelief “…with its green acres!” all types of scenarios begin playing in the mind of Dilly Duffinton…”Should I try smoking pot with my parents tomorrow night?” asked Jim Mowbray…”Do black pudding sandwiches count towards breakfast?!” questioned Debs Hammond.
“We live in London already. Doesn’t mean we don’t get winters!” said Dr. Nellist as the seasons were spinning differently…” You know I’m married to Phillip now, right!?”, “Might buy that Tescos supermarket downtown someday!” interrupted Philip “Wouldn’t dare!!
My mum doesn’t cook ever since we moved into her house! Said that I stole most of her ingredients, yeah!!””Get a bloody life woman, talk to me! Where is Kebab Street? Isn’t there anywhere I can order good kebabs?? Tell me. Someone needs to tell me !!!”.
After days spent living in confusion they still didn’t recognize the face of Dr. Neil Fox from Westminister when walking past his house with Elizabeth Wilson (“Actually he never told us!” said Zara “Who hasn’t heard of William Shakespeare!” explained Edward Charming.
They both instantly regretted blurting this remark since they immediately realized they got confused, having mistaken Will for Billy).”Oh God!!” yelled Reverend Pender after noticing young Jake Edwards fiddling with something he shouldn’t.”Are you hiding a cell phone in there mate?” demanded Philip before throwing back his glass and shaking uncontrollably with laughter.
“You’ll eat every one of those puppies boy!” yelled Annie Dolittle to her son Tommy who seemed adamant to hide something under the sofa”Isn’t Hamlet played at Regent Street Theatre tonight?” inquired Brian Casanova to Stephen as they shared drinks around their table.
“Don’t make jokes about Romeo & Juliet love stories anymore –you’d end up dating a nun like Marisa! But seriously stop saying ‘girl’ for human beings who are men or women.”, commented Neha Singh to Claudio Popper-“I like Alice’s Restaurant!'” shouted Mike Connolly from Cripplegate as he points at some odd stranger.
Everybody slowly returned home to sleep, promising themselves this wasn’t what they planned… Only to wake up unexpectedly early again feeling trapped in their bedclothes whilst outside it became summer and the world began turning mad.
Later everyone felt different regarding what had been happening recently, but instead decided to leave with heavy bags which filled a half dozen taxis waiting patiently on St Mark’s Place.” Right ho! Left on Fifth Ave for six hundred yards to Central Park Zoo…Hahaha,” laughed Peter to Jai Pauli “Hey listen, man, forget the zoo let’s do Broadway!!”
After only three hours everyone gave up: “No one likes Romeo&Juliet, really you can just die!” Lydia Rodenburg looked very ill… Lizzie Hinchley was screaming loudly: “”Fxxking kill yourself!!” Andrew Miller sighed deeply and stretched, falling asleep where he sat in a corner; to wake up covered with dried ketchup in the restaurant…
“Listen man you made my eyes water!”, complained Pete to Alonzo Coelho while taking out a pack of cigarettes to light them inside a tiny alcove between tables…”When did we stop talking about football?”, whined Alfie Howard suddenly after a great big argument broke out among strangers when they began debating which teams represent the real New York.
““Oscar Wilde slept here?!”, wondered Adrian Brody to Jonny from Aberdeen …”Of course, you haven’t, why would they have??
Ask an American –or read about it first if you must hear someone tell the truth!, offered Neale with his tongue planted firmly within his cheek”That was so nice how everybody calmed down so well finally. Let’s play board games after dinner for fun and laughs,” joked Stan Wojakowski who actually wanted to practice hypnosis methods..
“Let’s ask around and see whether they even know anything useful about Italy -why don’t we find ourselves there eventually!? Any ideas anyone? To be honest, this whole thing has started making more sense to me lately,” mused Andrew Taylor during an evening walk near Chelsea Market.
Then again” Bye honey good luck getting home safely. Bye darlings sweethearts we say our sad farewells …Go West!! “. And everybody ended up following instructions sent via postcards from Dr. Nellis…
“With respect, I am beginning to suspect your nationality is not the United States of America. You seem to speak Spanish fluently enough like some Mexican but from a few comments, I believe that the English language is the base for your speech pattern, am I correct Mr. Martin???
Am also assuming therefore you do not reside within 50 miles of downtown LA “, wrote Frank Mcfarlane while secretly changing maps of the city online and examining various sources, always in a hurry due to time pressure set by certain deadlines looming ever nearer.”Where can I call British Airways once arrived abroad?
What country name shall sound similar to British but isn’t exactly related with it at all?”.Finally arriving outside Terminal FourA guy dressed in a black polo shirt approaches Jake Edwards and throws over to him two folded newspaper headlines”.
London bomb found near Oxford Street!”, reads The Times” Dozens feared dead in a terrorist explosion, police confirm (but admit to knowing little),” reads Evening Standard, flipping upside-down onto his head and revealing to Eddie Murphy the headline about his daughter”.
Allegedly all other papers published the same info previously classified as ‘highly confidential’, in different parts of Europe causing multiple confusion everywhere: in Brussels, the headlines read:
“Secret meeting of CIA directors takes place near Antwerp.”, Amsterdam was convinced a terrible tornado hit the local school leaving many children severely injured including those possibly carrying concealed weapons hidden behind their hands, and others now paralyzed as a direct result.
Most Parisians couldn’t even remember seeing news reports containing their names or some general information about a fire incident close to Disneyland either…even though it happened yesterday. Meanwhile, hundreds were detained across Madrid due to suspicions, and still, thousands in Prague believed that the Christmas miracle might come true for a change.”
One day please tell me dear brother John: why would she live all alone in that flat all the way over there on Mars and what does her room number mean anyway?!” Willem De Veer was worried sick over Martha; she hadn’t phoned in 2 weeks…”Please talk to me Martha and sort things out OK?
Please ..? If anyhow something happens you just say okay then I’ll get straight down to Edinburgh before everything gets destroyed altogether there –as you know London has changed its weather patterns according to me: ice, snowstorms, thunderstorms…Rainy days every single day since forever, rainy nights too even.
Winter rains are so heavy that rivers burst into our basement floor sometimes flooding almost half of us with dirty murky flood waters. Then again summer rains drive everyone crazy completely literally as usual. So you needn’t worry about anyone anymore sweetheart cuz they won’t get much warmer anywhere these past years!
As far as climate changes go nobody really understands very well nature’s processes anyway so it becomes simply difficult to grasp what new developments might happen.It is simple as that darling sister, there could potentially occur major variations anytime depending upon life forms’ evolutionary tendencies toward further mutation, etc. –it depends precisely on what particular genes express themselves as adaptive characteristics, all these biological expressions per se
“What’re YOU trying to figure out Martha?”, asked Willem using his old man’s voice emphasizing words heavily implying he knows what to expect of her next steps due to sheer experience gained throughout a long marriage and especially family background together with healthy observation.
Picking herself up off from sofa having spilled the last part of wine over onto the tablecloth Sarah challenged herself in facing three consecutive glasses standing ready against the kitchen wall in order to claim she needs only one glass now while clearly finding 3 extremely desirable and tempting propositions instead: “Look Maarvaaaaan!”–continued Michael not looking round too often.
“Are there indeed such people called African Pygmies lurking underground and beneath Earth?”-“How deep do they reach if anybody cares about inquiring, exploring, learning, and teaching stuff when it comes to their ancient culture?!
There surely should have been a group of real pygmies sitting on chairs inside the University underground at least because quite sure that sooner or later someone must decide where to explore beyond than merely checking whether chocolate remains taste delicious between slices of bread by just smelling first this piece and then another bit with same results until finally giving up concluding there is absolutely no connection whatsoever between cocoa powder, warm toast, and human health.”
“Might it be worthwhile in future making an attempt to find them regardless of how they may prove rather elusive in every possible sense?”.-asked Mia after being specifically instructed to show interest in one of the main topics currently on air during the Oprah Show–”Ok well-done kiddie there! but answer my questions dammit… Why hasn’t there appeared anything besides mushrooms ever heard about during subsequent excavation expeditions?
Haven’t you noticed mushroom clouds visible above both oceans?’Would you believe there’d certainly arisen and might still arise nuclear explosions somewhere on this planet given half an hour period we haven’t got yet?
Nuclear accidents maybe, yeah definitely: a dozen times more powerful fissionable explode all the time compared to ones which actually used as potential power sources by world leaders like big countries and corporations (remember the Chernobyl disaster? Oh yes?).
And oh well no question about it most atomic detonations become effectively harmless natural radiation incidents created mostly underwater in giant geologically located geological sites outbursts thus rendering oceanic levels rising unpredictably. What would become of ecosystems on surface land and continent once undersea eruptions cease occurring every 12 minutes minimum at the rate observed just recently?
“Well well …how about you Mr president answering OUR OWN DAMNED QUESTIONS already with answers satisfying each individual mind for starters…!”-added Wilma softly interrupting his little randiness breaking him short enough to permit complete silence whilst feeling thankful towards both sisters who seem to have evolved without making him lose hope on humankind just as always despite being put through numerous and increasingly intense emotional tests both personally and publicly.