God Gives Us The Desires Of Our Heart
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The sun rose slowly into the sky, casting a golden glow over all of us. In the distance I could see other villages and towns where people were going about their normal daily lives; it was a pleasant sight to behold after having gone so long with no civilization at all.
It was hard to believe we’d been there for so long without seeing anyone else. I wondered if everyone in these lands had simply given up on living or if perhaps they didn’t know that anyone else existed. Either way, the fact was that there were many more people than we would have encountered by heading northwards from Sespech.
“So,” I said, “what do you think? Is it safe?”
Ruthie looked back at me and smiled slightly. She knew as well as I did that we’d be fine, but she wasn’t about to give up her last shred of independence, however little it might have been. That being said, the idea of leaving our weapons behind was too much to bear—even for Ruthie, who hadn’t grown up in a world of violence.
We still carried our swords and my pistol, just not the daggers which we normally wore slung over one shoulder.
That night we camped out in a small clearing, surrounded by tall grasses, and settled down for sleep under clear skies. Ruthie went first, sitting beside me on the ground, and we sat together looking at the stars until she finally fell asleep. I waited for another hour before drifting off myself.
After a while, I woke up abruptly. A shadow moved in front of me—a dark shape moving quickly through the field toward the woods. My eyes darted around trying to find the source of the movement, but there seemed to be nothing in the darkness beyond.
It wasn’t long before the shadow approached the edge of the forest. Then there was something strange in that direction, a faint flicker, but it disappeared when I turned my head.
I couldn’t make it out and I didn’t want to move from where I lay down because then maybe it would appear again. If it did, we wouldn’t be able to stop it—no matter what I did, I doubted I could get Ruthie away in time if I ran into this thing by myself.
I tried to keep calm, though and decided I had a better chance of getting Ruthie’s attention before something happened than trying to fight whatever it was alone. So I started talking quietly to Ruthie; I tried to make her understand that someone was coming and that it was important. But it was hard to wake her up, especially since she seemed perfectly comfortable lying in the dirt.
She must’ve heard me because she eventually lifted her head enough to see the shadow moving toward us. At last, Ruthie’s eyes snapped open, her gaze darting around wildly for an instant before settling on me.
“What…?” she asked. Then she looked past me. “Hey! What are you doing?”
I turned to look where she was looking, but there was no sign of anything except for the trees.
“We’re going to be attacked!” Ruthie screamed. “Look!” And Ruthie grabbed my hand and tried to pull me back into the grasses as the dark shape moved rapidly through the woods. For a moment, I resisted and tried to explain to Ruthie that we had time but that didn’t work. Ruthie pulled harder and harder until I gave in and we both scrambled to pick ourselves up.
But now the figure was only a few feet away, looming over us like some kind of black mountain, its outline visible even at night against the sky. Its face was covered in hair, almost to the point of being a beard, and I felt a cold sweat break out over me as I realized that whoever was approaching us was naked.
Then I saw a pale white form step out of the shadows: a female. She had skin as pale as ice and long flowing robes of pure white.
“You can’t stay here,” she whispered as she stepped closer to us. “This isn’t your place.”
Her voice was soft and melodic; her eyes glowed with unnatural light and a slight smile spread across her face. Her lips were painted red; a ruby red.
There was something very disturbing about the woman, but at the same time, she radiated a sense of warmth and compassion that drew me in. It was like looking at a ghost, a spirit from another world who’d come to warn me that I was entering dangerous territory.
The way the woman stared at me made me feel like she knew everything about me and understood every one of my fears. And then a shiver passed down my spine as I remembered that she could know more than I imagined—that her eyes held power.
“Who are you?” I asked, staring back at her.
“My name is Liria,” she answered. “But my people used to call me the Lady of the Dawn.”
***
Liria led us to the village, which was hidden among the trees. There were several buildings built around a central square, and each building was made from a mixture of wood and stone. Some of them were simple huts; others were large, two-story homes.
In between were smaller dwellings; most of these belonged to families who lived outside of the main town and spent their days tending crops or raising animals. They had all stopped working once they noticed that we were approaching.
Only those closest to our path were willing to talk to us, and I could see from the glances passing between the townsfolk that we weren’t welcome—they watched us curiously, perhaps curious why the Lady of the Dawn was bringing outsiders to visit their home.
The sun had risen higher, and it warmed the day, but the air still carried a chill. We walked down a street lined with wooden houses and soon came upon the central plaza, where Liria paused and bowed her head. She turned to Ruthie.
“Come along now, Ruthie,” she said softly, as Ruthie looked at the villagers in confusion and continued to stare at Liria. Ruthie shook her head. “Ruthie? Ruthie, please,” she whispered. Ruthie looked down at herself as if she was seeing her for the first time, then turned to Liria. “Are you sure this is safe?”
Liria nodded gently. “They’ll do no harm.” She smiled again, then reached out her hands and touched Ruthie’s shoulder. With the slightest of touches, Ruthie turned from a frightened child to a young woman. Her eyes shone brightly, but Ruthie’s expression was blank, like that of a doll, and her movements were mechanical.
At least Ruthie looked younger now, and Liria did have a gift for making people forget that they were children or adults, so I figured Ruthie might be a little less suspicious now, too. She nodded at Liria before turning to me, and her eyes were clear and bright, although I couldn’t help but notice that her eyes were now hazel instead of brown.
Ruthie took her by the hand and pulled her forward.
Liria smiled again at us and then beckoned us to follow her to one of the buildings on the far side of the plaza. When we approached, Liria stepped aside, motioning for us to enter and closing the door behind us. As soon as we were inside, I heard the creaking of hinges as the door closed quietly after us.
Now we were completely enclosed within this small space, and it seemed that Liria didn’t intend to let us leave until she was ready. But what could she possibly want with us?
I glanced back into the open doorway and caught a glimpse of Ruthie’s wide eyes peering around the room, watching us from behind Liria.
It struck me that none of the townsfolk were coming forward to meet us, nor did I hear the sound of any children playing. This place was eerily silent.
After some moments, Liria finally spoke up. “What brings you to my town?” she asked. It was only after I’d spoken that I realized I should’ve been asking that question to Liria, not to Ruthie. But at least Liria didn’t seem offended; she merely tilted her head thoughtfully as she pondered our answer.
“We’re on a journey—” Ruthie began.
“—to find someone special,” Ruthie added. “Someone who may be able to save the life of the man I love,” Ruthie continued, looking at Liria directly. A look flashed across Liria’s face, one that looked almost like sorrow.
“You must speak to my mother,” Liria said. “She will take you to see the High Priest.” At last, we had reached somewhere that sounded important.
“High Priest?” Ruthie asked nervously. I wondered how much she’d learned since Liria had rescued her. Was Ruthie already aware of what kind of people lived in this village?
Before Liria could reply, the door opened again, and a woman dressed in the traditional white robes of a priestess entered. The woman moved toward us slowly, her hands clasped before her. Her expression was serious.
“Welcome,” she said with a deep bow. “May I know your names?”
Ruthie bowed slightly, and I followed her lead—it had become automatic. “This is Ruthie Deverin,” she told the priestess. “And I’m called Tressa.”
The woman turned to me. “A pleasure to meet you.” She smiled warmly as if we were meeting at a social gathering.
For an instant, I saw that there was something familiar about the woman. I remembered the way she looked when she first appeared beside Ruthie on the street: the same gentle eyes and the same slight smile. I knew that face… But where? Who was this person? And why did I remember her? “Where are you from, Sister?” I asked.
Her eyes narrowed briefly, then she returned her attention to Ruthie. “Now that Ruthie has introduced us, may I ask why you seek the High Priest?” Her tone remained pleasant, but her voice was firm.
“We have been traveling together since I first met Ruthie outside of my home,” Ruthie said smoothly. “We are both searching for a woman who can cure my sister’s illness.” She looked over at me, and her eyes glowed with excitement. “Do you know her? Is she here?”
Sister! The name was familiar to me, even though I couldn’t recall ever hearing it before. I tried to keep myself calm, hoping that my confusion wouldn’t show on my face. What connection could Ruthie’s sister possibly have with me? I looked up at Ruthie, who looked equally puzzled. “Who?” I asked, trying not to sound as confused as I felt.
“My sister,” Ruthie exclaimed, “who may be able to heal the illness afflicting Tressa’s friend! We think she might be in your city.” Ruthie paused, her eyes darting between us all. “Are we in your city?”
The priestess shook her head. “No, you’re far from my people now. You are in a strange land, and it would be better if I took you to the High Priest right away. He knows more about this place than I do. Where did you say you were going to search?”
“To meet the woman,” Ruthie said, nodding vigorously. “The woman who may be able to help Tressa, or at least tell us what’s wrong with her.”
The priestess raised a finger to her lips. “Listen closely,” she whispered. “When we get closer to the city, there will come a point where the road will fork. If you turn left, you’ll travel deeper into the mountains, while if you turn right you’ll find the main gates and entrance to the city.” Her hand shot out abruptly, pointing directly past me, at the open doorway.
At last, I understood. This was the temple. Ruthie’s sister was here, among these people. How long had Ruthie and I traveled through the mountains to reach them? Had I known that we would eventually pass close by this city, that I would need directions to find its gates, and a guide to take us inside?
I watched the priestess leave, then turned to look back at Ruthie. She seemed excited, almost as if she expected her sister to appear in the next moment. I tried to imagine that Ruthie’s sister would be here, waiting for us; but I didn’t think this kind of magic existed in the world. Perhaps Ruthie really wanted a miracle so badly, she’d conjured one. “Why did you call me Sister?” I asked.
Ruthie smiled wistfully. “Because we’re sisters. Sisters are always close.” Then she glanced back at the door that had led her in, her expression growing serious again. “But I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again.”
***
I thought about this for several days, wondering why Ruthie should be telling me all of this, or why we were meeting this priestess when no one else had ever heard of this woman. When I asked Ruthie how she knew her sister, Ruthie refused to explain, insisting only that she was sure I would understand once I met the woman.
“You won’t believe this place,” she would say eagerly. “There’s nothing like it anywhere else in the world.” I wondered if Ruthie might have been involved in some kind of cult, and that this was her religion, or perhaps the reason why she was willing to die. “It’s a place full of mystery. That’s all I’m saying,” she would say.
I found it hard to focus on anything except Ruthie. My thoughts were consumed by questions: why had Ruthie sought this woman? What was the meaning behind our journey, and did it matter which road we took to get there?
Was I really dying, or only suffering from a disease? And what kind of illness could I possibly have had for so long without anyone noticing?
“If she is here,” I finally asked, “then maybe she can also cure me.”
Ruthie nodded slowly, then turned and looked across the camp. “Maybe I’ll never see her again,” she said quietly. Then she turned back to me and looked at me carefully. “She may be able to heal you too.”
This time when I went into the forest to meditate, I concentrated harder than ever before, pushing aside every distraction and thinking about Ruthie alone. I tried to remember her face clearly, the way her dark hair hung over her shoulders, and the way she wore a black cloak even when the sun was shining, hiding her clothes beneath it
. There were moments in my dreams when I saw Ruthie walking beside me in the street; sometimes we sat side by side on a bench, and once Ruthie even kissed me lightly on the forehead. In those memories, Ruthie’s voice was soft, almost like a whisper, and I couldn’t hear anyone else’s words around us.
But in my waking hours—the ones where I remembered everything else—I could still not hear her speak at all.
“What if Ruthie isn’t your sister?” I asked myself aloud. “And what if there really is a woman here, who has been able to heal others in the past?”
My mind began to wander, trying to make sense of what Ruthie was saying. “Then I am already healed, and this woman can’t help me anymore. She must have found an answer that will let her continue living forever. That’s why she wants me to come to her.”
I thought of Ruthie’s mother, the woman whom she spoke of so often, and imagined her as being the same age as Ruthie, although she had been born decades earlier. Maybe Ruthie’s mother would be there, sitting in the garden and talking to the children as they played nearby.
Would Ruthie’s father walk up and join them? Or would he be busy working at his desk, lost in the papers piled upon it?
“Perhaps the answer is right here, under my nose,” I whispered aloud to myself.
For the first time, I realized I hadn’t spoken with another person for several days. No one had come to my tent and said anything to me about my sickness or told me I should move closer to the fire to warm myself more, or brought food.
It occurred to me that Ruthie may have left me for good, leaving me stranded in this forest without any companionship. If that was true, I could try asking the priests and priestesses who lived in the city for help, or I could go back to Ruthie’s house and ask her parents why they would allow their daughter to travel so far away without warning them. Perhaps it was because they didn’t care.
I stood abruptly and stepped out of the tent.
“Where are you going?” Ruthie called out after me.
“I need to find someone,” I shouted back.
Ruthie was standing just outside of my tent, looking uncertainly around the clearing.
“I’m not sure,” she said nervously. “But if there’s something wrong with you, then I want to know how it happened. Are you hurt somewhere? Does your body feel cold?” She walked toward me, holding her arms across her chest. “Tell me if something hurts. Tell me anything.”
“No,” I muttered. “Don’t touch me yet. You might not have any protection against a plague.”
Ruthie looked startled, but she didn’t argue with me. She just turned back to look at the forest. “Is there anywhere near here where I can get some water? A stream or a lake?”
We walked together for a while, then Ruthie stopped suddenly.
“Look!” she exclaimed. “There’s a pool over there.”
It was only a small pond that looked no different from any other I had seen before. Yet Ruthie’s eyes shone with excitement as she pointed at it. The air shimmered for a moment, then I saw the reflection of the sky on the surface.
“You can hear me now,” Ruthie said. “Listen closely. Can you hear me?”
I nodded slowly, listening intently. I heard Ruthie’s voice, and I knew that she wasn’t telling a lie. She was trying to tell me everything. “Yes,” I said at last. “I can hear you.”
“Good. Now, I’ve made up my mind. I’ll take you there tomorrow, early in the morning.”
I waited until Ruthie was silent for a long time, staring at the reflection on the pond’s surface. Then I turned to face her.
“Did you see your mother?” I asked her softly.
She shook her head. “Not her. But she’s here too. She sent me to fetch you.”
The End