Champion Of My Heart
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“I’m going to marry her,” Tom whispered, and his words echoed in the silence. “And this is what I want you to do.” He leaned forward again but did not touch Molly. She knew she’d be able to smell him now that they were alone with only one horse between them.
But he didn’t lean close enough to kiss her, either. Instead, he held himself perfectly still—as if waiting for something else from her.
Molly swallowed hard, wanting so badly to reach out and take whatever it was he needed from her. “What about your father?” she asked.
Tom turned on the water faucet as hot as it would go and poured a cup of cold water into it. He looked up at her, and she could see that he was struggling to control his emotions. “He’s been trying to force me to marry since before you arrived here.
So why start now? You’ve saved my life twice already.” His lips curled slightly in self-mockery, and then he took a deep breath and set down the cup of water without drinking any of it. “If this marriage will get me back home, then I’ll gladly do it. And if you can help me save my dad, too, even better. Just tell me how.”
She reached into her pocket and pulled out three dollars. “For you,” she said.
His hand closed over hers in gratitude but then dropped away. He stared at the money, seeming unable to accept her gift, and she knew what she had to say next. She couldn’t just leave him standing there while his family and friends were still trapped under that bridge, even though he had no idea who she really was or what she might be capable of.
So, taking care to keep her voice low and steady, she told him about her plan—how she was supposed to kill his father, and then herself.
“But first you’re going to have to convince him that killing you is what he wants to do,” she said. “I can’t make myself disappear until he kills me. If you don’t know where he lives yet, I’ll try to find out more about him tonight. Then we can talk some more tomorrow.”
Tom nodded slowly, and she realized that he wanted to argue with her—to insist on marrying her instead. It wasn’t like he hadn’t considered asking her to marry him earlier in the day, when they’d been sitting together at the dinner table.
But he hadn’t because of his mother’s presence and his concern over how the other ranch hands might feel if they saw two men holding hands. Now, however, he seemed to have made up his mind about the future.
“We’ll need time to practice the way I want to die,” he said. “You’re right, we’ll still need help from those who love me most.” He gave her a sad smile. “My mom and brothers will probably never understand it, but at least they won’t be forced to watch me being murdered.
They may not approve of the way I’m going to do it, but they can at least be proud that I tried everything humanly possible to save everyone else’s lives.”
His words struck a chord of sympathy within Molly. She had grown up in a family whose patriarch believed he was the victim of a curse, just like Tom’s father. In fact, Molly’s grandfather had once blamed her for the death of their daughter-in-law, even though it had actually been an accident that killed both women.
So she knew exactly what it felt like to have someone blame you for the very things you weren’t responsible for. And it didn’t seem fair for Tom to shoulder all of the blame.
She looked at Tom with newfound respect. He had been through so much in such a short time: the death of his family and the loss of his home. But he hadn’t given up. He’d done something unthinkable, something she would never dare do, and he’d managed to come up with a solution to the problem at hand. And she was pretty sure that if anyone could do it, it would be him.
After all, he was the champion of his heart.
***
“Where are you going?” Tom called after Molly, but she ignored his question and kept walking toward the barn. She’d barely reached the open door before she heard the sound of hooves approaching on the dirt road. She stopped, and the sound grew louder.
Molly could hear the clop of horse feet on the ground and then the pounding of hooves as the riders rounded the bend in front of the barn. Two horses thundered past Molly and then galloped off in another direction. A few seconds later, two more rode by, and then, finally, came the sound of the last rider’s approach—the only one of Tom’s family to be left behind today.
“Hey, Molly!”
Her name echoed in the empty building, followed by the laughter of his companions. He slowed and reined his horse around. She recognized him now; the man wore a dark-blue vest that matched the color of his eyes. The same blue as the shirt that he wore underneath.
The two brothers sat side by side on their mounts. Both men wore white shirts with sleeves rolled up and black vests. Tom’s brother held out a hand to her. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” he said. “It’s a shame that your brother didn’t join us this afternoon.”
Molly took his hand and shook it gently. “He’s working hard,” she said, feeling a bit confused that his younger brother was the one speaking to her. It seemed strange, considering how much older Thomas was than him. “And I believe he will soon.”
His brother nodded slightly in acknowledgment, then returned his attention to her. His expression was serious, but his tone betrayed a touch of amusement. “You’re the girl who’s been causing trouble for us. We’ve seen your picture in the newspaper.”
The words hit her like a punch in the stomach. “What did you say?”
Her brother chuckled. “You’re the one who shot that marshal.” He paused briefly. “We were hoping we wouldn’t ever see your face again.”
Molly tried to swallow, but her mouth refused to work. What had happened? Why hadn’t her brother mentioned anything about the attack on the marshal yesterday morning? And why had he suddenly changed his attitude toward her?
It almost seemed as if he were ashamed to be connected to her or something. Maybe he was regretting that he’d gone along with the others when they decided to kill the marshal. Her brother would never be able to forgive himself for that.
Then why is he talking to me now?
“Did you kill him?” she asked.
Her brother stared straight ahead, not responding. The silence stretched on. Molly waited impatiently, knowing that he would reply eventually. But no answer came.
Finally, she turned to leave. But his brother called out to her. “If you really want to get into this business,” he said, “you need to learn how to shoot.” His voice sounded oddly flat, even though his face showed no signs of emotion. “Maybe we can help you practice.”
“That would be nice,” she responded, wondering whether it was a trap.
But then, unexpectedly, the younger brother pulled his horse to a stop in front of her and leaned toward her. She looked directly into his dark eyes, trying to read some kind of reaction, but she saw nothing.
His gaze remained steady and focused on hers, while his right hand gripped the reins and guided his horse closer to her mount. He extended his left arm and rested his hand atop her stirrup. Then he reached down slowly to her right leg and lifted his hand to her ankle where he pressed his palm firmly against the sole of her foot.
He’s trying to make contact with my foot, Molly realized. But why?
As the man studied her foot with his hand, Molly felt as if she were being watched. She glanced at Tom standing beside the barn, looking on. Was Tom aware of what was happening? Did he know that his brother was making physical contact with her?
Tom continued to watch them both, his eyes narrowed in confusion. Then, suddenly, he turned and left the barn.
The younger brother followed Tom outside, leaving her alone with the older man, who stared at her for another minute without speaking. When he finally released his grip on her leg, Molly felt a surge of energy flow through her, as if a new sense of purpose had taken hold inside her.
She swung back on her horse and started riding away from them. Her heart pounded so hard that she thought it might burst.
They won’t let me walk away, she told herself. They’ll chase me down somehow.
After all, she reminded herself, she wasn’t a marshal, an agent of the law. But neither was she a coward, willing to run from any danger. She was going to go wherever she wanted—to stay there, to sleep there, to eat there if necessary. And she intended to do whatever was necessary to find her brother. If she was going to be chased, then she was ready for them.
***
Molly stopped her horse at the end of the road leading to the ranch house, which stood alone in a field just beyond the trees. The structure appeared much too large for one family. She wondered what kind of people lived there.
When she first met Thomas, she assumed he’d come from this very ranch. But he’d said that his parents lived in town, and yet he had insisted on meeting her here instead of somewhere public. So perhaps the ranch belonged to someone else. Still, there was something comforting about the building itself. It seemed solid and safe, even though no one was around.
The sound of hoofbeats startled her. A moment later, Tom rode up beside her. She could tell by his frown and his scowl that he hadn’t liked having to wait for her. She tried to smile, but he only glared at her.
“You don’t look well,” he observed after several minutes of silence.
“I’m fine,” she replied, although his concern made her uncomfortable. She knew what he was thinking: Is she sick? Had she been drinking?
It was none of his business anyway, Molly thought. She wasn’t going to discuss personal matters with him. She also didn’t intend to talk about what had happened in the marshal’s office yesterday morning.
Tom had said something about getting a drink and taking a nap before dinner, but Molly did not respond. She wanted to keep riding.
Finally, he sighed loudly and spoke softly, almost apologetically. “Why do you insist on coming with me everywhere I go?” he demanded. “You’re driving me crazy.”
What should she say to this? Why should she have to explain?
But then he added, “And when will you stop following me?”
This time she found it hard to restrain herself from saying something back. But then she remembered Tom’s warning that she was no longer allowed to speak to anyone about her investigation.
So instead, she simply asked, “Who are you talking about? Who am I supposed to stop from following you?”
“I mean everyone.”
She frowned. “Then why are you asking me such questions? You know perfectly well who I can or can’t speak with.”
“Do you understand?” Tom repeated. He stared straight ahead at the ranch house.
Molly waited for an answer. There was no sign of anyone outside the house, and she wondered if Tom would continue to pursue his question.
He finally turned his head toward her. “No, I suppose I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”
She studied his face, wondering how she should reply to his accusation. What was his problem lately? She couldn’t seem to figure it out. Maybe he didn’t like living in a small town, as she certainly had no interest in staying there.
A sudden thought occurred to her. “Did Tom tell you what happened in the marshal’s office today?” she asked.
He shrugged and kept staring ahead, his face expressionless.
“Don’t tell me you’re surprised,” she said. “Does Tom know everything that goes on inside our family?”
He looked over at her briefly, then turned back again to the ranch house. “If you must know, I’ve heard plenty of stories about your behavior over the years.”
“Such as?” she asked quietly.
“Well, there were rumors that you had an affair with your father—”
For a second, Molly was speechless. Then anger surged through her. How dare he say those things! Not only because they weren’t true, but because she had never discussed them with anyone, especially not his own family.
“There were rumors,” Tom continued, “that you ran off with a soldier from Texas—”
She shook her head in disgust, knowing exactly where this was headed. “How could you possibly believe any of those things?”
His scowl deepened. “I guess it was easy enough once I found out that my sister married a Texan.”
That was true; she’d never mentioned anything about her brother’s marriage. But now she felt angry that Tom was accusing her of such terrible things.
“And when my nephew told me that you went off with him—with a stranger,” he said, “well, naturally I assumed that meant you’d been unfaithful to our mother. That was pretty much confirmed when you left the ranch to get away from us.”
Now Molly was furious, too angry to keep silent. “You assume that I ran off with someone? With a complete stranger? Don’t make me laugh. My reputation has been ruined enough as it is without you adding more to it!”
He gave her a dirty look. “Oh really? Your reputation?” he repeated bitterly.
She ignored his question. “What makes you think I had some affair with someone? Why would I be so stupid? The only thing I’ve ever done wrong in my life is marry your sister, and yet you still call her a slut behind her back!”
The next moment, she saw Tom’s face change. His jaw dropped slightly, and he took another step back from her, shaking his head.
“Are you insane?” he asked, obviously startled by her reaction. “Did you hear yourself just now? Did you really say what I thought you said?”
Molly had been too angry to listen to what she said, which was probably why she hadn’t realized it until he spoke. But now she felt embarrassed, realizing she had spoken loud enough for people to hear her.
“Of course I did,” she snapped.
“Well, I didn’t,” he said, shaking his head again.
“You don’t have a clue what I just said.”
“I know I’m not the one who made such outlandish accusations.”
“I’ll say you’re wrong, then!”
“Fine,” he replied sharply, turning his horse around to ride in the opposite direction.
“Wait! Where are you going?” she asked, unable to stop herself from speaking even though he had already pulled away from her.
Tom glanced back over his shoulder and stared at her as if wondering where all this was coming from. “To find Tom,” he muttered.
Her heart sank as the sound of his horse disappearing into the distance rang through her ears. For the first time since they’d arrived at the ranch, she realized Tom might actually leave. And if he did, she was certain he wouldn’t come back. She didn’t know what he planned to do.
Maybe he was planning to go somewhere else, but the fact remained that he would never agree to let her work on his land again. He wasn’t a fool. He knew exactly what he was doing. All he cared about was keeping his family safe by getting rid of her.
She watched the dust trail left behind by his departing horse as she slowly returned to the ranch house, thinking about her future. If Tom didn’t want her here, she might as well take up a position on a neighboring farm. That way, she could still help out in the community.
***
After riding past the ranch house, Tom reached down to turn his horse back around and ride straight home. It was almost impossible to believe that after all these years his mother would suddenly accuse him of having an affair with his wife, or even worse, that she’d accused him of being unfaithful to her.
But then again, maybe it was just a lie to throw Molly off his scent like she used to do when they were younger. Maybe, just maybe, his mother had no idea what they’d been talking about inside the barn. Or perhaps she knew exactly what had happened between her daughter-in-law and her son.
After all, she had known them both their entire lives. What better way to drive them apart than to suggest that something scandalous had happened between the two?
He shook his head. How long would it be before everyone knew what he’d said to his wife? Would it be possible for his parents to ever forgive him? They loved Molly as much as he did, and although she was not the easiest person to live with, he didn’t think that should matter.
For a few moments, he considered going back to the barn and speaking with his wife, hoping that maybe the whole thing would disappear. But as much as he wanted to try and clear his name, he couldn’t. Not only would it ruin his credibility if he denied it, but it was also against his religion.
Religious? Was that what this had to do with his faith? Well, how could he be religious when his mother seemed to hate everything his faith stood for?
His thoughts turned to Molly as he rode up to the ranch house. He remembered when she had told him that her father was a minister. Now he wondered if she was really telling the truth.
As he approached the front porch, he noticed the door was slightly ajar. When he entered the foyer, he found Molly standing at the far end of the room, holding a handkerchief to her nose while staring out the window.
He stopped in the middle of the room as he watched her wipe her eyes. The sight of her tears shocked him more than anything else he had seen. Her emotions were genuine. He didn’t doubt for a second that she was truly upset by what his mother had said.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, unsure of what to say next.
Molly’s blue eyes met his and he saw something else reflected there: sorrow.
“Don’t worry about me,” she said softly, “it happens sometimes.”
“How often does it happen?”
“Too many times to count,” she replied with a sniffle. “Now will you please tell me why my mother thinks I’ve been unfaithful to her?”
“Your mother doesn’t think that,” he said, trying to reassure her.
Molly turned around to face him. “Yes, she does,” she insisted. “She’s so sure of it that she went so far as to tell me it was true. And she accused me of sleeping with her own son!”
“No!” Tom exclaimed, surprised at Molly’s accusation. His mother certainly could have made a mistake, but he was convinced that she hadn’t.
The corners of Molly’s mouth tugged upward as she continued, “And I thought we’d gotten past our differences.”
Tom walked over to her and placed his hands on each side of her head. With gentle fingers, he stroked her hair as she cried quietly into his chest. She felt so good against him. So soft. So warm. And her arms were around him. In spite of her accusations, he could feel how much she loved him.
It had been almost a year since she’d last held him like this. Since they’d come here. She didn’t realize how badly she missed it until now.
He brushed her hair aside, then ran his thumb along the side of her neck. A shiver raced through her body, causing her to draw closer to him.
He bent his head, wanting to kiss her lips, but before he could make any move toward that, the sound of a wagon outside caught his attention. He looked back at Molly and asked, “Where are your parents?”
“They’re in town, shopping.”
With one last lingering kiss, Tom stepped back and smiled at her. “Come on, let’s go find some lunch.”
She nodded as she wiped her tears away.
***
Molly sat in the kitchen while Tom ate his dinner that night. He seemed to enjoy eating alone and he usually chose the dining room table to eat in. But tonight, he had chosen the kitchen. It wasn’t hard to guess why. The place where they’d eaten together the first time was too small for a man such as Tom.
She picked up a carrot from the plate in front of her and popped it into her mouth as she stared down at the floor.
After a few bites of chicken, Tom put down his fork and looked up. “So why did your father accuse you of being unfaithful?”
She lowered her head. Why had she brought this up again? She was already having enough trouble with her father as it was; adding her mother’s unfounded accusations to the mix probably wouldn’t help matters.
Tom reached across the table, took her hand between his palms, and squeezed.
She looked up at him with an apologetic expression on her face. “I should have known better than to tell you about it, Tom.”
“Why?” He lifted his eyebrows and leaned forward, waiting for her answer.
“Because I don’t want you to feel guilty,” she said simply.
“What?” He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. How could she possibly feel bad about what happened? After all, Tom had only done what anyone else would have done in her situation—he’d comforted her. He hadn’t taken advantage of her when she was vulnerable or hurt.
“You must have misunderstood everything I told you,” she mumbled, “and now you’re thinking I led you on—”
“I never once thought you led me on,” he quickly interrupted, then frowned, realizing he shouldn’t have spoken so quickly, even though it was true.
“That doesn’t matter now anyway,” she mumbled. “We can’t go back to what we used to be.”
“Are you saying it isn’t possible?” He paused then asked, “Is it because of what happened between us last night?”
Her blue eyes widened as she looked down at her hands and shook her head. “No. That has nothing to do with it.”
“Then what is it?” He pulled out a chair and sat across from her. “Please tell me.”
When she finally raised her gaze, he saw a look of defeat on her face and knew exactly what it meant.
“I’m sorry, Tom,” she said quietly. “But I won’t pretend anymore.”
His stomach dropped to the floor as he waited for her to explain. But instead, she stood up and started to walk toward the door. “Goodbye, Tom.”
He rose and followed her out to the hallway. “Don’t say goodbye,” he pleaded. “You know I’ll follow you anywhere you want me to.”
Before she could respond, she stopped and turned around. “Let’s just forget it ever happened.”
She didn’t expect it to happen again and neither did he. Yet there she was, standing in front of him, wearing her coat and hat in preparation for another trip into town. As she walked out the front door, she glanced back at Tom and then disappeared from sight.
As Tom watched her leave, he realized she would probably never forgive him for what they’d shared. For the past three days, their relationship had changed. She still lived at the ranch house with him, but they rarely spoke and he didn’t dare touch her again. Not that it mattered anyway, because she certainly wouldn’t allow him near her if he tried.
If she hadn’t left in such a huff earlier, maybe things would have gone differently. Maybe he would have found her crying again that day like she had cried on the other occasions when she was upset, but she had always been ready to talk by now.
It was strange how something could turn so quickly on its head. They were once inseparable. Now all they seemed to do was argue with each other. And Tom couldn’t stand that.
In spite of his best efforts not to think about her, he could no longer fight the attraction between them.
In the beginning, he hadn’t noticed anything between them except a natural curiosity and friendship; but after Molly’s father accused her of being unfaithful, he had started to notice things about her: the way she laughed when he tickled her side, the tender way she stroked her chin when she thought, the softness of her voice…
He was sure of one thing: He loved her more today than he ever had before and she hated him for it. She might not even realize he felt that way about her yet; he would wait patiently until the right moment to tell her.
The next morning, he headed for the barn first thing and saddled the horses before returning to the house and getting dressed for work. He was riding down the dirt road that led from the ranch toward town when he heard the familiar sound of horses’ hooves pounding behind him.
When he turned around, he saw Molly running alongside his horse, wearing a long dress and carrying her hat under one arm.
“Wait!” She waved at him frantically and kept walking toward the corral while waving. He waited where he was until she reached the gate, jumped off her horse, threw her hat in his direction, and rushed inside.
After leading his horse through the open gates and tying the reins to an old fence post, he climbed down from the saddle and hurried over to where Molly was busy feeding the pigs in the back corner of the pen. “Can I help?”
“Yes, but please don’t touch my pig,” she ordered.
She pointed to the large sow snorting and grunting in the middle of a small pile of fresh straw with two smaller pigs squealing nearby. The big sow eyed Tom with suspicion.
“I promise I won’t hurt her.” Tom bent down and picked up one of the pigs and carried it over to Molly. “Here. Let me hold it for you.”
Molly held the pig’s nose with one hand as she fed it from a wooden bucket using the other. As soon as the animal finished eating, she wiped its mouth clean with a dirty rag and tossed the cloth aside.
“Why are you feeding them this early in the morning?” Tom asked. “They should be grazing all night.”
“We don’t feed them in the evening because we use it as fertilizer,” she explained.
“Fertilizer?” Tom repeated. “What kind of fertilizers are you talking about? Weeds?”
“That’s what we call manure.” She looked at him skeptically. “Have you never heard of it?”
“Well…” He cleared his throat. “No, I haven’t really thought about it before.”
“I guess you wouldn’t know much about farming.”
With the two pigs back in place, Molly grabbed a bucket of water from beside the wall and filled it with warm goat’s milk from a barrel that had been sitting outside overnight. With a quick glance over her shoulder, she added, “Just watch your hands with that bucket, because it’s hot enough to scald.”
Tom took the bucket from her and lifted it carefully to his lips. The liquid felt warm on his tongue and burned slightly when he drank it. “Hot!” He handed the bucket back to Molly after a few sips. “You’re going to make yourself sick if you drink that.”
She shrugged. “Don’t worry about me; I can handle it.”
“Are you sure?” Tom asked. “Because I’ve seen you choke down some mighty nasty things in your time.”
Her expression softened for a minute and she smiled at him with an apology in her eyes. “Oh, Tom, don’t you start in with that again. I’m sorry.”
He sighed. “Look, I’m just trying to make conversation.”
“All right then.” She returned her attention to the pigs. “So, why is fertilizer called manure anyway?”
“I think it’s funny how people find a name for everything,” he said with a shrug.
“Do they?” She turned to him and frowned. “And does that mean there might be a word for manure?”
“Maybe, but I doubt it.” He studied her curiously and realized how beautiful she looked. He wanted to kiss her but knew it would only complicate things even more. He would have to give up kissing her forever unless he could convince her to marry him. How did she feel about marrying another woman? Did she hate women as much as she seemed to dislike men?
After she finished feeding the pigs, Molly went back into the pen to grab an empty bucket and fill it from the water trough. She was pouring the goats’ milk onto the ground when he walked over to join her. “Let me do that.”
He leaned against the side of the pen and watched her while she worked. “You seem to like animals.”
“I guess so. What about you? Are you comfortable around them?”
“Some better than others.” He paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “There’s something I’ve got to tell you, but it’s not easy. Do you mind if I talk to you privately?”
She nodded. “Of course.”
“This might take a while, so you’ll probably want to get out of here.”
“I understand. If it’s important, then let’s hear it.”
Taking a deep breath, he began by telling her about his parents dying and leaving him to live with his aunt and uncle. After finishing, he told her about being sold off in a slave auction in New Orleans, his brief marriage to Lizzie, and how we were captured and shipped north.
Then he continued on about the life of a slave until they reached the plantation. It all seemed to happen so fast and he could barely believe any of it happened to him, but he needed her to know every detail so she could picture the entire experience. When he finished, Molly gasped and stared at him wide-eyed.
“It couldn’t have been that bad.”
“I was lucky.” Tom hesitated and then blurted out, “The slave master had a daughter named Rebecca. I guess she liked me because she taught me how to read, write, and even cook.”
“Cook?” Molly asked incredulously. “You cooked?”
“Yes. At least I used to.” He tried to smile but didn’t look very convincing.
“How long ago was that?”
“About eight months.”
Molly shook her head and muttered, “Eight months ago.” Then she glanced at him curiously and said, “Didn’t you learn those things in school when you were free?”
“Well…yes, I suppose I did,” he answered. “But that doesn’t mean I enjoyed them.”
She frowned at him and said, “So, you learned how to read and write while you were a slave?”
“Not exactly, because we weren’t allowed to learn anything that we wouldn’t need to survive. And besides, I wasn’t a slave anymore, so what would be the point? But I still thought it was unfair.”
“So, where do you get off teaching me now?”
“I just figured that since I’ve already gone through it once, I might as well help someone else avoid doing the same thing.”
Molly considered this and looked down at the goat’s milk. “If you teach me how to read and write, I can use it to my advantage somehow.”
Tom smiled. “That’s a good idea. Now let’s go inside and work on that plan.”
The End