Caveman in the City
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“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that this is not what you expected,” said Dr. Mathers, as he led us through the city streets of New York. “You’re probably thinking something along the lines of ‘Wow! This place looks like it was built by cavemen!’ or maybe even ‘This must be some kind of joke!'”
He chuckled at his own wit before continuing. “Well, I can assure you that neither statement is true.”
We were standing outside one of the many skyscrapers lining Fifth Avenue when we heard a loud crash from inside the building. It sounded like someone had dropped an entire shelf full of books onto the floor. We all looked up just in time to see a man plummeting toward us with nothing but air beneath him.
His arms flailed wildly for balance while he tried desperately to slow himself down so that he wouldn’t hit any pedestrians below. The people around me screamed and ran away as fast as they could, leaving only myself and my companions behind. As soon as the man’s feet touched the ground again, however, he began sprinting straight towards us.
Before anyone else could react, I grabbed hold of him and pulled him into the nearest alleyway. Once there, I released him and stepped back quickly.
The man landed hard against the brick wall beside me, causing several cracks to appear across its surface. A few seconds later, he regained his footing and turned to face me. He was tall and muscular; his skin was dark brown and covered in thick black hair.
He wore no shirt under his leather vest, revealing a large tribal tattoo covering most of his chest. In addition to being naked except for his pants, he also carried two swords strapped over each shoulder. One sword was longer than the other, which made them look almost comically disproportionate next to his body.
He stared at me blankly for a moment before speaking. “Who are you?” he asked. His voice was deep and raspy, yet somehow still managed to sound calm and collected.
“My name is Doctor Robert Mathers,” replied Dr. Mathers. “And who might you be?”
The man didn’t answer right away, instead turning his attention back to the doctor. After a brief pause, he spoke once more: “Why did you save me? Why would you risk your life for mine?”
Dr. Mathers sighed loudly. “Because I am a scientist, and scientists do things like this every day!” he exclaimed. Then, after pausing briefly, he added, “Besides, if you hadn’t been wearing those ridiculous clothes, I never would have noticed you falling off that ledge.”
At first, the man seemed confused by these words, but then he suddenly smiled. “Ahh…you mean the fur coat and the loincloth, yes?” he asked.
“Yes,” answered Dr. Mathers.
“That explains everything,” said the man, laughing heartily. “Thank you very much, sir. You saved my life.”
Before Dr. Mathers could respond, however, another figure emerged from the shadows nearby. She was dressed similarly to the man, though she appeared far less intimidating. Her long blonde hair fell past her shoulders, framing her pale blue eyes and delicate features. Unlike the man, however, she wore a simple white dress underneath her cloak.
As she approached, the man bowed deeply. “It has been an honor meeting you, madam,” he told her. “May I ask where you come from?”
She nodded politely. “I hail from the land of Eternia, in the kingdom known as Etheria,” she explained. “But please call me Princess Diana.”
The man raised both hands and clasped them together above his head. “Princess Diana, may I introduce myself? My name is Adam. And yours?”
Diana shook her head slightly. “No need to bother with formalities. Just call me Diana.”
Adam frowned. “Very well. But why don’t you tell me about yourself, anyway?”
“Oh, I’ve already done that,” she responded. “In fact, I think I mentioned it earlier.”
“What?” asked Adam.
“Your clothing,” she continued. “You wear a fur coat and loincloth. That’s quite unusual attire for a human.”
“Aye, it is indeed,” agreed Adam. “Though I suppose I should thank you for pointing that out. I’ll try to remember to change my wardrobe next time I visit New York City.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she assured him. “There will always be plenty of opportunities for you to get naked here. If you’re ever bored, feel free to drop by my castle anytime.”
“Well, I’m not sure how often I’d actually make it through security,” admitted Adam. “Still, I appreciate the offer.”
“So what brings you to Manhattan, anyway?” asked Diana.
“Actually, I came here to meet someone,” replied Adam. “Do either of you know anything about a sorcerer named Zatanna?”
***
Zatanna had been walking along the sidewalk on Broadway when she heard a loud thud coming from somewhere ahead of her. Turning around, she saw a man lying unconscious against one of the buildings. As she walked closer, she realized that he wasn’t just any ordinary person—he looked exactly like Superman!
Quickly making her way toward him, she knelt down beside him and began examining his condition. The man was breathing heavily but otherwise seemed unharmed. However, there were several cuts and bruises visible all over his body. It was clear that he must have fallen from some great height.
After a minute or so, Zatanna finally stood up again. Looking at the man, she couldn’t help but notice something else strange about him. He was completely bald, even though he clearly possessed a full head of thick black hair. This struck her as odd since most people with such prominent facial characteristics tended to keep their heads covered.
Suddenly, the man stirred slightly. When he opened his eyes, he immediately recognized the woman standing before him. “Superman!” he cried happily. “Is that really you?”
“Of course it’s me,” she replied. “Who are you supposed to be?”
He grinned widely. “My name is Clark Kent. I work for the Daily Planet newspaper.”
“Really?” she asked. “Then perhaps we can talk inside.”
Clark nodded eagerly. “Sure thing. Let’s go.”
Together, they entered the building behind him. Once inside, Zatanna led him into a small office. There, she sat him down in a chair while she went to fetch some water for him. While waiting for her return, he tried to explain himself further.
“Look, I realize this might sound crazy,” he told her, “but I swear I am who I say I am. I’m not trying to pull your leg or trick you in any way.”
“Okay,” she replied. “Let me hear the rest.”
“Well, I guess the best place to start would probably be back in Metropolis,” he suggested. “Last night, I was working late at the Daily Planet. Suddenly, I felt a tremendous jolt run through my entire body. Next thing I knew, I found myself floating outside of the city. Then, suddenly, I landed right here.”
“That sounds pretty incredible,” she remarked. “How did you manage to survive?”
“I honestly don’t know,” confessed Clark. “All I can tell you is that I woke up here in New York City.”
“Hmm…” mused Zatanna. “If you’re telling the truth, then I wonder if maybe you somehow managed to teleport yourself here.”
“Teleport?” repeated Clark. “Like, using magic?”
“Yes,” confirmed Zatanna. “It’s possible that you used some sort of spell to transport yourself across thousands of miles.”
“Wow,” said Clark. “I never thought of that.”
“Anyway, let’s see where you live,” urged Zatanna. “Maybe we can find out more about what happened to you.”
“Wait a second,” objected Clark. “Are you saying that I could use magic?”
“Not necessarily,” she explained. “But I do believe that you possess certain abilities which may allow you to perform feats beyond those normally associated with humans.”
“Huh…well, okay,” he conceded. “Lead the way.”
Together, the two of them left the office and made their way through the building. After passing several other offices, they eventually reached a large room filled with desks. Standing near one of these was an attractive young woman wearing glasses. She appeared to be reading a book but quickly put it away once she noticed Clark approaching her.
“Oh, hi,” greeted the woman. “You must be Mr. Kent. My name is Lois Lane.”
“Hi,” responded Clark. “Nice to meet you.”
Lois smiled warmly at him. “Please call me ‘Lo’.”
“Okay, Lo,” he agreed. “Now, why don’t you show us to your apartment? Maybe we’ll learn something there.”
“Sounds good,” she answered. “Follow me, please.”
As she turned to lead the way, Clark glanced briefly at Zatanna. “So, how does someone like you end up being friends with a reporter like her?” he wondered aloud.
“She’s actually quite nice,” Zatanna assured him. “And besides, reporters tend to be very curious by nature. They love learning new things.”
They followed Lois through another door, then down a long hallway until they came to a set of stairs leading upward. At the top, they passed through yet another doorway and emerged onto a balcony overlooking Manhattan. From there, they continued onward, following a narrow path that wound its way between rows of tall buildings.
Finally, after walking for nearly half an hour, they arrived at a small brownstone house. As they approached, Clark saw a sign on the front lawn: “Kent Apartment”.
“This is it,” announced Lois. “The last stop.”
Zatanna looked around curiously. “Where exactly is this place?” she asked.
“Manhattan,” answered Clark. “Near Central Park.”
“Ah,” she replied. “I’ve heard of this neighborhood before. It’s called Greenwich Village.”
“Yeah,” said Clark. “There aren’t too many people living here anymore. Most of the houses have been converted into apartments.”
“Is this your home?” inquired Zatanna.
“No,” admitted Clark. “Actually, I rent it from a friend named Jimmy Olsen.”
“Jimmy Olsen?” echoed Zatanna. “Isn’t he Superman’s sidekick?”
Clark nodded. “Right.”
“Doesn’t seem likely,” observed Zatanna.
Suddenly, a loud knock sounded at the door. A moment later, Jimmy opened it and stepped inside. He had changed his clothes since Clark first met him earlier in the day. Now, he wore a pair of jeans and a blue T-shirt.
“Hey, guys!” exclaimed Jimmy. “What are you doing here?”
“We were just looking for you,” said Zatanna. “Do you mind showing us around?”
“Sure,” he replied. “Come on in.”
He led them past the kitchen, then down a short hall toward the rear of the house. The three of them entered a large bedroom, where a single bed stood against one wall. In the center of the room sat a desk, upon which rested a laptop computer. Sitting behind the desk was a man who appeared to be in his mid-thirties. His hair was dark and curly, while his eyes seemed unusually bright and alert.
“Hello again,” said the stranger. “My name is Jonathan Kent.”
“Jonathan,” repeated Zatanna. “Was that your father’s real name?”
“Yes,” he answered. “In fact, it was my mother’s maiden name as well.”
“Well, hello, Mr. Kent,” greeted Clark. “It’s really great to finally meet you.”
“Likewise,” returned Jonathan. “Would you care for some coffee or tea?”
“Coffee would be fine,” responded Clark.
“Me too,” added Zatanna.
“Excellent,” said Jonathan. “Then perhaps you’d like to sit down and tell me what brings you all the way out here today.”
“That’s right,” confirmed Clark. “We’re hoping you can help us find our missing friend.”
“Missing friend?” questioned Jonathan. “Who might that be?”
“A guy named John Jones,” explained Clark. “He works for the Daily Planet newspaper.”
“I see,” mused Jonathan. “How did he go missing?”
“His wife found him unconscious in their apartment yesterday morning,” answered Clark. “Apparently, he had fallen off the roof.”
“Fell off the roof?” queried Jonathan. “Why didn’t anyone else hear anything about this?”
“Because no one noticed,” answered Clark. “John has a condition known as super hearing. If he doesn’t want others to know something, they won’t.”
“Interesting,” remarked Jonathan. “But if he fell off the roof, wouldn’t he have broken bones?”
“Not necessarily,” replied Clark. “Superman once told me that he could withstand falls much greater than any ordinary human being.”
“Really?” asked Jonathan. “Did he say why?”
“No,” Clark admitted. “All I remember is that it had something to do with his powers.”
“Hmm…” murmured Jonathan. “Very interesting.”
“Anyway,” said Clark. “We need to get back to Metropolis tonight so we can continue searching for John.”
“You don’t think he’ll turn up here in New York City?” asked Jonathan.
“I’m afraid not,” said Clark. “If nothing else, the police will probably search every building within several blocks of his apartment.”
“True enough,” agreed Jonathan. “Still, there may be other places to look. Why don’t you come over tomorrow night? We should be able to spend more time together.”
“Thanks,” said Clark. “We appreciate the offer.”
“Don’t mention it,” said Jonathan. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must return to work.”
With that, he turned away from them and began typing on his computer keyboard. After a few seconds, he smiled and closed the lid. Then he rose slowly to his feet.
“Thank you again for meeting with us,” said Clark.
“Anytime,” replied Jonathan. “Good luck finding your friend.”
The three friends bid farewell and left the house. As soon as they reached the sidewalk outside, Zatanna looked at Clark.
“So, how does it feel to actually meet someone who knows Superman?” she asked.
“Pretty good,” he replied. “Although, I still haven’t seen him yet.”
“Maybe next time,” suggested Zatanna.
Clark nodded, but before he could reply, Jimmy called out to him.
“Hey, Clark! Wait up!”
Jimmy ran across the street ahead of the group, then stopped in front of them. He held out an envelope.
“Here,” he announced. “This came in the mail for you today.”
“For me?” inquired Clark.
“Yeah,” replied Jimmy. “It says ‘To Clark Kent’ on the front.”
“Great,” said Clark. “What’s inside?”
“Just a letter,” answered Jimmy. “From Lois Lane.”
“Lois?” exclaimed Clark. “She sent me a letter?”
“Uh huh,” confirmed Jimmy. “And guess what? She wants you to call her.”
“Call her?” echoed Clark. “Why?”
“I dunno,” shrugged Jimmy. “Something about wanting to talk to you.”
“Okay,” said Clark. “Let me read it first.”
As he opened the envelope, Clark scanned the contents quickly. It wasn’t long before he realized what Lois wanted.
“Oh man,” he muttered. “I gotta take this.”
“Take what?” asked Zatanna.
“My phone,” answered Clark. “I’ve got to make sure she gets home okay.”
“Wait a minute,” objected Zatanna. “Isn’t she staying with you?”
“Right now, yeah,” answered Clark. “But I can’t leave her alone when she’s upset.”
“Well, maybe you shouldn’t worry too much,” advised Zatanna. “After all, you two are just friends, aren’t you?”
“Of course we’re friends,” argued Clark. “But sometimes, people act differently around each other. And besides, I promised my dad that I would always watch out for her.”
“Besides,” added Zatanna. “You already made plans to hang out with us tonight.”
“Yes, but—” started Clark.
Suddenly, a car horn sounded behind them. The driver honked repeatedly until Clark finally moved aside to let the vehicle pass by. When the car was gone, Clark turned to face the others.
“Sorry,” he apologized. “I really have to go.”
“Sure thing,” said Zatanna. “See ya later.”
“Bye,” said Jimmy.
Clark waved goodbye, then hurried toward the nearest payphone. Once there, he dialed Lois’ number. A moment passed before a familiar voice spoke into his earpiece.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Lois,” said Clark. “How did things go last night?”
“Fine,” she replied. “In fact, everything went great.”
“That’s wonderful,” said Clark. “Listen, I want to apologize for not calling you earlier today.”
“Don’t worry about it,” said Lois. “I understand. You were busy looking for John.”
“Actually, I didn’t find him,” said Clark. “He’s missing somewhere in Manhattan.”
“Missing?” repeated Lois. “Where do you think he might be?”
“Honestly, I don’t know,” admitted Clark. “All I can tell you is that he disappeared after our date yesterday afternoon. That’s why I had to cancel dinner with you tonight.”
“No problem,” assured Lois. “I completely understood.”
“Thanks,” said Clark. “Anyway, I hope you won’t mind if I keep searching for him instead of going out with you tonight.”
“Not at all,” replied Lois. “If anything happens, though, please contact me immediately.”
“Will do,” said Clark. “Now, listen…I’m sorry I missed your call this morning. But I promise I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
“Okay,” agreed Lois. “Talk to you tomorrow.”
“Sounds good,” said Clark.
The End