Bad Smile
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It was a long drive back to the ranch. In her mind, she replayed the conversation with Morgan in an attempt to understand his reasoning for wanting to take on this job. She had no doubt he’d been sincere about being concerned about his family’s safety and that he wasn’t trying to deceive her or make light of his situation.
But it still didn’t change things between them. He hadn’t even tried to apologize for leaving her behind at the hotel. It seemed like such a simple thing to do and yet, as usual, he made everything more complicated than it needed to be.
“I’m not sure I can trust you anymore.” Her words were barely out of her mouth when she regretted saying anything. “I know you’re trying to help your family but… I just don’t think it would work,” she said after clearing her throat.
The silence stretched. They drove through the night without speaking again until they reached their ranch house. When they pulled into the driveway, she turned off the engine and looked up at him.
He stared down at the steering wheel as if he couldn’t look at her right now. Then he lifted his gaze to meet hers. There was so much pain there—pain she’d caused. Was he angry? Frustrated? Did he blame her?
She wanted to tell him that he could have stopped any of what happened tonight from happening by simply telling her he loved her. That he should have trusted her enough to confide in her. That he shouldn’t expect her to read his mind. But none of those things came easily for either one of us. We’ve both done our share of deceiving each other over these years.
But instead, all she did was ask, “Do we really need to do this?”
His answer surprised her. “Yes, we do.”
“Why?”
“Because someone has to stop him before he destroys himself completely.” His voice broke slightly.
What are you talking about? You mean this man who once told me I was beautiful is actually thinking about destroying himself? What happened to make life better for everyone involved?
As he walked around the front of the car, she followed. The lights inside the living room glowed warmly against the darkness outside. The air conditioning was already running; it felt good coming in from the desert heat. She hoped it would keep her awake during the night. If nothing else, it might cool the anger simmering beneath her skin.
When he stepped closer, she held her breath. He hesitated briefly then wrapped his arms around her waist.
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” he whispered.
Then he left the room without another word.
For a moment, she stood frozen, wondering whether he meant that as a promise or a threat. She let herself relax only after he shut the door behind him.
At first, she thought the anger burning within her was because of his unexpected departure. But then she realized something else. This time, she knew why she hurt. And although it was too soon to say it aloud, she knew Morgan wouldn’t abandon her ever again.
There was no reason to stay in bed. After getting dressed, she went downstairs to find dinner ready. It was late but neither one of them mentioned it. Instead, they ate silently together. As far as she could see, neither of them wanted to break the spell that bound them together.
They sat in companionable silence while eating and cleaning up afterward. She wondered how many meals like this they’d shared since they’d met. So many that they almost forgot how to communicate with each other. Maybe one day they would grow old and gray sitting side-by-side in this same kitchen. At least that’s what she imagined.
After washing the dishes, she returned upstairs to pick out some clothes to wear to town the next morning. Although it was tempting to put on something sexy, she opted for practicality instead. She chose a pair of jeans and a sleeveless cotton blouse. By the time she finished dressing, she heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
Morgan opened the door. She was standing beside him wearing the same clothes as last night. Without a word, he grabbed his hat and coat and headed for the barn. Before leaving, he paused and kissed her cheek.
“Sleep well, honey.”
Without turning back, he disappeared into the dark night.
***
It wasn’t easy getting up early the next morning. Not even the sight of her own reflection in the mirror helped get her out of bed. Still, she forced herself to rise before dawn. After showering, she applied makeup and styled her hair. Finally, she slipped into the outfit she’d picked out the previous night: blue jeans and a white shirt with long sleeves.
By the time she got to the barn, Morgan had already saddled two horses. Both were black stallions with distinctive red eyes.
He handed her the reins and said, “This is Thunder. These are your new horses.”
Thunder snorted as he neighed. He was just as tall as Gunner and as big. Now that she saw him close up, she noticed that he was shaggy. Some of his hair was missing from where he’d rubbed against trees and fences.
She shook her head when he offered her a carrot to feed him. “You don’t think I can ride him, do you?”
“I know you can.”
“Well, prove it.”
He took the carrots away from her and tossed them to Thunder. They grazed quietly until Morgan motioned for her to mount. When she turned around, he was grinning at her.
“Don’t worry. I won’t let him buck you off.”
Her hands trembled as she grasped the saddle horn. Once she climbed aboard, she asked, “How much farther are we going today?”
“To San Angelo.”
San Angelo! Why there? What if this man is really dangerous? How am I supposed to protect myself and my family if we go anywhere near him?
Instead of answering her question, he started walking toward the open gate.
“Where are we going exactly?”
“Just follow me.”
So she did.
The sun rose higher over the horizon as the miles flew by. Soon, the road curved westward into a narrow canyon. Then it widened again, giving way to wide stretches of desert land. A few hours later, she looked forward to seeing anything besides more sand.
But it didn’t take long for her hopes to fade. In fact, it never happened. No water, no shade, no grass—nothing green to speak of. Just an endless expanse of dry earth stretching forever ahead of her.
She couldn’t imagine living here full-time. There was little chance of finding work. Most likely, she’d end up taking care of a ranch house and cooking for whoever lived there. Her stomach churned at the very thought of it.
When she finally stopped to rest, she leaned against Thunder’s flank. He nuzzled her shoulder affectionately. The warmth of his body eased her mind. Even so, she hated being so far from home.
“What will happen if I refuse to go any further?” she whispered.
“Nothing,” he said without looking back at her. “We’ll turn around and return to Denver tomorrow.”
“And you expect me to be happy about that?”
“Why not? It beats sitting on the porch alone and worrying yourself sick.”
That made sense, but it still wouldn’t make her feel any better. She wished she could talk to someone about her worries, but she knew it was useless to ask Morgan to confide in anyone else. If he talked about her or her father, he’d only hurt their chances of saving them both. And he might also reveal that she was his accomplice. That was something she simply couldn’t allow.
For now, all she could do was try to distract herself. She watched the scenery pass by while keeping one eye on Morgan. As they rode along, she realized how comfortable she felt around him. During the past three days together, he’d treated her like a woman. But he hadn’t tried to kiss her. Nor had he shown any interest in other women.
Was he gay? Or perhaps he was trying to protect her? She wanted to believe the latter was true. At least for the moment.
As noon approached, she ate a small lunch of salami, cheese, and crackers. Then she decided to check out the saddlebags he’d left behind. Since he’d refused to give her directions to San Angelo, she needed some kind of map to guide her.
Inside the first bag, she found several letters addressed to him. One was from his mother; another from his sister, Grace. His brother, Luke, sent a letter once every month. Each contained personal information about him that he probably wouldn’t want to share with others.
In addition, she discovered two folded sheets of paper inside a pocket. On the top sheet were five numbers: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7. The second page held four words written in pencil: “This is our code word. Memorize it.”
The numbers meant nothing to her. So did the words. What good would memorizing them do? Did he plan on using them someday?
While she studied the contents of the saddlebags, Morgan walked up beside her and nudged Thunder closer. After tossing a few pieces of bread to him, he reached into the next bag and pulled out a leather-bound book.
“It looks like your journal,” she said.
He flipped through its pages before closing it. “I keep track of everything in my life.”
“Everything? Like what?”
“My feelings, thoughts, emotions, dreams…everything.”
“Doesn’t everyone?”
His gaze met hers. “Not like mine.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You mean you’re different than most people?”
“Yes,” he replied flatly.
“Are you gay?”
A faint smile touched his lips. “No.”
Good thing. Otherwise, she’d have to kill him right now.
They rode side by side until late afternoon when the sky turned dark blue. Then thunder rumbled across the heavens as clouds gathered overhead. With rain threatening, she dismounted and tied Thunder’s reins to a nearby hitching rail. While she waited for Morgan to finish cleaning himself off, she stretched her legs and surveyed the surrounding area.
Raindrops began to fall as soon as she returned to Thunder’s stall. By then, she was soaked through, so she changed into fresh clothes. They smelled musty, but she washed away the worst of the dirt and sweat. Once she dried her hair with a towel, she braided it loosely and tied it back with a piece of ribbon.
Morgan joined her shortly after. When he saw she wasn’t wearing the hat and coat, he looked disappointed.
“Don’t worry,” she told him. “If we get caught in a storm, I won’t let us drown.”
Thunder snorted loudly.
“See?” she said. “He thinks you’re more important to me than anything else.”
“Most people don’t think animals are smart enough to understand human speech,” he pointed out. “Maybe this horse has a higher IQ than most.”
She laughed. “Probably.”
With an effortless motion, he slipped onto Thunder’s back. A quick glance showed that Rainey had already done the same with her mare. Now she led her horse toward the main road leading south.
After mounting Thunder, Morgan followed close behind. He kept glancing over at her. Her heart raced faster each time he did, making her uncomfortable. Finally, she spoke up. “Do you know where we’re going?”
“San Angelo.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because I’ve been there many times.”
She frowned. “How can you be sure? You didn’t take me anywhere near San Angelo during the trip here.”
“We stopped in a town called New Orleans. There’s a big cattle market there.”
That explained why the ranchers wore hats with large brims. “Did you buy a herd of cows?”
“Yes, but not the reason we went there. It was just a pit stop.”
She sighed. Why couldn’t he just tell her the truth? Instead, he acted like she should know everything about him. That only made her feel stupid.
By nightfall, the rain continued to pour down, soaking the ground and washing away dust from the dry prairie. As they traveled farther east, the terrain became flatter. Eventually, the land rose again. Soon they were surrounded by towering oak trees.
Once the sun set, lightning lit their way. But thunderstorms were frequent in these parts, so they never lost sight of one another even though the rain poured down, drenching the earth beneath Thunder’s hooves. She rode beside Morgan while he directed her around a particularly thick patch of brush.
“Where are we headed exactly?” she asked. “You could have taken me straight to San Antonio.”
“Why?”
“So we could go home together.”
He stared ahead without saying a word. Was he angry with her? Had she gone too far? Or did he want to spend the rest of his life with her?
Her throat tightened painfully. How much longer could they ride side by side before someone spotted them? And if they did, how long would it take before anyone found the bodies? If only she knew the answer to those questions.
“There!” Rainey exclaimed.
The flash of light illuminated the road ahead, revealing the outline of a small shack. In front of it stood two men. One held a shotgun while the other brandished a rifle. Both were dressed in faded shirts and dusty overalls.
Rainey steered her horse closer to the shack. The men eyed her suspiciously. She noticed they weren’t alone. Others were waiting inside the shanty, which appeared to be little more than a wooden shed.
As they drew nearer, she recognized some of the ranch hands who’d come out earlier today. They all looked nervous.
Suddenly, a man stepped forward from the shadows. His face was hidden by a bandana, but he still managed to give her a chilling glare.
“I see your friends are keeping busy,” he said.
Rainey glanced back at Morgan.
His gaze met hers briefly.
Then she nudged Thunder into a fast walk.
The End