Across The Ocean To See You
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Auntie had told me that the only people who knew about my mission were Uncle Jack, Auntie, and the two detectives. Now I was alone in a hotel room with someone who knew nothing of what I was doing or why—someone who might not believe me even if I told her everything. It was like a test to see how well you could lie without actually lying, but I’d never been very good at it.
I didn’t know exactly where Auntie was now, so there was no way for me to find out where she would be when the steamship left port next week. If I wanted to get back on the ship, I’d have to go through this man and hope he believed me about being a traveling saleswoman.
He came up behind me as soon as the door closed after him. He stood close enough so our shoulders touched. “What do you think? Pretty fancy place here.”
“It’s pretty big.”
The hotel clerk came into the room then and asked us if we needed anything else. When he turned away from us, I whispered, “How did you know it was me?”
His laugh sounded like something between an echo and a rumble. “You look like Auntie.” His hand reached out for mine before his eyes lowered toward my chest. I pulled my fingers free and stepped around him to pick up my suitcase. Before I got far, he put his hand against the small of my back and urged me closer to him. “We can make a deal,” he said softly.
“What kind of deal?” I wasn’t ready for more surprises. This was all too complicated already.
“Come with me. We’ll both be rich by tomorrow morning.” He leaned over my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “And then you won’t need any detective work.”
I felt his breath tickle my neck. “There’s no reason for me to trust you. You don’t know a thing about me. Why would I want to join you?”
“Because I’m offering you money—”
“That doesn’t mean that much to me.” That was true. But he hadn’t asked for anything personal yet; I had nothing to lose by asking him about Auntie. I’d heard him say that they were going to get married, which meant they probably knew each other better than he let on. “Why are you looking for Auntie anyway? She hasn’t mentioned you.”
His smile disappeared and I could feel the heat emanating from him. “She’s not your auntie anymore, little girl. She’s dead.”
When he released me, I stumbled back until I bumped into the bed frame. His hand slapped against my cheek and the sound of flesh hitting flesh made my ears ring. Blood dripped down the side of my face and my hands shook when I brought them to my face.
Before the clerk returned to the room, I grabbed my suitcase and ran out of the room. A bellman followed me and I thought he was going to try to stop me again. Instead, he took my arm and walked me back to the room.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“No, I’m not okay!” My voice rose high-pitched like a child’s when someone yells, “Mommy!”
“Here, let me get some water.”
The hotel clerk handed over a glass filled with cold water. I gulped half of it before taking another sip. “Thank you.”
“Do you need anything else, ma’am?” the bellman asked, his expression softening and showing concern.
“Just leave her alone. Don’t follow her or call her,” the man growled at him and turned toward the door.
The bellman backed away from me and bowed slightly. Then he left the room and closed the door behind him.
For a few minutes, I sat on the edge of the bed holding the empty water glass in my hands. I wondered if my hands trembled because I was nervous or because I was afraid that I’d done something wrong. I was shaking so badly that I dropped the glass onto the floor. Water poured across the carpet and soaked through the thin wood under the bed.
“Are you going to be all right?” The bellman knelt beside the broken glass and held out his hand, but I didn’t take it. I’d never known anyone who’d ever gotten shot or killed, but I imagined this is what it must feel like to be stabbed. I couldn’t think clearly. The world was black and gray while the room seemed to glow with red hues from the blood splattered everywhere.
“Ma’am?” He reached out again for my hands and when I didn’t move away, he put his fingers under mine so that we clasped together. I wanted to pull away from him, but I couldn’t seem to make my arms cooperate.
“Please help me.” My words sounded like they came from a different person.
“Don’t cry,” he said quietly, as his fingers rubbed against mine. “Auntie wouldn’t have wanted you to cry.”
“Where can I find a doctor?” I tried to stand up, but I almost fell back onto the bed.
“I’ll see what I can do.” He helped me to my feet and I leaned against him when I wobbled.
My stomach churned and I leaned against him even harder, hoping he wouldn’t notice how weak I was. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled to myself and pressed my forehead to his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have come here.”
The bellman wrapped one strong arm around my waist and supported me when he carried me toward the stairs. When we stopped at the top, he placed me gently on a chair. “It’s just a scratch,” he said softly. “Nothing serious.”
He opened the door and stepped out of the way. I watched as he pulled two more chairs from the dining room table, sat them next to the bed and lowered me to the floor. I was dizzy and felt like throwing up. “What happened?”
“You were attacked by that man earlier—”
“Who?”
“He told us that he was looking for your auntie. Apparently, she’s dead.”
“Oh no! What happened to her?” I looked down at my hands where tiny drops of blood stained my skin and dripped onto the floor. It reminded me of the day Auntie had died and when I’d been forced to watch while men cut off her hair.
“There were four other women who got killed. All within the last week or so.”
“But what about you? Where are you going to stay tonight?”
“They’re putting me in the boarding house downstairs. But don’t worry, I won’t bother you anymore. And you should probably get cleaned up and change clothes before you go downstairs. Someone might recognize you.”
His kind smile and gentle manner made me feel less like an intruder in this town of strangers. “Thank you,” I whispered, trying to hold back my tears. “And please tell Mrs. Gossett that I’ll return tomorrow.”
I didn’t want to ask if she could find me a place to live because then she would know I wasn’t leaving town any time soon. So instead I said, “I have an appointment with a judge in Denver.”
The bellman nodded. “Yes, I heard there was a trial starting in three days.”
“I’ll be back.”
“If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to let me know.” His eyes glistened with moisture as he gazed at me, and he hesitated before he spoke. “I’m so very sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing?” I didn’t understand why people always apologized when something terrible happens. Wasn’t that the natural thing to do? If someone broke into your home, wouldn’t you apologize for calling the police or for not having more expensive locks? Or if you saw someone drowning and didn’t save them?
“Because I don’t believe in accidents.” His face was grim with sorrow. “This is what God sends to punish us for our sins.”
That’s exactly what Auntie said when she’d spoken of God and sin and punishment. It made sense now. This was God’s revenge for the crimes committed against him by those who’d lived among his chosen people—his chosen women.
“Do you mean that God sent these men to kill us?” I asked and wiped the blood from my lips with a napkin that I found on the side table. “Then he must hate us.”
The bellman shook his head sadly. “God loves all his children, but we’ve forgotten our ways and have strayed from the path. He gave us free will, but we misuse it and use people to hurt each other.”
“So you’re saying that God doesn’t send people like this?” I pointed to my throat. “I was attacked by one man who shot me in the neck and another came to finish the job. Did God give them the idea that I’m worth killing?”
The bellman shrugged. “Maybe. We all make choices, good and bad. The important thing is to learn from past mistakes.”
***
I didn’t know what to expect in the morning so I lay awake until early afternoon, watching the clock tick away the hours. After a restless night and a long wait, the bellman returned. He brought two large bags filled with clothing and toiletries.
“Your luggage arrived yesterday,” he said and set them on the bed. “Here you are.” He handed me a bundle and I opened it, amazed at the contents. There were several dresses, skirts, blouses, undergarments, and shoes, along with a hat, gloves, makeup case, and even underwear.
I couldn’t imagine how much money the hotel owner must have spent to get such fine clothes here so quickly.
“How did you know to bring me these things?”
He smiled and reached over to take my hand. “Because that’s what people do for their friends.”
After I dressed in the first pair of pants I’d worn in weeks, I tried to put some color on my pale face and dabbed the dark circles under my eyes with a little rouge. The only problem was that I had never used cosmetics before so I didn’t know which ones went together, and after staring blankly at the makeup for thirty minutes, I decided it was best to leave everything alone.
As I studied myself in the mirror, I thought again of Auntie and how I should have learned her secrets to the beauty before they died. That way I wouldn’t look so different from everyone else in town. But I hadn’t had enough time to learn, and now it was too late.
I glanced around the room, wondering if there was a chance I might find someone who knew what I was doing. But the walls were covered with posters advertising saloons, gambling houses, and whorehouses. They were painted with images of beautiful young women with red lipstick, sparkling eyes, and pouty mouths.
Their breasts hung out of low-cut bodices. And I noticed that the bellboy seemed to know where every woman’s hiding place was. He was probably one of the men who worked there and he knew the names of the girls working in the brothels. I shuddered to think what he knew about me.
A knock sounded on the door and my heart leaped to hear it was a visitor. Surely I would find someone in this city who could help me. My hopes faded when I saw the bellman holding a tray filled with food. When he stepped inside the room, he said, “You haven’t eaten yet?”
My stomach rumbled loudly as I stared at the sandwiches, rolls, and a glass of lemonade. I took a bite out of one sandwich, which was so hot I burned my tongue. “What is this?” I asked. It tasted like corned beef, but the meat was cold.
“It’s a new recipe for ham salad,” he said and offered me the glass. “Try it.”
When I lifted it to my lips, I nearly gasped. It was filled with lemonade mixed with gin. “I don’t drink!” I said and handed the glass back. “And I don’t eat anything cold.”
He shrugged and placed the tray on a small table near the window. “You’ll be eating soon enough. You’ll need your strength tonight.”
Before I could protest, he left and closed the door behind him. I watched him leave for a moment and then returned to staring out the window.
“You can’t sleep,” said the bellman when he came back in.
I turned to look at him. “I thought I’d rest my eyes for an hour or so.”
He frowned. “If you wanted to sleep, why didn’t you go down to the restaurant for some coffee? It’s free to our guests.”
“Why not?” I asked. “It seems to me that you’re getting something valuable for nothing.”
The bellman sat down across from me. “That’s because we’ve been very selective about who we let in this hotel, and I’m sure you can understand why. We’ve got to keep up appearances.” His gaze lingered on me for a while and then he added, “But there are plenty of places in town where you can find a cup of coffee if that’s what you want.”
I nodded, thinking I’d rather have some sleep than a drink. After I drank two cups of coffee and ate all the ham salad on my plate, the bellman finally gave up trying to talk me into going downstairs.
The End